In the Name of Promise
by wingyan1320
Summary: Years ago the Lightwoods asked Magnus for help: sending their only child Alexander to a mundane family and being raised like one. 17 years later Magnus received a call and he had no choice but rescue Alec, both physically and psychologically. *Warnings inside. Malec, AU.
1. Prologue

**Warnings:** This fiction contains sexual content, brief description of drug abuse and swearing.

**Disclaimer:** All characters belong to Cassandra Clare and some scenes belong to the movie Transamerica.

**A/N**: A new story! Yay! The story is inspired after I watched the movie "Transamerica", just state here first. I hope you all can enjoy it as much as I do. I know you might be confused at the beginning, but things will be explained later as the story goes. A review would make my day :)

***The updating speed of this story might be slow, but weekly update is sure. Sometimes if the progress is faster than I planned there might be an update two to four days. Just say this in advance! I would never abandon my stories.**

* * *

**Prologue**

The sky was pitch-black, the moon and stars were hidden behind those stormy clouds. Branches wavering through the wind, shadows under the street lames changing its form along with the movements. Robert Lightwood knocked the door couple of times and received no response. Panicking, he started banging. "Magnus Bane! Open the door, please – " He swore he had never begged anyone, but now for his family's sake, he had to.

Maryse pacing behind her husband, eyes darting around the neighborhood with alert. They had come this far, if Magnus Bane – the High Warlock of Brooklyn – didn't open his door they were going to apply a rune. No matter what they were getting into his house, with or without his consent.

Just when Robert got out his stele, a voice said behind the door. "What are two Circle members doing outside my door? I thought I've made myself clear that you're not welcome." The hostile tone didn't surprise the Lightwoods, it was obvious that Magnus and they were on two different sides. However, things were about to change.

While Robert was finding his tongue, Maryse trembled. "We're here asking for help, Warlock Bane. We didn't want to ally with Valentine anymore and run away – " Suddenly there was a roaring cry from Maryse arms, so loud that probably the whole neighborhood was awoken by it.

Then the shut door was opened by a tiny gap. They couldn't see much of the person because there was no light, only a pair of golden-green cat eyes shining in the darkness. "You have kid?" Magnus cursed himself when he held the door for them to walk in, being sympathetic was going to be the cause of his death. He wouldn't want his name went from "the most powerful warlock in the century" to "the most naïve downworlder in all generation". Nonetheless, he let them in and followed a snap of his fingers, the living room was lightened in a warm orange color by a chandelier in the middle of the ceiling.

Robert murmured a 'thank you' and closed the door firmly after Maryse hurried to the couch, started undressing. "Hold on there, what are you doing?" Magnus could see the curvy upper body covered in marks, and a while after the crying stopped, replaced by the sound of sucking. Maryse turned around and sunk herself into the couch, relaxing as breastfeeding the baby.

Eyebrows raised, Magnus rested his hands on his waist, looking at Robert. "What exactly do you want me to help?" Robert knew it was their chance, if he didn't get it they were screwed. "I know you might not believe this, but we realize how wrong we were. We didn't want our son to live in a world under a cruel authority, being brainwashed by Valentine..."

Magnus could finish rest of the story himself. The Lightwoods ran away from control of Valentine, it basically declared that they changed their stand. He knew what Valentine would do to those who betrayed him. Death was the least torturous punishment.

"So? A war is coming, and I could not guarantee your safety. You must know that there is no upper hand in this battle. Much like pulling an all-in in a poker game when you know nothing is in the rivalry's hand." Magnus explained. He could see their intention of coming here. Magnus was a respected warlock in the downworlder community, the Lightwoods observed that and they wanted his power to influence something, or at least someone.

"We're not talking about our lives, but our son's – he doesn't deserve anything of this."

Magnus turned his attention toward the quiet baby in Maryse's arms. The love in Maryse's eyes softened her image of a tough shadowhunter, and Robert's voice was filled with affection when he mentioned his boy. Magnus supposed when it came to your own blood, people would do anything to do what's the best, even if it might cost their lives.

"I'll send a fire message to my fellows reporting your situation. As for the boy…" Maryse stepped in speaking. "A mundane."

"What?" Asked Magnus. Maryse exhaled a deep breath, "He isn't marked. We want Alexander to be raised like a mundane. Stay away from the shadow world will do nothing but good to him." The boy cried out when Maryse spoke his name, one hand rested on his heart, and one clenched on Maryse's index finger.

As if they were still trying to convince themselves, Robert repeated. "It'll be the best sending him away." Magnus couldn't help but felt a sense of compassion towards the Lightwoods. Giving up your child for his future and thinking of the baby growing up without acknowledging their presences would be the most devastating thing for the parents. But the Lightwoods had made their choice. It was not his position to say anything.

Maryse waved Robert over and handed him Alexander, putting her shirt back on. The boy was asleep with a full stomach. Robert swayed a little, mumbling some lyrics of an unknown song. Maryse pocketed out a necklace, 'Lightwood' crafted delicately in the back sliver base of the sapphire pendant. She carefully put it on the boy's chubby neck, planted a kiss on his forehead.

Robert turned and dragged himself in front of Magnus. "Please get him a good family." Magnus looked at Maryse, then back at Robert. The only thing in their eyes was sorrow, which Magnus pondered if it was a good idea dropping the kid at some mundane family's house. But Robert held out his hands, pushing the peacefully sleeping baby into his chest with a force that Magnus almost got knocked over. Yet he didn't wake up.

The Lightwood boy was wrapped in a white blanket, Magnus was curious if it was the blood that made him looked like an angel. Purely black hair with a contrast of pale skin, both inherited from his parents. Stroking the red cheeks of the young Alexander, Magnus promised the Lightwoods that he would kept their baby away from the shadow world until the day death claimed his life.


	2. Chapter 1: Son of Lightwoods

**Disclaimer:** All characters belong to Cassandra Clare and some scenes belong to the movie Transamerica.

**A/N**: As I don't live in USA, so I just google map the place and randomly pick a small town. If there is any mistake about the geography, please bare with me.

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**Chapter 1: Son of Lightwoods**

When Magnus got the call, he was having his routine afternoon nap. Chairman Meow curled up into a furry ball besides him, white whiskers tickling the side of Magnus's naked upper body. In a half-awoken state, it took him some time to snatch the phone. "WHO DARE DISTURB MY REST!" Magnus admitted he got up on the wrong side of the bed, but who wasn't if their wonderful dreams full of unicorns were interrupted?

"Um, do you happen to know any Lightwoods?"

Magnus's feline eyes flied open, now his mind was calculating like a super computer. Lightwoods, of course he knew them. Robert and Maryse, the infamous Circle members that betrayed Valentine and helped the Clave winning the nasty battle, during which they sacrificed themselves for the greater cause. Magnus would never forget their determination when Valentine chopped their heads off.

"Who am I speaking to?"

The conversation didn't last longer than a minute, yet it shocked Magnus so greatly that he felt like he was going to throw up. One thing to be sure, was that Magnus didn't take the news quite good: Alexander, the son of the Lightwoods, was in jail.

* * *

Clary put the cup of tea on the glass table and sat next to Magnus. Something was up.

"Everything alright?" In the past years Clary had not seen Magnus so distracted and worried, not after the deaths of Lightwoods. They became close after Robert and Maryse fled from the Circle; 'best bud' would be the perfect phase for the description of their relationship.

Magnus let out a heavy sigh, emptied the cup. "When the Lightwoods came to my door and seek help, they were not alone."

Her eyebrows furrowed. Sure she knew the Lightwoods asked Magnus for protection, as Valentine would never tolerate any traitors but she didn't expect a twist like this. To be honest, she even felt a bit hurt because she and Magnus were close friends, and Magnus told her nothing other than the Lightwoods were joining their side from that moment onwards.

Magnus stopped and licked his lips. "Today I got a call from a boy in Seattle who claimed himself the son of Robert and Maryse Lightwood, and he needed someone to bail him out."

"What?" Surprised, Clary's emerald eyes stared at Magnus, observing his expression. Magnus was obviously not expect the call, if not he wouldn't rush to her house with no make-up or whatsoever. "Is it reliable? I mean, is he really…?"

Magnus gave a faint nod. "Well, does that mean you're going?"

Clary didn't hear the answer, but she knew Magnus well. He was a man that honored his promise and he wouldn't want a stain on his reputation.

* * *

The police station looked like shit. The wall was stained with non-known substances, most likely vomits as the smell was acid and unbearable. The officer behind the bulletproof counter waved him over, voice passed through the tiny holes left on the glass for sound transmitting purpose.

"You're here for Alexander Starkweather?"

"Yes. I'm a friend of his parents, officer." Magnus got side glance from people even when he was just wearing a plain green T-shirt with a pair of tight-ass jeans. It was common for someone like Magnus, confident and attractive. Irritated by the slow speed of process, his boots were knocking on the floor steadily.

The officer scrolled the mouse and looked concentrated on the screen. Finally he turned to the papers spread in front of him and wrote something down. "He was arrested because our officers caught him red-handed shop shifting alcohol, and he possessed a small amount of suspicious white powders but we cannot identify it as the evidence is destroyed."

"He's doing drugs?" For the son of Lightwoods, he couldn't believe the adorable baby held in his arms turned into a junkie and alcoholic.

"Most of them are," Busily writing, and then the officer dropped a bomb that would mark the end of the world.

"homeless teenage boy working as a prostitute." Okay, Magnus had not thought things would be _this_ worse. Unconsciously he swallowed a huge gulp of saliva, took his wallet out from the jean's pocket. "How much is the bail?"

"One dollar."

His hand stopped running through the notes. "One dollar." Said Magnus.

"Yup. Wait on the bench after payment." He passed the note under the micro-slit.

Sitting on the filthy bench opposite the counter, Magnus thought how much his favorite combination – black and blue – had changed since the last time he laid eyes on the boy. The inky black hairs were soft and silky between his fingers, matched with a pair of ocean blue eyes. He spent a marvelous time with the young Alexander when he was planning his future. Magnus could imagine what a brave shadowhunter the little boy would be. However, the day would never come. Alexander was to be raised and lived like a mundane.

The door next to the counter quacked as it opened, two figures emerged. In the front was another officer in uniform, a dark haired boy followed behind. His head remained low even when he was brought to Magnus, seemed unable to make eye contact. A necklace was around his pale neck.

The teenager was handsome, Magnus would say. The only thing that annoyed him was the boring black clothing Alexander was wearing. It was a torture for his eyes.

"Alexander?"

"Alec." The emotionless tone made Magnus's heart stopped a moment. "Huh?"

"I prefer Alec, if that's okay with you. Who are you?"

"Fine, Alec. I'm Magnus form the – uh, church, you know, a missionary."

"What church?"

"The Institute." _Oh boy, here we go._

"What do you want from me?" Now Alec's voice had become cold, eyes stared right at Magnus's yellow green irises. He swore those crystal blues could draw people's souls. "I'm doing good deeds for the name of God. So I want nothing, really, but to help you." Magnus said in his heart, _my lying skills has reached another level._

Alec looked him up and down doubtfully, yet walked along with Magnus when he strode out of the station towards the crappy light brown car that stole with his magic.

"Hey, can we grab something to eat?" Magnus hauled to a stop as Alec was clutching on his elbow. Even Alec was just a few inches shorter than Magnus, he found it hard to follow Magnus's rapid pace.

Magnus looked up to the sky, seeing the sun was right above their heads. He guessed Alec didn't eat last night, being locked up and all. So they wandered around the streets and found themselves a table in a relatively decent-looking diner.

Looking at the menu tentatively, Magnus heard Alec ordered fried and salad. Not really hungry, he asked for a cup of coffee.

"Where are you from? I can drive you there." Magnus definitely wasn't taking him back to New York City.

"Shoshone."

"…" Magnus couldn't remember if it was exactly the name of that small town he dropped Alec off.

Glaring at him, Alec added. "As in Idaho. But New York is my destination." Pumping the bottle, his fries were drowning in Ketchup.

"I'm sure you have family in Shoshone, right?" alarmed, Magnus asked. If Alec decided to travel across the nation and go to New York City, it would take him a lot of time. Well, he couldn't just open a portal and reveal the world he belonged to.

"I have a stepfather." Alec stuffed the fries in his mouth, like a squirrel. Magnus shook his thought away. "I think you should pay him a visit, at least say goodbyes." After he said so, Alec's body stiffened and he shot an unreadable glance at him, but soon resumed eating and murmured a 'whatever'.

Magnus thought, the boy that once so small in his arms had now grown into a man. Like his father, Alec was well-built. Though he was not wearing any form-fitting clothes, Magnus's sharp eyes could see the toned muscle under those awful black shirt with white stains on it.

_White stains._

Before Magnus put down his coffee and spoke, doe-eyed Alec asked. "Can I go back and grab my stuff?" Couldn't control himself, Magnus teased. "If your stuff means a piece of fabric like what you're wearing I would rather you're naked the whole ride."

Remarkably, Alec's cheeks reddened for his comment. He whispered, "I don't know a missionary can say things like this." A grin appeared on his always perfect face. Magnus didn't think the kid had the ability to blush, especially after the news that Alec used to provide special services…

Seeing Alec downed his cup of lemonade, Magnus slipped the ten dollar bill under the coffee cup and stood up from his seat. Noticed Alec showed no intention of following, he waved his hand. "Come on, show me the way."

* * *

Magnus couldn't count how many times he had sighed in the past hour. Alec led him to the shabby neighborhood far away from the heart of the city and they travelled through narrow and dark alleys, arrived at the place where Alec had resided for the past four years.

Junkies, junkies were everywhere. As long as Alec climbed the stairs (that building was way too ancient to be built after the invention of elevator), there was a guy with brown hairs and eyes greeted them. "Oh Alec, welcome back." He looked like a mess, fit perfectly into the surroundings. Everything in there was in a wrecked state. Alec was no exception. "Good day to you, Simon. Working late again?"

Just in time Simon yawned and stretched his muscle, nearly blending his body in half as his back ached forward. "Yeah. Didn't close my eyes for a whole 24 hours. I just returned from Starbucks to send those files."

"You have a computer?" Magnus inquired surprisingly. It was out of his anticipation that homeless boys would possess a high-tech product without being rubbed. Simon didn't notice him before, and turned to look Magnus in the eyes through his thick lenses.

"I know what you're thinking. I ran away from home with my baby – as I must reminder you I'm referring my laptop – and has been staying here since. Alec protects me every time some dudes want to steal my things. He is really good at fighting, a master of street fight club."

They reached the third floor, the long hallway was filled with rubbish. Magnus could see there was some needles with blood on it. _Gross_.

"I'm sorry though, Simon. I might not be here to help you anymore." Alec walked in the front, not stopping until he rested his hand on the handle of the door at the end. His worrying eyes scanning Simon, whom shifting uncomfortably and stuttered a response. "You're leaving?"

Alec nodded reluctantly. "I'm going to find my parents. Biological one. Remember those restaurants I told you earlier?" He opened the door, inside was nothing but a mattress on the floor, scattered around with some papers and tissues. Magnus followed them silently into the room, and almost cried out when he spotted some used condoms next to the unreasonably clean mattress. Some were tied up and white fluid content was trapped in it. _Praise the Lord._

Alec searched under the dark quilt and when he showed up again, a blue sack in his hand. He talked to Simon while going through his stuff, deciding which one he should carry with. "I saw some of them posting recruitment notice on their doors; they will provide you food and a place to stay if you're working there, fulfilling social responsibility as I heard. You should give it try." Magnus just stood there, sometimes shifting his weight from one leg to another, waiting for Alec. Simon shrugged and pushed his nerdy glasses up on his nose further.

"If that's so I wouldn't have time for my programming. You know, I earn more writing a program than I work my ass off in those diners for a month." Alec stopped his work, gazed at the distressing expression that was on Simon's face.

"I know. But at least you're far away from the gangs. Don't tell me you can fight them." Magnus understood that Alec was trying to be reassuring, to convince Simon that he had the need to find a shelter. It didn't work quite well, Magnus could tell from the fear in Simon eyes. In fact, in some degree Magnus would say Alec's words just scared Simon more.

"Yeah, no shit." Simon stormed out the room. He was fast; Magnus only caught a glance of his back running into another room down the hallway. Alec slumped on the mattress right after Simon's exit, bag dropped on the floor. Magnus thought he should say something to lighten the mood. "Are you two together?"

"What's your problem?" Alec hissed.

_Applause for the nice try. _Magnus continued talking as he examined the wall to find a clear spot to lean against. "So sensitive."

"He is straight."

"If he's not, would you guys be an item?"

"Shut up and let me pack then we can get out of here." Alec ran his fingers through his disheveled hairs, eyebrows furrowed in worriment. Suddenly Magnus wanted to see if those inky lines would ignite the same sensation as they were years ago.

Alec just threw random things into his bag – a box of candy, cigarettes, holey socks and jeans – and Magnus might have caught a sight of boxes of unused condom being tossed into. He tied a knot, threw the beg over his broad shoulder and without saying a word, strode out of the room that he had been living for the past years he spent in Seattle.

Before Alec could go down the stairs, Magnus gripped at his waist. "Not going to say goodbyes?" He seemed to be thinking, bangs covering his pair of lively blue eyes like a curtain. Magnus believed eyes were the soul of human being, it didn't differ from downworlders, shadowhunters or mundanes – the emotions hidden in those gleaming irises, a window to peak into a man's inside. The curtain was preventing him from knowing Alec's real emotions.

Alec chose not to have one more conversation with Simon. The history between Alec and Simon was none of his business, he just needed to focus on the fact that with his new identity, his mission was to drive Alec safely to New York.

_The rest of the plan would come to mind,_ Magnus thought.

Magnus wished they could roll on and use least time as possible to end this farce. Alec's life needed to get back on track, back to whatever shit he was doing. He couldn't care less Alec was a prostitute. It was harsh to say it, but he was just here to assure that Alec didn't get in touch with any mysterious creature that a mundane shouldn't have known in the first place. Alec was a mundane, not a shadowhunter. He might bear the blood of one; yet his fate was determined by many factors.

They walked in silence. Alec was fallen behind, as Magnus made the best use of his slender legs. The streets in the poor neighborhood was quiet and sometimes only a group of children he could see. Compared with the center of the city, this corner of the busy Seattle was a coffin for the dead. People living there might not be dead, but they survived like one. Rarely an adult would appear by their sides, asking if Magnus wanted to have fun. Those aimless eyes sent shivers from the bottom of his spine and he fastened his pace.

"Oh Alexander, here you are." A low voice sang in the back, Magnus swung his body around to find Alec was enveloped by two men, one blonde and one dark, both huge in size. Alec tried to bypass them, however, the blonde caught his waist and threw him against the wall while the other stepped in between Magnus and Alec with his eyes shining like a lion.

"We need some time with our sweetie, just a moment okay?" He threatened, using those polite phases to brush Magnus off. Magnus looked to Alec's direction, only saw him begging. "Don't… I don't do things like that anymore." The blonde's hand was sneaking under his shirt, and out of nowhere Alec yelped in pain and let his bag fell, both of his hands clenching at the man's biceps.

"Tsk, you're being a naughty boy. What should we do to punish you? Or your Simon?" While Alec lowered his head, bearing the pain from his side, Magnus spoke instead of the dark-haired man. "He's with me. And I suggest you not to touch him, as the consequence would be an extreme that neither of you could take."

The man in front of him cocked his head, examining the physique of Magnus. Snorted, he ordered. "Keep walking and we won't kick your sore ass." The blonde chuckled, while his hand was traveling down in Alec's jeans, the other pressed the boy to himself. The buckle undid, fly opened and revealed his bare skin. "Kinky." Then he bit the exposed side of Alec's neck, earning a tighter grips at his arms.

Magnus felt anger was swollen up in his body – Alec was like a doll being toyed with. The thought pained him as if Alec was his and people were violating his possession. He knew, the feeling was just the same like those two man, viewing Alec as one of his thing. But he would never do such to his lovers or partners. Even if he was rough, there was affection and pleasure. From his point of view, Alec got none of the above.

The dark haired man crossed his arms in front of his chest, waiting for Magnus to leave them at peace. What they thought wrong was that Magnus was a mundane. He was able to knock them out within a second, and indeed he did so. Just a snap behind his back, the two meatheads fell on the ground unconsciously.

Alec twitched his body, not letting the blonde bring him down while his face banged on the cold pavement. His eyes widened in awe, couldn't make sense of what just happened. Magnus could see the fear, like his parents –

"Stay close to me." He commanded.

Woken, Alec did his jeans and picked up the bag, ran next to Magnus. He rounded his arm on Alec's shoulder, holding him in place. During the walk back to his crappy car, Alec leaned in, tugged himself closer to Magnus, he even locked his arm around Magnus's waist, not willing to let out until he had to get on the shotgun seat.


	3. Chapter 2: Things You Can Do In a Motel

**Disclaimer:** All characters belong to Cassandra Clare and some scenes belong to the movie Transamerica.

**A/N: **Thank you guys for all your support :D It's one of my incentives to keep me writing. Hope you all enjoy this chapter.

* * *

**Chapter 2: Things You Can Do In a Motel**

It shocked Magnus that the old car could go that far without breaking down. They had been driving for hours and finally a motel came to their sights. The neo light was weak, unlike the stars blinking in the clear sky. It was kind of creepy – maybe Magnus had watch too much TV, but scenes from Psycho and Bates Motel kept flashing within his head. He banged his head on the dashboard, Alec looked at him as if he was nuts.

Alec explored a bit when Magnus went to the small office asking for a room with two beds. Luckily half of the rooms were occupied. It wouldn't stop the old lady if she was that determined to kill him, at least the fact provided him comfort.

Room 12, on the ground floor. Rooms lined up along the hallway in ascending order, so Magnus found the room pretty easy. The room was tidy and normal, no secret basement or space to hide a body. Alec wandered back with arms full of food from vendor machines, chips and cup noodles, mouth munching something. Although the old lady said dinner was included, Magnus didn't want to take the risk.

As Alec was showering, Magnus heated the noodles and started eating, while looking at the map to see where Shoshone was. He was sure now as the memory came back to him, he did drop off the young Alexander in Idaho, where a fellow Warlock resided in. Magnus couldn't spend too much time on tracking his life, so he paid the Warlock to look after the boy and delete his memory if necessary. Shadowhunters had their sight inborn, it was highly possible of Alec possessed it too.

_What is the name of that Warlock?_ Magnus knocked his head slightly with his fingertips._ Ah – Vincent._ A Warlock who had been living in Idaho for the past 50 years. He admitted the payment was just enough and Vincent only required to report Alec's latest status seasonally. Those reports were causally written, sometimes just two words 'nothing unusual'. Magnus should have known Vincent was not trustworthy. How in any way of a teenager ran away from home was 'nothing unusual'? Alec was gone to Seattle! Christ knew how many shadowhunters and downworlders were there. The second urgent task on his list was cutting his auto-transfer.

The sound of water running stopped in the bathroom, and soon Alec was out with a tight strip grey boxer, _nothing else._

Attention was in somewhere, Magnus didn't notice Alec's nearly naked state until he sat down cross-legged like him, leaned in to see what Magnus was reading. Their shoulders brushing, Magnus tried so hard to contain his desire to turn his head and appreciate his attractive form. Alec seemed to be ignorant about it.

"Give me a bite." Holding the plastic container, Magnus used his fork to get some noodles and lifted his arms to feed him. His pupils narrowed into a slit when Alec bowed and stuck out his crimson tongue, catching the noodles without touching the fork. Once he got a tip, he sucked the rest violently and went in his mouth within a second.

_Don't fall for it! _Inhaled a breath, Magnus turned his head away and scared that Alec would see his eyes, though he had contacts on. Magnus attempted to stay on track, planning on the trip and he avoided Alec's eyes with all his effort. Chewing, an inviting smile on his face, Alec asked. "What's wrong?"

He could feel Alec's chest was rubbing on his forearm, the metal base of the pendant causing goose bumps appeared on his tanned skin. Hands shaking, the hot water in the container was about to leak along his movements. "Leave me alone." Seriously, he didn't know how long he could contain himself. If Alec stayed this way, Magnus was going to fuck him into the mattress until he cried and begged for mercy.

Sensing his unwillingness, Alec got off the bed right away. The bed bounded when the weight reduced. Magnus could hear Alec pulled the comforter over his head, buried himself into it. He had been living for 800 years, still he couldn't fully understand people's behaviors. What exactly did Alec want to do, and what was he supposed to react? He shouldn't touch the _treasure of Lightwoods_, even he made the first move and he was going to be an adult in three months – if he remembered it correctly.

Magnus moved his feet and threw the container, sat next to the covered curling body. Thinking about what tone he should use, he whispered. "Come on."

Getting nothing, Magnus gave up. He was never good at dealing with kids or teenagers, not to mention how many times he tried to burn Clary alive when he was forced to be a babysitter. He simply couldn't figure them out.

Spared a glance at the clock, it's only 9 yet Magnus felt more tired than ever. He went for a quick shower, double-checked the lock, and blue sparkles flying around his fingers. Just a moment later a stack of ten dollars piled up neatly besides the sink. Held up his hands and staring at his nails, the glittery purple polish was no longer there. For Alec, he had to get rid of it because _normal mundane male_ didn't get their nails painted. An actor should have them removed if they struck for the best performance.

_It'll just be a week. _Magnus convinced himself.

Managed to slow down his heartbeat, he exited the bathroom and smiled when Alec was still in the same state covering himself up. After turning off the light, Magnus thought, _Good, I've survived another night._

* * *

It was just half past midnight. A rustling noise somehow woke him up, which was rare as Magnus had acquired the ability of sinking himself into deep sleep even when there were people screaming 'bloody murder'. In the dark he could see Alec with clothes on stalked to the door. Alec obviously wanted out without Magnus's acknowledge. He failed miserably.

Mundanes didn't have the right body structure to see through the dark, and Magnus just happened to have a pair of eyes like cats. It was the feature which distinguished him from a mundane, a monstrous trait that marked him as a warlock and gave the hint of demon blood running in his veins.

Alec turned the handle carefully. As he wished the door didn't make a sound. Sticking his head out, his eyes darted around. As long as he thought the area was clear, his body slipped out of the tiny gap and closed the door smoothly, completely unaware of the glowing eyes in the dark.

Magnus was struggling if he should follow him. One side of him was saying that Alec could be in danger, who knew there might be a serial killer hiding in the brush (or in the small office)? But another side told him not to, Magnus knew the cause of it. He was too drawn to Alec.

It had been many years ago, Magnus distantly remember later that night the Lightwoods were called by the New York Institute. Robert and Maryse escaped from the crashing tension in his apartment, couldn't get up the courage to see Magnus left with their baby. Young Alexander whimpered when his parents disappeared and threw his hands in the air trying to get hold of something. It cost Magnus some time and patience to calm him down.

"What I'm going to do with you?" He asked and let the question hung in the air. He weighed his options, and decided to deliver Alexander far away from New York, away from the parents who loved him so much that they would give anything. The necklace might cause trouble, but he would keep it. The pendant was gorgeous, shining like a diamond under the light. It was the only thing that linked them back with the boy.

Idaho popped up in his mind. Well, he was influenced by the film he watched the other night on the TV. It was near the other end of America. Phoned a few warlocks, Magnus was closely roaring in despair; many once heard Alexander was from the Lightwoods, the line immediately ended. Magnus was sure he had eaten enough lemons for the rest of his life.

Then Vincent showed up with a lemonade in his hand. He couldn't be more grateful for it as Vincent the Warlock with leopard print volunteered for the work, watching the kid and reported regularly to Magnus. Vincent listed some names around the place he stayed, and the Starkweather seemed nice – a single father who lost his wife and son in a car accident five years ago. According to Vincent, the man was still grieving for his loss. Magnus interpreted it as an act of love. In his imagination, Starkweather would treat Alexander like his own son.

Vincent needed time for preparation, therefore Magnus and Alexander slept in his apartment for the night. The next morning when Magnus opened his eyes, he saw a headful of ebony hairs laying on his chest. Alexander's breathing synced with his, drooling all over his shirt. It was one of his favorite, a plain glittery purple shirt. Yet he didn't regret it at all. He was even satisfied when Alexander's baby blue eyes gaped at his cat like ones, studying the stranger.

Magnus could get used to this. But it was not allowed. He brainwashed himself, Alexander was a mundane, and a mundane shouldn't know about the shadow world.

So Magnus let him go. He watched Vincent carefully held Alexander close to himself, his whole body swaying like a boat sailing on waveless ocean. Sucking at his thumb again, Alexander stayed quietly in a stranger's arms. Magnus suspected if a kidnapper snatched him from his parents, the boy wouldn't even make a sound. He trusted anyone who gave him a share of warmth.

When he met Clary, that spoiled brat cried her lungs out when Jocelyn dropped her off to his colorful apartment. She was just a few months old and she already had developed an alertness towards strangers. Jocelyn said it was common for shadowhunters, an instinct. But the young Alexander didn't have the same reaction like Clary when he was surrounded by two unfamiliar Warlocks, on the contrast he laughed quite often, especially when he looked at Magnus's eyes and tracing the skin of Vincent's arms.

Vincent was feeding him a bottle of milk, Alexander sucked it like he had starved for days. Magnus crossed his arms, looking back at the portal. "I should leave."

"That quick? I thought you'd like to spend more time with this sweetie." The milk was out in a rapid speed, with nearly half was gone during the short conversation. "No. Remember the plan?" Vincent nodded while slightly patting the boy's back.

"Good. Send me a message once it's done. I have a meeting at noon." Magnus didn't wait for a reply, directly went through the portal and back to his apartment. Just like that, it felt like a dream. Magnus prayed it wouldn't make its visit that frequent. He drowned himself into the preparation of battle, and later into work. It didn't occur to his mind why a baby would have such huge influence on him, he guessed it was due to his obsess of black and blue. The boy had it all. Alexander had his favorite combination.

Battling his feelings, Magnus chose not to track him down. He urged himself to sleep.

* * *

Magnus was woken by a slap on his face. He shot up to see Alec's annoying expression. "Finally. I thought you were dead." He was wearing the same clothing. The above average sensitivity of smell allowed Magnus to pick up the trace of sex. Although Alec looked fine, it was certain that he was involved in some erotic activities.

Couldn't suppress his curiosity, "Where were you last night?"

The pair of Carolina blue irises widened in shock. "I was here all along. I didn't go anywhere."

Lying, lying. "Alec, be honest with me." He hoped his judging look would let Alec spill the truth. Alec crossed his arms and stood up from the bed. "I'm being honest with you."

"You're repeating what I said. Come on, I'm no fool like the gangs you've met. It doesn't hurt to tell." Luring could be counter-productive, as Alec threw his hand in the air, blushing. "Fine! You want to know? I'm out getting fucked in the ass!" Silence filled and cooled the room that was heated up by the beams of sunlight trespassing through the curtains.

"And why would you do that?" Alec had said to the blonde that he didn't do_ that _anymore, didn't he? How come now he was doing this again?

"Why should you give a shit?"

"_I'm a missionary_. Please enlighten me." Magnus confronted, and his height gave him an advantage. Alec had to look up and his anger seemed to lower a bit because of the position. "I want money."

"Seriously? I vividly remember that you came back – " _Oh. Oh oh. _His body quivering as the coldness traveled under his skin. "The food."

Alec was fidgeting with the hem of his ugly tee shirt, seemed uncomfortable. After the unpleasant encounter with Alec's past clients on the street they barely talked. Magnus just switched himself into mute mode, kept driving, occasionally stopped for toilets. Alec didn't have much money when they arrived at the motel, and he was hungry. While Magnus was paying for their room, Alec must have found himself a client.

"I'm sorry. I should've known." What else could he do other than apologize? Next time he would be extra careful about this. Unlike his partners, Alec was a kid; a teenager that was poor and struggling to survive on a daily basis. Magnus didn't know how bad Alec's situation was, but sometimes back in New York, he got in touch with some prostitutes. They asked for food or a place to sleep instead of money.

"It's what I do." _No it's not._ Magnus would love to tell Alec that he was born to a shadowhunter family, and he was supposed to be a shadowhunter, chasing demons and law-breaking downworlders in the alleys of New York City to protect mundanes. He was supposed to train and kill, not hustling.

He wouldn't dare say it out. The promise he made with the Lightwoods constrained his freedom of telling. But years had passed and the shadow world was at peace again. Shouldn't Alec at least have the right to know his parents? He had sworn to Lilith that he would do anything to blind Alec's sight and stay away from the shadow world. However, was it necessary now?

_I need to talk with someone. _Magnus concluded. He couldn't bear any more impulse decisions in his life.

Alec sat quietly on his bed, waiting for Magnus to say something. Rays of lights enclosing Alec's muscular torso, projecting his shadow under Magnus's feet. He seemed so vulnerable and shattered, which based on the assumption that Alec wasn't broken in the first place.

Then he saw it. The hickeys on his neck. Those redden spots scattered and extended its reach below the collar, disappearing into his broad chest. How much Magnus wished it was him that marked Alec.

"Who is he?" Alec was stupefied by his question. Magnus himself, too.

Gritting his teeth, "Who is he?"

Alec gazed on the lamp on the nightstand between the two beds. "A guy." He spoke so low that Magnus could hardly heard him. He needed something more specific.

"What does he look like?" When he found the man, he was going to strangle him with a wire and throw his corpse into a lake tying a rock._ Lord grants him a painful death. _Magnus cursed inside.

"Just let it go, it's not a big deal." The indifferent tone of Alec goaded Magnus into fury, he shouted. "Not a big deal? You're only 17! He breaks the law and he shall be punished. Tell me who is he! Or you give me the room number, you can stay here." Magnus was token by his protectiveness over Alec. He shouldn't care so deeply about a boy who was going to leave anyway.

Minutes passed yet Alec didn't stutter a word. Magnus couldn't take it anymore, gathered his stuff, threw the key on the nightstand and burst the door open. Instantly attacked by the bright lights, he narrowed his eyes. It was about noon. Two rooms down three young men were sitting on the long porch chatting, a joint passing around.

"Wait!" Alec yelled behind him, ran out to catch Magnus. He turned his body slightly to the left and waited as Alec told him to, and by doing so he scanned the group observantly to find a flaxen haired guy winked at Alec while blowing smoke rings towards him. They exchanged a look, the guy licked his lips seductively.

Before Alec could get to Magnus, he already launched himself at the guy – he crushed the twentyish man into the ground and punched him in the nose by the time the man's friends pulled him away. "What the hell!" Covering his bleeding nose, the guy barked. His friends even pushed Magnus further away on his shoulder, sleeves rolled up showing their tattoos.

Alec grabbed his elbow, "He didn't mean to. We're leaving." His shaking voice indicated fear. The men was approaching closer. Truth be told, Magnus wasn't afraid of them; nevertheless he retreated and just in time the old lady announced her presence. "What is going on here young men?" She sounded harsh, somehow authoritative.

It was funny for a bystander when they just stepped back with respect and checked on their friends, leaving Magnus and Alec to explain. Magnus was still in wrath, so Alec answered. "Nothing."

"Boy, you better tell me the truth." She wasn't kind, that's for sure. Magnus calmed himself a bit and spoke up. "He had sex with a minor." Didn't provide any details, the old lady eyed between Alec and Magnus, then hummed nonchalantly. "Alright."

Watching the old lady shuffled back to her small office, Alec just dragged Magnus into the passenger seat and slammed the door so violently the whole car shook. "What the fuck were you thinking!" He was basically screaming, chest raising up and down swiftly. Magnus admitted the anger took over. Even he himself was surprised by his reaction. _This boy is bad news._ Magnus couldn't risk losing control like this, he was lucky this time that his true ability didn't show.

"He touched you." _That's enough, Magnus. Stay away from the boy, it's what you're supposed to do._

Sighed helplessly, Alec started the car and got on the road. Magnus rolled down the window, let his mind drifting off.

"I don't deserve it." The whisper was blown away by the bone-freezing wind.


	4. Chapter 3: Vincent

**Disclaimer:** All characters belong to Cassandra Clare and some scenes belong to the movie Transamerica.

**A/N: **Just leave you all a cliffhanger :D Next update should be on Fri or Sat. please reviews and tell me how you feel:)

* * *

**Chapter 3: Vincent **

They drove all day after the incident at the motel, only stopped for gas, food and call of nature. Magnus really needed someone to talk to, so when they passed a gas station, he shoved Alec some money, telling him to get some food for both of them while he went to the men's toilet.

He locked the stall and sent a fire message to Vincent, writing he was going to stop by as Idaho wasn't that far ahead. Then he called Clary.

"Magnus!" Despite of the lovely light tone of Clary, Magnus didn't get much relief. "I'm going straight to hell." Despairingly whined, he sat on the toilet seat not caring how dirty it was.

Clary accused him straightaway. "What've you done to him?"

"What makes you think _I_ have done anything to him?" Magnus defended.

"Because you blame yourself. Tell me, I can take anything."

Instinctively, Magnus joked. "You sure can." Clary sneered, "You're an ass."

_Yes I am._ Magnus thought bitterly. "I don't think I can do this anymore. Nothing good is going to come out from this…" Alec was driving him nuts. The Lightwood boy was like an art that was locked in the display cabinet, something Magnus shouldn't expect to have a taste of it, or even a touch. The fact that Alec was desirable didn't make it better.

Alec was an angel (half to be precise) that fell from heaven. His duty of being the child of angels should be nothing liked selling his body, everyone could have a piece of him as long as they offered a nice price. Magnus wouldn't treat him like this. He wasn't one of his clients and he didn't want to be one.

"Magnus, you have to. For the sake of the Lightwoods… you promised." He snorted in self-deprecation. Clary's reminder didn't help a bit.

"I do a damn well job about it, don't you think? 17 years on earth and he doesn't have any idea of the truth. Can't you see? It's not the problem!" Magnus thought Clary understood him, but clearly she didn't know him that well, no matter how she considered herself a close friend of his.

Evidently Magnus's outburst shocked Clary and her phone was stolen by someone, as the next line was coming from a male voice. "Sparkly Warlock don't vent your spleen on Clary, I'm warning you." Jace. Of course he was there.

"Sorry." His anger deflated, softened his tone. Everything went downhill since Magnus met Alec; He was like a pregnant woman whose moods were no different from a rollercoaster.

Clary took back her phone, said something to her husband then returned to the call. "Me too. Even?" Magnus was glad to find a girl like Clary, so forgiving once she called him a friend. "Yeah."

Out of blue Magnus didn't want to talk about the things between him and Alec anymore. He felt like it was one of those matters that should be sealed up in the Pandora's Box. Every time he tried to discuss it, his captivated emotions rushed out from the little box. He didn't realize the how eager he was to the idea of expressing his feelings.

"Magnus?" Alec's cautious voice echoed, Magnus muttered to Clary before he hung up. "I have to go. See you later."

He walked out of the stall to see Alec standing next to the sink, eyeing him with concern. "Everything okay?" Magnus washed his hands nonetheless. In the reflection, Alec looked older, like a man in mid-twenty, eyebrows furrowed as if it was his responsibility to care, to be bothered by leakage of emotions of Magnus.

Magnus thought, Alec was still the same baby he met 17 years ago. For Alec he was a mundane stranger who said himself a missionary from the church Institute, bailing him out, and kindly suggested a ride to New York without charging anything. Anyone would have doubted his intention. People knew the world wasn't that innocent. Yet Alec cared about him; a Warlock, a liar that could do whatever and whenever he wanted to him. He was way too virtuous and blinded to the dark sides of people. That's what, Magnus guessed, attracted him.

They had met for two days, and Alec trusted Magnus enough to share a room. Magnus knew Alec was going to get into trouble because of this. He couldn't bear the thought of people taking advantage of Alec, someone pure like this. What even worse was the Alec didn't learn; living in Seattle and fighting for his and Simon's lives should have taught him anyone could be his enemy.

Extracted a tissue from the machine and wiped his hands dry, Magnus responded. "Nothing to worry about. Let's go."

Alec didn't question him, simply followed Magnus and got back into the car, this time Magnus driving. After about half an hour of car ride, a sign writing 'Idaho' stood next to the road. Alec saw it too, and jerked his hands to the back, grabbed a snicker bar and started eating. Magnus focused on the road.

He could feel the glance from his right. It had been liked this as soon as they took off. So Magnus asked, "What?" It came out flat.

Alec stared at him for a while before he opened his mouth. "Who were you talking to?" He sounded puzzled, changed his position uneasily. "A friend, just to see how's things going back there." Magnus was panicking now. The question showed Alec had caught him on the phone, but how much did he heard? Subconsciously he gripped at the wheel.

Alec just glared at him, said. "Hum." Then he bit down the snicker bar.

Magnus didn't know if it was a threat, seeing Alec chewed so hard that his jaw became more angular. So he changed the topic. "Where do your stepfather live?"

This somehow triggered something in Alec. He nearly choked on the snicker and patted his chest. Magnus looked at him sideway, watched him swallowed the pieces down.

"You can't be serious." Alec's face darkened.

"Well, I told you back then. You should at least say goodbye to him. And Shoshone's on our way." Magnus explained.

"No it's _not._" Alec snapped for no reason. One of his hand reached for the seatbelt and unbuckled it, Magnus commanded. "Alec you better not." What he wouldn't want to see what Alec's body covered in wounds and slowly dying in a pool of blood. Unheard of his order, Alec pulled the car handle; Magnus's heart almost jumped out from his chest.

Lucky for Magnus but not for Alec, the door didn't open. No other plans, Alec pulled his wrist and Magnus only had one hold on the wheel. "Let me out!" He shook Magnus forcefully, went from commanding to begging. "Please just drop me here!"

Magnus tried his best to steady the wheel while hissing at Alec, "Stop it _Alexander_!" Just then Alec let go, holding his legs to his chest and buried his face between his knees. He breathed heavily, weeping.

Magnus wanted to die right at that moment. How come things turned so ugly liked this? He didn't know what he had done that caused such violent response. Alec was so small there, wrapping his hands around his torso to hold himself together. He looked like he wished to disappear and blend into the seat, becoming part of the non-living.

Magnus drove a bit further, stopped the engine when parked asides the road. "What was that for?"

"I'm not going back. Never." It's all he said, no explanation. The sun was setting, painted everything a shade of vermilion. Magnus had a bad feeling about it, still he went on. "Care to give me a reason?" Alec was definitely hiding something from him.

Burying his face, Alec just wiped his tears away. It was obviously a no. Sighed in defeat, Magnus sat there exhaustedly. And something happened that he was glad Alec didn't lift his head up.

A piece of paper appeared from nowhere landed on Magnus's lap. He quickly kneaded it into a ball and said. "I need some air."

He went to the back of the car, leaning on the trunk and spread the wrinkled paper.

_'Same place. Patiently waiting._

_Vincent.'_

Vincent. After seeing Alec's reaction, he was sure something went terribly wrong. When they met, he was going to ask why Vincent didn't say anything in his reports. And if Magnus didn't get a satisfactory answer, rumors would be heard. He could ensure that.

Sucking in the cold air, his mind clearer. He asked Vincent for a place to stay at night and told him to paint his skin natural. Because mundanes didn't have animal print all over their bodies, and Alec was a mundane.

Taking some deep breaths, Magnus returned to the car. Alec had himself calmed down, his red eyes following Magnus's movement, biting his lips to see what he's going to do next.

Magnus threw his hands in the air, stated. "We're not going to your stepfather's. I have a friend living around here, we can stay there for tonight."

Nodded, Alec closed his eyes and rested his head on the headrest. "Thank you."

* * *

Vincent lived at the outskirt of Boise, Magnus took some time to find his house since the last time he visited was through the portal. Following the signs, they arrived in front of a two story in Victorian style, walls and fences that circling the garden were painted in white for the idea of matching. It was dark when he pulled the car over near the entrance.

Inconveniently not a streetlamp could be seen; the only light source was coming from building, bright and warming. He could peak through the windows on the ground floor to see the living room. Dimming in lights, but simply decorated.

Alec's eyes inspecting the area as if he was a hound, body tensed in readiness. He was fidgeting, sometimes rubbing his neck to adjust the pendant – only then Magnus noticed the sapphire was gone – when they walked to the front door along the stone path. It was cute in Magnus's point of view, but it also made him nervous. He walked to the door and pressed the bell. Alec massaged his eyes besides him.

Not a while Vincent opened the door and flashed a smile once he saw Magnus and Alec. He welcomed. "Come on in. I got you guys something for dinner." Magnus returned the smile, and got in, knowing Alec would be right behind him. Vincent closed the door and when he noticed Alec, he acted. "Mind if you introduce me your boyfriend?"

Alec flinched at his words. Magnus raised an eyebrow and realized Vincent shouldn't supposed to know Alec, even if he did. It was nice for him to joke a little, Magnus could use a good laugh. "No. He's a friend, Alec."

Vincent held out his hand, Alec looked suspicious but still pulled out his hand from the pocket and met Vincent's in midway. "And this is Vincent"

The Warlock seemed normal, at least for a mundane. Slender and skinny like Magnus, but shorter, tanned skin with ginger hairs and a pair of milky dark olive eyes. His print was flawlessly covered by the fake tan. Alec wouldn't suspect a thing.

"Sorry for mistaking you as Magnus's boyfriend, you know, the hickeys. Um…"Vincent was shy and liked to keep things to himself, that's why he lived away from the melting pot. Magnus couldn't sense a downworlder within the town. Alec heard him, and instantly he threw his hand to his neck, rubbing his throat.

Magnus said. "It's alright." Even if rewarded a fortune, Magnus wouldn't admit how good he felt when Vincent said they were boyfriends. No he didn't feel good.

It was_ terrific_.

Scared to shitless, Magnus was drawn back to reality when Vincent patted his back, guiding him to the dining room which was at their left. Vincent whispered, "After dinner, my study."

Alec was already seated when they entered the room. The dinner was simple but delicious, Italian Magnus thought. Alec, as usual had eaten a lots. Magnus wondered if he had a stomach like a whale. He could tell Alec ate more than the sum of Vincent and him.

Hearing a loud belch across the table, Magnus saw Alec wiped his mouth with bare hands, then rubbed it off with his jeans. He pointed out, "Alec don't do that again, it's inappropriate."

Alec didn't mind much. "Take it or leave it." He proceeded to rest his head on his palm. Pouting a bit when Vincent took away the dishes to the sink. Magnus had eye contact with him and Vincent took the hint.

"Let me show you guys your rooms?" Vincent suggested kindly. They went upstairs, two doors were on each side. Vincent turned to the right, "This one is the master room, and guest room is further down, with the bathroom opposites. Just take one you like. I can sleep in my study."

"I can sleep with Alec. There's no need for you to do that." Vincent was generous, yet it didn't lower Magnus's guard towards him. He still remembered his unanswered questions about the reports.

However, it was Alec that declined his proposal. "I want to be alone tonight."

When Alec shared a motel room with him, Magnus thought Alec was being careless; but now he wanted to beg Alec to do that again. Vincent remarked. "It settles then. You can use the bathroom anytime you want." Just then Alec nodded and walked straight to the master room and locked it with a 'click'.

Vincent watched him with indecipherable expression, and mouthed. "Come."

Their moved to the study, sounds of steps on the floor were absorbed by the beige carpet. Once Vincent closed the door, Magnus secured it with a spell preventing eavesdropping. It hadn't changed much, still the same book shelves and working desk, potions placed by the window sill in different shades of yellow. Due to the specialty of Vincent, Magnus deduced most of them had something to do with memory. And that's also why Magnus chose him.

Magnus commanded. "You know why I'm here."

His lips pressed into a hard line, Vincent agreed and implied. "I know I should have informed you when Alec was out of my reach. You know, I did chase him down and tried to persuade Alec to come back, disguised as a random guy of course. But when I saw him and I just couldn't do it." His pupils constricted into small dots, shaking his head as if he was attempting to get rid of the memory.

Heart sunk to the bottom, Magnus dared himself to ask.


	5. Chapter 4: Unforeseen

**Disclaimer:** All characters belong to Cassandra Clare and some scenes belong to the movie Transamerica.

**A/N**: Next chapter something dark is coming.

* * *

**Chapter 4: Unforeseen**

Vincent sat properly on the chair and started the tracking spell on his blanket to see how Alec's doing. Magnus had paid him to do so, and he had been doing this for 14 years. It had become one of his routine, as reports were required. He didn't want to get too close to Alec, risking himself being discovered. So he used the tracking spell, simply checking up if Alec was staying under the roof of Starkweather. He had a ward set up which would alert him if there was any non-mundane crossing, made sure there would be absolutely no chance of Alec coming in contact with _someone_.

However, this time was different. The image in his head changed; Alec was lying in a backseat instead of his bed. It was about midnight, constant flashes of lights from streetlamps shedding on Alec's restless pale face.

It wasn't the paleness that scared Vincent. The blue and purple bruises were the ones that made his heart skipped a beat. The places the bruises covered were swollen up, which was nearly the complete left side of his face.

The image stopped there. Vincent didn't know what happened: Was he kidnapped? Or he ran away from home? The identity of the driver was unknown, this ignited the most pessimistic thought of Vincent – Alec was dying. Technically he was, but that's not what he meant.

He paced around his study, figuring out what's the next move. If only Alec knew about the shadow world, then he could have just opened a portal and rescued him. But it was out of the question. It wasn't going to happen. The whole point of his job was to keep Alec oblivious to their world.

To ensure Alec's safety, he used the tracking spell again, which happened to see Alec was in Boise where he lived in. Vincent jumped in joy. Alec was still in the backseat, but he was awake. Through the window Vincent observed the surroundings to find the car was parked in front of a clinic, one that Downworlders visited if they were hurt.

He squeezed in horror, and sent a fire message to the clinic before stepped in the portal. Within a second he was there in the backroom, the owner stood near the door. There was noises; groaning and banging, but soon silenced.

"What can I do for you?" She was just a mundane doctor whose connection with the shadow world was too complicated to explain. Vincent only heard some hearsays about her having an affair with a werewolf and his son got bitten by a vampire.

Then a man – a werewolf – came through the door, surprised when he saw the portal and Vincent. "He's sedated."

Vincent asked. "You are the driver?"

The man nodded, his face full of confusion. Vincent felt the need to clarify.

"Alec is – no, a client of mine wants me to look after Alec. He's not supposed to know us, anything about us. He shouldn't be here." The doctor was doubtful too, she inquired. "Why? He's a shadowhunter."

Vincent wasn't used to having conservations. He could write but when he needed to talk face to face, his tongue tied. "You, you shouldn't ask too much questions. I have an agreement with my clients. No more information."

The werewolf and Doctor shared a glance, then she walked out to help Alec. "Well, I'm not leaving him untreated like this. I haven't checked him up, but it seems he got beaten quite heavily." They walked into some kind of operation room, Alec was topless lying on top of the bed, bruises everywhere.

The Doctor checked on him, said. "Broken nose. Strangling bruises around the neck. Cracks on two bottom left rib bones. Some small and neat cuts on chest. Trace of tying on both wrists." Vincent sucked in a breath. He couldn't believe someone would do such thing to a lovely boy liked Alec.

The werewolf then moved forwards to undo Alec's jeans, Vincent stayed put. After the removal of clothing, Alec was completely naked, and the scene petrified the two downworlders. The Doctor steadily examined, reported with anger in her voice. "More fresh cuts on both inner thighs. Scratches on knees. Come roll him over."

The werewolf obeyed and stepped back, let her concentrate on work. "Slight rectal bleeding. And… give me some tissues please." She took it from the werewolf's hand, and wiped carefully around his entrance. The werewolf turned his head away, not able to look at Alec.

When the Doctor threw the tissues on the metal table, Vincent noticed there was not only blood. The idea of_ it _made him shivered.

The doctor took care of Alec's injury, while the two downworlders stood there futilely. Vincent asked. "Where did you find him?" Lilith, how much he wished this was just a dream. How could he explain and write it in the report?

"He was walking along the highway. He was crying, clothes skewed. I asked if he was alright; that poor boy just kept yelping, couldn't say a word. When I saw his face I decided to take him here."

It didn't give Vincent much of the idea of how Alec got hurt, but he was glad the werewolf helped him. "Thank you." The man waved his hand, showing it was okay.

At last the Doctor tugged Alec a blanket, whom curled himself into a foetal position, eyebrows knotted together as if he was troubled by his sleep. Something was haunting him, Vincent knew. Things went out of hands; this totally was not in their plan. Alec went away from Shoshone, having contact with downworlders. Magnus had said he could delete his memory if there was emergency. Vincent would need to wait for Alec to wake up, seeing if he remember who and _what_ he thought he was driving him here.

"I can't believe this." Ranting, she took off her blood-stained plastic gloves, angrily dumped them with the used tissues into the bin. Hands on both sides of her waist, she fumed. "That person is going to die painfully, at least I wish." Her eyes glistening flames, Vincent had never seen her this disgusted before.

"When is he going to wake up?" Vincent asked. There was no denial that it would be a lot of work to remedy this situation. Evaluation was needed to carry out.

The werewolf responded. "About an hour. I only injected him a small amount of sedative." The Doctor right after, "Physically he can leave once he wake up. But I don't think it's a good idea; he's obviously abused and raped. If not the latter, at least it was rough. I can't imagine how one can do such thing to a kid!"

Her rage came out and Vincent felt his knees weak. The Doctor could be powerfully dominant and strong sometimes. The werewolf came to her side and smoothed her back. "We will find him. Maybe the kid will tell us."

She whispered. "I hope so." Then leaned into the arms of the werewolf.

It had been three hours, but there was no sign of Alec waking up. Vincent started to think if the werewolf injected too much without himself realizing, which the Doctor objected his accusation, saying that her boyfriend had been helping her for five years. Even though, Vincent was not convinced. Alec was whining, sometimes heartbeats per minute increased to an unbelievable level. He was sweating despite of the uncontrollable quivering of his scarred torso. Hairs damp wet, the bangs stuck on his forehead.

The Doctor rushed to his side when his heartbeat fastened again. The werewolf stood by, waiting for orders. Vincent saw Alec's eyelashes vibrated, seemed like he was trying to open his eyes. He couldn't be seen. "I'm be in the next room."

The other downworlder nodded, spoke. "We'll tell you if anything new comes up."

Vincent retreated. Not later Alec's scream reached his room through the wall. "DON'T TOUCH ME!" It was mixed with fright and desperation, then there were sounds of metals crushed to the floor of tiles. A female voice shouted, "Hold him down!"

He couldn't hear anything except his own breathing. Alec was not doing well. From his reaction, he must have went through some terrible things. Vincent's heart twitched when he thought of Alec. It was his responsibility to look after the boy. Maybe it was not included in his job description, but he felt guilty of allowing people hurting Alec.

The Doctor didn't notify him until four in the morning. Her face clouded with solemnity, dropped her words staring into Vincent's eyes. "It's…"

* * *

"Starkweather?" Magnus's eyes widened, shocks travelled down his body. Vincent couldn't lift his head to meet Magnus, only nodded to the repetition of his own word.

He needed to sit down, but there was no chairs or sofa apart from the one behind the desk. Magnus wasn't sure he could make it that far, so he used the wall to support his weight and knees of which could give out at any time. Alec was only thirteen, and he was hurt by someone he trusted, no doubt. Alec was the type of person that wouldn't question people's motives.

And Magnus delivered him to the devil. It was Magnus himself that chose Starkweather. Vincent couldn't possibly know what the monster would do. Magnus didn't blame Vincent, as he knew too the Warlock couldn't spend all his time watching over Alec. Before they reached an agreement, Vincent had told him how he was going to monitor Alec's contact with the shadow world. Magnus approved it. Vincent couldn't get too close to Alec, and his work didn't include protect the boy from _mundanes_. All he needed to do was isolating him from the world.

_If there's someone to be blamed, it would be me._ Magnus thought.

Vincent continued talking, recalling the memory. "The Doctor told me that Alec didn't want to go back. He begged… to escape, that he wanted to be somewhere else."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Magnus asked feebly, he felt sorry for putting Alec into this kind of mess. Alec could have had a family with his parents, or fellow shadowhunters. He didn't necessarily have to experience those_ things_.

Vincent cast his eyes downwards. "It's his request. He wanted us to keep our mouth shut, we promised not to call the police, even. You can relax if you're afraid Alec knows about us; he doesn't. I've checked and he doesn't have a slight idea of his savior is a werewolf.

"He wanted to go away, so the Doctor suggested him Seattle because her vampire son Simon lived there. She said Simon would love to do that, helping us watched over Alec."

So the kid Alec had feeling for was a vampire. "Simon. Simon can walk in days. I met him when Alec went to pack his things. I'm sure the sun was there."

"He's a _daylighter_; I heard that he drinks from some shadowhunter and equips the ability to do so." Well, that explained a lots.

"I know I should inform you, but I feel like it's the betrayal of Alec's trust. He had us swore. I'm sorry." Vincent was a young Warlock, comparing with Magnus. He looked nervous liked a child broke the vase and waiting for punishment.

Magnus closed his eyes. This trip was nothing like he imagined. A life, he considered was peaceful, was actually with misery and agony embedded in its roots. While he was working in his apartment, Alec was suffering from pain, pain that imposed on him by someone he knew, he lived with for years. He found it was a miracle that Alec was still able to trust people after what the Starkweather bastard had done to him.

That's what made him an angel, Magnus supposed, believing that everyone was innocent until proven guilty.

"Please don't seek revenge." Vincent trembled. Magnus then realized blue sparkles were flying around his body, burnt a hole on the light blue wallpaper. He calmed himself down, clenching his fists. "Could you?" He mocked.

Vincent answered honestly. "I couldn't. But what can we do? Reveal ourselves? The Clave would have known if we do something. It was not that simple."

He was right. Nothing was simple. Alec was not under the Clave, the Lightwoods didn't mark him and notify the authority. Even if the Clave acknowledged Alec was a shadowhunter, in order to punish Starkweather there had to be a trial and collection of evidence, most importantly, the testimony of Alec. Then all the efforts would be gone; the promise he was bound to keep, too.

He couldn't do it himself either, as it was a piece of cake for trained shadowhunters to know what kind of damages were done by downworlders. If so, he would be arrested and sentenced. Neither of them had good endings.

"So we just let it go." A question that not required an answer.

"I can do something with his memory, if you want me to." Vincent added. "Maybe then he wouldn't suffer that much. Ignorance… could be a good thing in some circumstances."

However, Magnus refused. He wasn't an expert on memory spell, but by what Vincent had told him, the risk of erasing memory was that no one could be sure how long the validity period was. There were cases of people's memory surfacing after time, ranged from a week to years. Those patients would suffer from severe headache and nausea, some had developed delusion. Most of them, would be dead due to malnutrition (as they couldn't eat much) and went crazy. They lived like those people in the neighborhood of Seattle, lost in souls but carrying on surviving only because of human instinct.

Many years ago he thought it was worth it having Alec's memory erased in order to keep his promise. But now… He couldn't do that.

"Leave it." Vincent wanted to protest, it seemed. Yet Magnus held his hand up to stop him speaking. "From now on your service is not required. Alec's coming with me." Said Magnus. He then walked out the study and went for the guest room, leaving Vincent behind. His hairs on the back suddenly stood up.

He strode to the master room, knocked lightly. "Alec, you here?"

The door opened smoothly, Alec's blank face appeared. "You need me?" Seeing Alec was okay, he threw his thought away._ It must be my imagination._ Magnus smiled for the first time in two days, "No, just check up on you. Go to sleep, tomorrow we'll be leaving after breakfast." Alec hummed in acknowledgement, beautiful blue eyes lingered on Magnus while he returning to the guest room. Magnus only heard the door shut after he went into the room.

If Magnus was writing a memoir, this night was the worst of his life, even the day the Lightwoods die couldn't compare.

Earlier that night Vincent just told Magnus the cruel truth of Alec being… Magnus couldn't say it out. He felt ashamed of himself and sympathetic towards Alec. It was him that pushed Alec into the arms of Starkweather. It was him that Alec had to bear the pain. The guilt was eating him alive.

And Simon was a fucking vampire. How could he not notice this when they met? His common sense told him seeing a vampire under daylight was impossible, so he ignored all the indications. Four years, Alec had been with contact with a vampire, basically lived together. His promise to the Lightwoods was nothing but lie.

He rolled over the bed. It bounced when he landed on the center, a smell of fresh lemon filled his nasal cavity. It was nicer than the one he slept in the motel, but Magnus didn't expect much of a good service if he paid a hundred for one night.

Closing his eyes, Magnus's mind was still clinging on the thought that Alec had been through hell because of his mistakes. Starkweather, he was going to let him pay.

Having an insomnia wasn't an enjoyable thing, especially Magnus was tired physically, but not mentally. His brain kept imagining how helpless and desperate Alec was when Starkweather reached out his hands, when he forced himself into the fallen angel. How Alec had cried for mercy and wished someone would come to his rescue. Yet none of it had happened, not before Alec ran away from the monster.

A knife stabbed on Magnus's heart, and twitched it brutally. Lying on the foreign bed, he thought of all the possibilities if he hadn't resist his feelings towards Alec. If he watched Alec closer, this might not happen.

But time travel didn't exist. The capacity of a Warlock was not as powerful as people thought. Nor spells or potions allow people rewriting the past. It was a thing that not anyone could touch. All they could do was learn and move on, not letting the guilt consumed their souls and dimmed their brightness. That's what Magnus was going to do. He wouldn't let the emotion bring him down; the other way around, he was using the best of it as a reminder to himself.

He made a promise. To Alec, also himself.


	6. Chapter 5: Hidden Memories

**Disclaimer:** All characters belong to Cassandra Clare and some scenes belong to the movie Transamerica.

**Warnings: Graphic description of sexual content and mention of rape.**

**A/N:** Every name has its meaning.

After this chapter things will be lighter, I swear :(! Review please.

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**Chapter 5: Hidden Memories**

Two bodies intertwined on the king size bed. Vincent was hovering over Alec's muscular torso which partially covered by strips of fabric. Lower half naked and his hip moving up and down, Vincent thrust fiercely into the boy. Alec was in a weird position; he laid on his left side, back facing the door with each hand bonded to two different bedposts. His ankles were tied together, being put asides. It was tight; Alec grasped the ropes firmly, knuckles turned into pale white.

Vincent could hear his subdued begging through the gag. Hands on his pale neck, he could end his life within a second. Alec shook his head when Vincent started humiliating him, "You want more_ Alexander_?" The boy was a piece of heaven. When Magnus went through the portal with the baby in his arms, he didn't give much of a second thought. It was a baby, not a big deal.

But there was something developed as he watched Alec growing up; Starkweather did take good care of him, treating him like his own son. He was taller than his peers, more muscular, polite and always smile to everyone he passed despite of the shyness.

And innocent. Alec matched his every imagination of an angel.

Vincent pulled out and circling his thick shaft around Alec's red and swollen entrance. "Look at me, _Alexander_." The boy did it obediently, teary crystal blues stared into his stormy olive greens. Even if Alec was not a shadowhunter, Vincent would believe without doubt if people said the boy was an angel.

Quickly pushed back in, he sighed in delight as the muscle tightened around his member and relaxed following Alec's rate of breathing. The wall seemed to be alive. The warmth and constant gripping gave Alec the power to let any men fall, Vincent thought. Chuckles escaped from his lips; Alec threw his head back and pulled the ropes that restrained his movements, biceps noticeably visible. A tear slid from his eyelashes when he shut them fast, eyebrows furrowed in torment.

It was a beautiful sight – having a fallen angel pinned down underneath himself. The sweat shined on the porcelain skin under the fondling of moonlights, Vincent appreciating the view when he kept his vigorous pounding. Pleasures washing over him as if it was water falling non-stop on his body in a shower. What excited him more was seeing Alec in pain. His wrinkled nose and flushing cheeks, the sounds caught in his throat when Vincent pushed harder into the flexible body, which quivered every time Alec took the every inches of him.

The accident happened four years ago, when Vincent was enjoying his night with the sweet angel. As usual he knocked the boy out of consciousness when he walked home after school. He carried Alec in bridal style, like the very way the first time they met. There are differences, but the sensation it created hadn't changed at all.

The peace on Alec's face evoked his desire to destroy. Such chaste being wandering around him, how could he resist? How could anyone? Alec was pure, unlike himself. Maybe it was his nature to demolish wonderful things and drag Alec down into the hellish fire pit with him. His demon side dominated, the fear in the blues only aroused him; Vincent wanted a taste of angel, something that was completely opposite of him.

He was finished with Alec, about to patch him up and delete his memory,_ just like old times_. Then some client called him about the potion he made, yelling that it was not working. Sunset was coming, Vincent thought the problem would be solved easily so he used a simple sleeping spell on Alec.

But when he returned to the master room an hour later, as the client kept ranting about his inefficiency, Alec was gone, left the originally sealed window opened. Panicked, Vincent peaked his head out of the window, hoping to see Alec was not far away. Sadly, there wasn't even a moving shadow.

He then quickly rushed to his study and took out the white blanket from his drawer, the one that wrapped baby Alec, tracking him down. He groaned in anger – the boy was at the clinic owned by a whore doctor screwing with a werewolf, and because of her cocky attitude her son was bitten by a vampire whom she refused to help.

Snorted, Vincent hurried to the clinic. Just like what he had told Magnus, Alec was sedated. But he didn't stay put. He kindly offered his magic after the whore checking up on Alec. They thought Vincent was healing Alec; he did, while also erasing his memory and additionally, putting a new one in his head. Everything related to him would vanished. He smiled when the green glows disappeared on his fingertips.

After Alec woke up, he was asked by the werewolf if he knew who did it to him. And of course, his stepfather's image would occur to his mind.

Starkweather was his scapegoat.

Then Alec said he wanted to go to Seattle. Seattle, Vincent laughed inside. Even if Alec was away from the town, he could always find him.

At first he thought it would be difficult to approach Alec with the company of Simon, the vampire son of the Doctor. But it seemed things had their ways of doing; Alec was selling his body for money. So he paid constant visits, using a spell disguised as some guy looking for sex. Alec wasn't picky, he would do anything as long as the price was reasonable. A hundred for everything.

During his time in Seattle Alec had gained some weights, become taller and thicker. His board shoulder blades were made to hold against, Vincent dreamed. He was stunningly handsome, angular jaws with a few stubble, indicating that Alec was growing into a man, not a kid or teenager anymore.

Vincent grabbed the forgotten blade on his right, cut the bondage on Alec's ankles. He separate his feeble legs and put each on his side, boney fingers scratched the slightly bleeding neat cuts masked most of the tender soft skin of both thighs.

"Aaaaarrggh! Mmm…"

Earning another nasal sob, Vincent could felt the body under his hands tensed, outlining the muscles. If Alec was born in ancient world, he would be an object of sculptors. The strength it held, the potentials. But now the strength was _his conquest_.

But he saw the hickeys that coated his skin. A flame of jealousy burning inside of Vincent. The boy was carrying other people's marks.

Alec was panting, voice cracked within his throat. Being pushed upwards due to the robust thrusts, his head was about to bang the headboard. Vincent pulled him back, the hot rod drove in and out of his soft entrance. Vincent didn't bother to prepare Alec, just forced his way in when Alec fainted a bit after his back slap. There was blood, but not much. It felt like it was his first time with Alec, the cherry popped by himself, not others.

Vincent wondered if Alec was enjoying this, as his cock didn't get hard. But how could he explain the sucking of his hole? He knew that Alec had been working as a prostitute in Seattle, thinking of others had been inside of his angel, he pounded harder, faster like a piling machine operating in maximum speed. Alec was moaning, eyes widened with tears falling down. His body arched upwards, kicking his legs trying to fight him.

Sneered, Vincent grabbed the backs of his kneecaps and bended them to the boy's shoulders, he leaned in to hold Alec in his arms, trapping the free legs in between. The new position granted him a better access, drilling deeper and right on the spot. He moved a few times, and when he saw Alec's eyes rolled to the back of his head and heard a moan full of delectation, there was his target.

He was going to abuse his prostate, humiliate him and destroy him. _Just like old times._

Planting hickeys to cover the old ones, Vincent moved his mouth upwards to trace Alec's jaw. Its rough surface stung his soft flesh. Kissing the forcedly parted lips, "Promise not to scream when I remove it?"

"Uh, uh. Hhmm – hm!" Alec was still drifting in the involuntary ecstasy. He sunk his sweat-soaked head deep into the pillow, shaking his head while swallowing his over secretion of saliva. "Oh? You like the gag?" His angel hummed in protest, but turned into a series of short wails as Vincent railing into the never satisfied hole. Their foreheads touching, Alec let out some nasal sounds before his voice weakened.

It was a sign of Alec losing his energy. Vincent looked at the clock, only fifteen minutes had passed. "_Alexander_, you were able to last longer before. What happened?" Vincent interrogated. But Alec didn't give an answer; instead he turned his head away, as if smelling some bad breaths.

Vincent fumed. "If you like it rough you could've told me." His hands fled back to Alec's neck and gripped it harder, cutting the air to his lungs. The soulful eyes half-lid, ropes pulled straight as Alec tried to reached for the Warlock. Vincent kissed away a tear, whispered. "Let me mark you as mine…" His movement erratic, messy as his pelvic muscle tightened, signaling the incoming climax.

He released all inside Alec, groaned loudly while hugging the stiff body close to him, drowning himself in the pure pleasures. He filled his angel again, only the thought of it could bring him another orgasm.

Buried his face between Alec's neck, it was one of his favorite activities he would do with Alec. The pulse reminded Vincent he was living, not an empty shell with no purpose in life. Having Alec by his side, he sighed in contentment. Shattered, he rested on top of Alec, listening to his uneven breathing and the small choking sounds.

Regulating his breathing, Vincent got back up and untied Alec. His bruised wrists feebly fell down on the sheet once the bonds were loosened. Removing the gag, Alec moved his sore mouth, eyes till shut. Vincent kissed lightly on his crimson red lips, purred. "You've done well, _Alexander_."

Alec mumbled, "Thanks." His chest rise up and down heavily. Vincent was on his side, and an idea came to his mind when he saw Alec's erection. He caressed the soft skin, moving from the collarbone to his stomach, reached further down to grab the hard-on.

The boy yelped as Vincent used too much force. He then did it lighter, pumping the member. Alec was taken aback by his action because Vincent had never done such. In the past Vincent would leave Alec on the bed recovering from the rough sex. Alec exposed his side neck when he moaned happily, hip moved upwards and thrust into his hand.

Not long after Alec came with a shiver, loads landed on his stomach. Vincent bended to lick them into his mouth, tasting the sweetness of the fluid.

Birds were squawking outside, Vincent knew it was the cue of him leaving. He pecked a wet kiss and started to dress, ordering. "Money's on the table. You can stay til noon. I'll see you next time?"

Alec watched him with weary eyes, nodded after the sentences.

* * *

Vincent couldn't breathe when Magnus sent him a fire message, saying he and Alec was going to stay at his place for a night. He was thrilled, but at the same time frightened that Magnus had dug out something. Fortunately, he was just passing by. The idea of meeting Alec had Vincent erect. The boy he had spent many nights with. Involuntarily he licked his lips while recalling the nectarous taste of Alec. The black haired boy was a wine that he was willing to be addicted to. No side effects, after all.

The expression of Magnus was funny when Vincent purposely misunderstand their relationship – he knew that look.

He controlled his rage, despite the obvious fact of Magnus was drooling over Alec, a puppy seeking for attention. Alec, somehow had developed his dependency on Magnus. Everyone with eyes could point that out.

He wanted to remind Alec who he belonged to. The thought of sneaking into the master room and touched his angel came to his mind million times since Alec appeared on his doorstep. Yet he couldn't, not when Magnus was present.

Therefore, he stayed in the study, masturbating to his memories in those hotel rooms.

Rounding his hand into a circle, he slowly thrust in and out thinking about the time he fucked Alec in the balcony, the time he slid his dick into Alec when they were showering, the time Alec screamed in agony and enjoyment, came by the electric shocks the dildo sent to stimulate his prostate without touching himself at all – all those sweet memories…

Alec was crossing the road, walked among the jammed traffic of a typical morning. Vincent watched him got to his side of the road safely, and further walked back to the filthy and poor neighborhood. He was wearing a simple hoodie, mostly borrowed from some of his clients as it was white, a color that Alec didn't wear much.

The street was quiet and dead, Vincent would have thought he was in a ghost city, if had he not visited this place so many times. He silently followed Alec, who limping awkwardly. Having a good opportunity, he muffled Alec's mouth and grabbed his chest from behind, threw him into a hidden alleyway linked to the street. Alec yelped when his bottom touched the ground.

The lights couldn't reach into the alley, but it was bright enough for Vincent to see the panic in Alec's eyes. His fear soon faded when he recognized the face.

"_Bobby_, you scared me." Alec didn't sound angry, more like a parent complaining to his child with the initiative of caring. Vincent stood in front of Alec, looked down at the 16-year-old boy trying to get up from the cold ground. Pushing his shoulders down, Alec sat back on his ankles and lifted his head to stare at Vincent with a perplexed expression.

"Stay." He ordered.

"I have to go. Maybe next time? I'll make up it to you." Alec pleaded with his puppy, pellucid blue eyes.

Vincent said while fondling his jaw, thumb rubbing the flushed cheek. "No. I want it now." Alec looked at the entrance of the alley, entreated. "Please, _Bobby_. I'm not feeling well right now." Indeed the boy looked pale, the circles under his eyes didn't match his features. But Vincent didn't care; he wanted him, and he would, right here.

"I can find someone else who can please me anytime I want. Go home then, _Alexander_." Body turned and expectedly, Alec's fingers seized the hem of his jacket.

It was a game that Vincent always won. "Don't."

"If you don't want it I'll be on my way." Vincent looked over his shoulder to see Alec biting his bottom lip. Alec muttered with his head down, bangs covering his eyes. "I want it."

"Uh? No need to force yourself, _Alexander_."

Then Alec's hands moved up to get a tight hold on Vincent's hip and swung him around. Once Vincent's crotch brushed against Alec's mouth, he spoke again.

"I want it. Give it to me." Vincent was sure Alec could feel the large bulge inside his pants. He dictated. "No hands."

Alec waited a moment, before putting his hands on Vincent's thighs, using his teeth to nip the zip. Stroking Alec's neck, Vincent watched Alec moved his head down to open the fly and licked his underwear when he gained the access to. There was no belt, Vincent thought it would be easy for Alec to strip him. But no, Alec even bit and pulled the soft fabric like a lion ripping the flesh of its prey, sometimes groaned in annoyance.

"The button, silly." Followed his guidance, Alec twitched his tongue to undo the button above the fly, and successfully the pants slid down his legs. Vincent loved it when Alec trying so hard to please him, kissing his thighs and hipbone, leaving traces of wet lines.

Moved to one side, Alec pulled the underwear down a few inches, then he did the same to the other side until the piece of clothing joined the pants, fell on Vincent's feet. His thick member jumped out of the restrain.

Alec swallowed his spit. Every time Alec would be daunted by his excited state, feeling it was impossible to take it all. However, it had been proven so many times that his body had no problem with it, it just needed some time to accommodate.

Soon Vincent felt a warm mouth sucking on the tip gently, tongue licking the edge of it. He hummed in encouragement, watching Alec opened his mouth and dug forwards, taking half of him. Suddenly a shot of pain went through his body; Alec accidentally rubbed his teeth on his member. He pulled the raven hairs strongly that Alec yelled in agony, hands flee up to catch Vincent's wrists.

"_Bobby_ – "

"What have I told you?" Vincent backslapped him across the cheek, his head blew to the side. "I thought you've learnt from the last time,_ Alexander_."

"I'm sorry. Give me a chance! I promise I won't make mistakes again, I promise!" Despite of the pull from Vincent, Alec pushed himself back in and slid the fully erect shaft into his mouth. Vincent could feel the breaths on his groin, knowing that Alec was taking his full length, trying the hardest to hold back his gag reflex. His throat enclosed the member and contracted, sending shivers to the bottom of Vincent's spine.

"Mmmmhhhhh." Alec moaned, nails clutched into the muscles as his lungs screaming for air. Vincent moved his hip backward, giving Alec a second to breath before thrusting in. Grabbing a fistful of black hairs, Vincent held Alec in place with one hand to fuck his mouth, the other touched his front neck to feel the presence of his member deep in the throat.

Vincent admired the fallen angel kneeled in front of him, his cock disappearing into the red lips. Eyebrows furrowed in discomfort, Alec opened his mouth wilder for Vincent. Feeling himself was about to hit the climax, Vincent finished it with a few heavy thrusts, each time almost knocked Alec over and finally, pressed the boy into his groin.

"MH!"

His seeds went all the way to Alec's throat. The boy choked, hands reached to Vincent's trying to let him loosen his grips. After making sure Alec had swallowed it down, he released him.

Alec coughing with a hand smoothing his throat, while Vincent dressed himself. Vincent took out a ten dollar bill, held it out to Alec whom had stood up on his feet. Using the sleeve of the hoodie to wipe his swollen mouth and tears, Alec took the bill from Vincent, eyes casting down.

Vincent combed the inky hairs of Alec, putting the hood back to his head. "Be a good boy, _Alexander_." He left without taking another look at him. The Warlock knew he had crushed Alec from the shaking of his hands and the trembling lips.

He recalled those memories whenever he couldn't make the time to visit Alec. Even the memories could cause his arousal and a burning desire. Vincent wondered how someone could be so tempting, with the contradiction of sultriness and purity, had the capacity of switching his role from a trollop to an angel in a blink of an eye.

Vincent rolled his eyes to the back of his head, pressures accumulating around his lower abdomen. With the imagination of his hands was Alec's mouth, he was coming close. And the name slipped through his mouth.

"_Alexander_…"


	7. Chapter 6: Opening of a Heart

**Disclaimer:** All characters belong to Cassandra Clare and some scenes belong to the movie Transamerica.

**A/N:** Camping time with Alec and Magnus. Reviews please :)

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**Chapter 6: Opening of a Heart**

The next morning Magnus was woken by a slap. Again, it was from Alec, who looked indifferent, seemed totally used to Magnus sleeping as a dead man. He rubbed his sleepiness away, watching Alec walked out from the guest room without saying a word.

Breakfast was served, even though Magnus had insisted they had overstayed their welcome. Vincent didn't seem to mind; he made some sandwiches for them on the road. He was determined to be a good host.

Sometimes on the table Magnus would catch Vincent's glare toward Alec. Odd, but he didn't comment. Alec almost ate everything with his enormous stomach, stuffing food in his mouth without swallowing the precious bite, like he was scared someone would take it away from him.

Noticed the circles under his eyes, Magnus asked with concern. "Didn't sleep well?" Alec licked his lips and put more food in his mouth, shook his head. Then he glanced at Vincent quickly, not his face but his body – that had Magnus's curiosity stirred up. Was there something between them? Did Alec discover something weird, or remember he used to cuddle with an animally printed man that had features like Vincent?

_Don't overthink. _Magnus reminded himself. For all relationships, _over-anything_ was the cause of death.

Alec rubbed his palms once he was finished, still chewing. Magnus then put down his fork and announced. "We should go." The three of them stood up, Vincent led the way to the front door and held it for them.

"Enjoy your journey!" Vincent cheered. Alec, however, didn't feel the joy of it. He even shrunk his body when he passed the Warlock, nose wrinkled. At that moment, the smile on Vincent's face assembled the one villains wore in dramas or movies: sinister, bloodthirsty and repellent.

A hand grabbed his elbow, Alec was hunching forward to him. Magnus waved goodbye and they walked to their car, prepared for another long day of driving. Once they got in, Alec let out a long breath, buckled the belt and sat properly, again adjusting his pendant. Magnus figured it was an act of relaxing himself. For Alec, the pendant possessed the power of reassurance.

Thoughts filled his head, Alec said. "Are we not leaving?" Magnus turned to meet his glance – the pair of astonishing blues was glistening in care. Gave a small smile, he got on the road.

The driving was boring, dull and tiring. The crappy car he stole didn't have a CD player, the same country song was rewinding in every radio channel. Eventually Magnus stopped the annoying device and tried to start talking with Alec, hoping to know the 17 year old better.

But his words were strangled in his throat. Feeling the heaviness of eyelids, Alec too fought hard to stay awake, though he didn't have to. Sometimes his head would bang on the window, made both of them jump a bit. It was kind of hilarious, if it wasn't last night's dramatic event temporarily shut down Magnus's sense of humor. Magnus wanted Alec to rest. Yet it was Alec who spoke.

"I've this weird feeling," He cocked his head to Magnus's side, "that I've been here before."

An eyebrow raised, Magnus doubted. "Boise?"

"I don't know… _your friend_ house is familiar. The bedroom and the garden." Alec's hand was sandwiched between his legs, speaking into the air like Magnus was absent. Did Alec remember the time he was in Vincent's house when he was only a few months old? Bedroom and garden – why this two particular places?

Magnus asked carefully. "Is that why you didn't sleep well?" The teen opened his mouth as if trying to say something, instead he sucked in a breath. Only after a brief moment, he said. "It's stupid. Forget it."

He could see Alec was severely troubled by it. And sharing his thought to Magnus had a significant meaning, it meant Alec trusted him. He wouldn't let him down.

"I won't laugh."

Alec's slightly scarred hand was touching the base of the seat, pulling out some strings. "He scares me." It took a person a lot of guts to admit their fears, especially for those who lived on the streets. Exposing your weaknesses led you to your dead end.

"Vincent?" Knowing it was silly to ask, but Magnus wanted to ensure 'he' referred to the Warlock. It only confused him more when Alec nodded. Alec continued, "He is familiar, too. I felt like I know him. The smells, the colors, the bedroom. Everything was. And last night I couldn't close my eyes because if I did, the walls were closing on me and I couldn't breathe. It was suffocating."

Magnus was glad that Alec took a step forward, but not so for the content. Questions flooded his mind, what were those supposed to mean? Was his memory playing with his head?

"Just forget it." Alec's breathing fastened when he recalled the night. Rolling the window down, the breeze blew their hairs messily, smell of grass filled up the space. Magnus wanted to take a good look into Alec's eyes, to understand the subtle message behind those words. Judging by it, Alec was disoriented and couldn't get rid of the annoying feelings of knowing nothing.

Magnus thought what Alec needed now was logic, something mundanes believed in. "Well, I've seen a lot of cases like you. A déjà vu." Giving a reasonable explanation mundanes would find themselves relieved and moved on. Magnus discovered from years of observation.

"You mean like, I dreamt about the house before and last night I saw it, so I feel familiar?" Alec inquired confusedly.

Hummed in agreement, Magnus nodded. "Yes."

Alec replied an 'okay' in incredulousness.

It was already afternoon when they stopped at a gas station near a small town in Utah, not far from the border of Wyoming. While Magnus was refilling the tank, Alec studied the map leaning against the door. His energy regenerated, napped after their weird conversation. Magnus wanted to compensate his mistakes, wanting to treat Alec better simply because the teen deserved to be. In his opinion teenagers should be living freely out of restraints, searching the meanings of life and preparing for their futures.

"How much do you get per assignation?" Magnus said randomly while washing the windshield. Alec didn't bother to look up, focused on the map but answered nonetheless. "Why?" Magnus couldn't hear much from his monotonous tone. "Measuring your quality of living."

Alec didn't reply immediately. Waited a few seconds, he said unconcernedly. "It depends." Water sliding down the glass with white bubbles. Magnus could tell Alec was unwilling to discuss, therefore he dropped it.

Back still facing Magnus, Alec spoke. "Why do you believe in God?" A question that he hadn't prepared an answer for, and was a test of his creativity and adaptability. _Remember what the cute Mormon said. _So he started his speech of trusting the Almighty.

"God gives me power and he creates all the wonderful things for us to appreciate. It supports me through _my hard time_. He loves his children." Of course, he wouldn't say what kind of hard time it was – it involved a religious mundane and a Warlock doing normal daily activities. During the process, the Warlock might have said something like 'Let me punish you in the name of God' or 'Thank God it is you that knock on my door'.

Alec's eyes were fixed on the map, mumbled a whisper that Magnus couldn't catch.

"Pardon?"

He got a shrug from the teen.

Magnus was finished with the washing, so he picked out the container with Vincent's sandwiches in from the backseat, grabbed a piece and tossed it across the hood. "Leave me some, alright? I have to eat too."

As if doubting him, Alec eyed his skinny body and took one out, map being put asides. They ate in comfortable silence, something Magnus had longed for.

It was hard to admit that he felt lonely sometimes. At the moment there was no constant in his life – Clary and Jace, those shadowhunters were never a part of constant – except the same drama his clients pulled from time to time. Every now and then he would go clubbing or hold a party, maybe getting laid if luck was on his side. Somehow he ended up all by himself. Millions of people living in this small planet, yet in the past decade that special someone was out of his reach. _Maybe it's not the time._ Magnus was convinced.

And a simply lunch, the desire of sharing this silence with the special someone were sparkled, yearning that there was one who would put up with him and spend the rest of their life together, if that was possible.

"Hey! Magnus!" Shouted, a map was thrown into his head. The paper fell on the ground and a corner was wet by the water. "Oh no." He quickly bent down to snatch it, smirked as he saw nothing was damaged badly. He hated things being broken.

"Weirdo." Alec grumbled as he walked to the small store attached to the station. Magnus yelled. "Do you have any money?"

Alec flashed him some bills, too far for Magnus to see the amount and he waved back, a grin on his pale face. "We're camping out tonight." Just then, his body disappeared behind the auto door.

Hands still in the air, Magnus thought – _Teenagers, always unpredictable._

* * *

Driving on the road, Alec volunteered to look out for a spot suitable for camping. Only by nightfall Alec cried out that there was a perfect one. Magnus didn't know how he did it, the place did seem nice. It was hidden behind rows of trees. When they walked through, a deep lake was waiting, mountains on the far end.

Alec spread out multiple of blankets he bought in the small store on the dirty ground. Magnus wasn't quite fond of the concept of sleeping out in the open; many years of experience told him it was never a good idea. He aired his concerns about the car being stolen, Alec simply replied. "Nobody would want that."

So, he swallowed his complaints and sat down next to Alec, who was opening a bottle of liquid labelled 'Jack Daniel's'.

By the nature of its color Magnus deducted it was whiskey. Alec hadn't reached the legal age to consume, so he took it away from his hands. Alec frowned at Magnus, demanded. "Give it back."

"You're not 18 and you obviously stole it. Confiscate." Provocatively Magnus downed a gulp, and sighed in contentment. "That's a good whiskey."

"You are not allowed to drink, right? It's a sin." Alec ranted, reaching his hands to get a hold of the bottle; Magnus let him.

"God turns water into wine. Maybe this is whiskey, but they are both alcohol. God won't judge." Magnus brushed him off, and laid down, hands on back of his head. Alec took a few swigs, followed suit.

Magnus admired the starry sky, connecting dots to form animals (cats) and faces, faces that he no longer recognized. He tried to locate those constellations mundanes always talked about, resulted in many failed attempts. On his left there was Alec, rotating the half empty bottle on his belly button, eyes closing.

It was one of the moments Magnus wouldn't forget, at least he hoped. Resting, he was in a paradise, auras of peace and picturesque diffused into his exhausted body and refreshing his 800-year-old mind. He had never been this sober.

Magnus whispered. "How did you find this place?" Besides him there came a calm voice.

"I was a boy scout." For a second, Alec sounded confident. Magnus supposed it was his question that brought Alec pride. He could give him more, if that was what he needed.

"You must be good."

"I was." Alec murmured. Then he sat up and took more liquid into his stomach, completely drained it and hackled his hairs. Magnus extended his hands, imagining the silkiness of running his fingers through. In reality, he barely touched Alec's back.

Alec threw the bottle away, which landed with a loud crack on the rock, glass shattered into pieces. His body fell down frailly next to Magnus, and snuggled closer to the warmth. Out of habit Magnus tugged Alec closer. Magnus could feel his hot breathes on his shoulder, slightly above the sensitive collarbone. He quivered but remained still.

The pendant fell out from his shirt. The sapphire that matched Alec's blues was gone. Picked up, hoping without disturbing the sleeping teen, Magnus examined it. Scratches along the outline of the metal base, the word 'Lightwood' could be easily seen, carved on the back.

"It's from my real parents," Magnus dropped the pendant, being startled by the sudden vibration from his ribs. He thought Alec was asleep.

"It's all I know. Lightwood, my original last name." Alec slurred. Lightwoods. It would always remind Magnus of the couple, Robert and Maryse. The time they begged for his help and had he promised. The hope in their eyes even when they were facing death. Alec was extraordinary like his parents, he was sure.

"They are in New York?" Magnus asked, though he knew the answer all too well.

"That's what I heard. I asked Simon help… you know, tech and nerd. He found a number. Calls but, but." Alec stopped midway, adjusting his head to find a comfortable spot on Magnus's shoulder. Raven hairs brushing his neck.

He picked up his unfinished sentence. "The girl, guy avoid me." Indeed, when Magnus took the call he was too shocked to react. And as soon as he came up with a response, the line was dead – talk time was over.

"Bad guy there." Said Magnus, meant it from his heart.

"Uh-huh." The way he voiced his agreement was adorable.

Just when Magnus thought Alec was dozing off, the teen hopped to a sitting position, turned his side to right so as to face Magnus. His irises were kindling with passion, blushed cheeks showed Alec was exciting for some reasons. Waiting patiently for what was coming out from Alec, a grin crept on Magnus's face.

"Does New York like Seattle? Full of nutjobs and cosplayers?"

Alec was like a child, tone loaded with thrills and rocked his body back and forth as if Magnus was an uncle telling him bedtime stories. His energy shift dramatically from sorrowful to animate; it affected Magnus too, the corners of his mouth were about to reach his ears.

"On special occasions, yes." He had never seen Alec this full of joy, even he was under the influence of alcohol. If there was a camera, Magnus would take tons of snapshots, and filed them into his collection of memorable moments.

"You don't know. You have no fucking idea how crazy Seattleites are," Alec giggled and said something in hilarity that poured a cold bucket of water on Magnus's head. "I saw people… with claws and wings and fangs. They are so REAL! And, and they paint their skins colorful, green, blue, blue and yellow."

Magnus watched Alec talking vividly. However, the joy of Alec couldn't reach him. Alec, in the mood of sharing, kept on describing the 'cosplayers' in Seattle.

"And there's one. Guy, with horns and thick skin. Like really thick, armor. He is gentle." Simpered, Alec laid down again, but this time put his arms around Magnus's waist and head rested on his chest. He beamed about how the guy singing a lullaby to coax him into sleep while patting his back. Just like what Magnus was doing.

Alec even hummed the song for Magnus, off-key. As his singing faded away, Alec snugged firmly to the warmth emitted from Magnus's body.

Magnus smoothed the tangled inky hairs, the surroundings changed into his apartment which was in an outdated style. Their postures, the sensations, the scent of Alec created a hallucination – or ignited a memory that they shared many years ago. The small but steady breaths landed on Magnus's abdomen, without drool this time.

This was what Magnus had pictured of domestic bliss; nestling, hearing one's breathing and heart beats to sleep, sharing life's events. Uneventful yet heavenly serene.

Their legs interlaced, listening to the echoes of nature and fell asleep next to each other. _If only._ Magnus thought.

_If only everything was the way it wasn't._


	8. Chapter 7: Made Up Your Mind

**Disclaimer:** All characters belong to Cassandra Clare and some scenes belong to the movie Transamerica.

**A/N:** After I read your reviews I think I'll disappoint you all that Vincent is not going to be punished because it doesn't fit with the plot. I'm so sorry please don't leave me... :( And sometimes things just aren't going to the way we want it to, I'm sure Magnus could relate to that. And love for reviews:)

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**Chapter 7: Made Up Your Mind**

When they woke up at noon from the untroubled sleep, Magnus felt there was a huge progression in their relationship. He bet Alec didn't remember much from previous night, seeing he massaged his temples more than often and asked Magnus what it was like living in New York, was it true that everyone wearing fashionable brands of clothes. Magnus responded causally, much like chatting with Clary and Jace.

Alec built up a small fire to cook the can food, which Magnus suspected it was illegal setting fire on woods in the wild. Looking at his map as they were ready in the car, he supposed they were moving fast. Yesterday when they went camping they were already in the middle of Nebraska. There was still a long way ahead. Magnus figured this would be a day of tedious driving with more or less the same landscape outside.

But Alec made the journey endurable; he was more willing to share his opinion, his past life. It helped Magnus knowing the true Alec, the one behind the identity of Lightwoods, of his _work_. Under all the layers, he was just a teenager.

"Simon mentioned you were a good fighter." Magnus asked aimlessly, trying to keep their conversation going. By doing so, Magnus found Alec was actually easygoing; he could continue talking whatever Magnus was throwing at him.

"Probably I was taller and bigger in school, so other kids always relied on me. There was this girl, she got bullied because her mother was a hooker. I fought some bullies away." Alec talked as if it was his honor to protect the weak one. Magnus laughed wholeheartedly, "Is that why you help Simon? Defending his computer? I don't think he needs you that much."

"The computer means a lot to him." Alec mumbled, lips slightly pouted.

Chuckled, "I know. Do you like him then? Not in a friend to friend way, let me state that first." Magnus tapped the wheel with a rhyme, enjoying himself.

"Would you hate me if I say yes?" His fingers stopped. Saw it was a straight road ahead, Magnus turned to look at Alec's uneasy form, said assertively. "No."

Alec gleamed him an angelic grin. Magnus returned a small smile, and it might be his imagination, Alec's cheeks were redder than usual as he turned his head away.

Maybe it was his nature or a simple coincidence, Alec seemed overly curious about myths. Once he knew Magnus had a 'habit' of studying mythological creatures and stories, it had been their topics for the next few hours.

"Who is Lilith?" Magnus alerted when Alec said the name of mother of all warlocks. He tried to be indifferent, explained. "Where should I start? She is a witch, very powerful one. She um, appears in Sumerian myths I believe, others too."

Alec nodded in understanding. "Is she a religious figure? I mean, do people worship her?"

"Only the evil ones. I can't think of any reason why normal people would worship a witch." Having the blood of demon and possessing magical power, like a _witch_, Magnus was considered a devil, a pest that shouldn't exist in the past centuries. Warlocks, or mundanes would like to call – witches, deserved to be burnt to ashes.

The lively blues swimming within the frames, eyebrows furrowed in disagreement.

"Do you believe there are mermaids?"

"No." Sure there was. Sea creatures always had the odor that suffocated him. Magnus felt something rushing up his throat. "If there is, would it be evil? Will God love them?"

"Everything is born equal. So yes." Everything along the road was either green or gray. _Perfect_. Magnus was going to throw every green pieces of clothing away from his wardrobe.

Alec hesitated, but stated still. "You say different things from those missionaries in Seattle. What do _the Institute_ believes in anyway?" Here came more lying. Magnus was a good liar, but asking him to do such in front of Alec, even it was for his own good made Magnus feel nothing but awful.

"We believe in human nature. That we shouldn't betray our hearts. You want to join us?" Said one thing and did another. Magnus was lying to himself, to Alec, betraying his heart. His emotional side persuaded him spilling the truth; the rational side opted for lying. But in the end, was he a human?

And what was he exactly? A warlock, half demon and half human, two entirely different bloods mixed with one body. In some degrees, there might not have difference at all. What was the _nature_ for those who had a demonic heart with a skin of human?

"Umm, do you get paid doing this?" Said Alec.

Before the decision was made, Magnus had to keep hiding their true natures – of a warlock and a shadowhunter. As time went by, he found himself being led to an endless road of deceits; it was a torture as there was no turning back. If he wanted to rest from this exhausting infinite cheat, the consequences might be unbearable. Even for him, an 800-year-old _liar_.

He changed their subjects, avoiding any chance of lying. "Speaking of which, why you chose to be a sex worker?" Alec noticed his sudden turn of topic, also his mood. But he went along.

"I have my mouth to feed." Bending his legs inwards to himself, Alec sat cross-legged and fumbling with the strings of the hole on his jeans. His tone was light, sounded sarcastic in Magnus's ears. He glanced to the teen, the pale face showed no emotion.

He distantly remembered Alec recommended Simon to work in those friendly places, so he asked. "What about those restaurants you told Simon? You can work there."

"Yeah? I was underage. No one would want to hire a thirteen year old child and break the law." Yet there were choices. Magnus had heard posters and volunteers of charities helping homeless, Alec could have asked for their help.

"Charities? I know they give out free food and provide you a place to sleep. _Free food_, I'm saying."

Snorted, Alec despised. "So what? I don't think it's a shame to be a hooker. People sell what they have and get paid; me, I have my body. It's the same."

The traits of Lightwoods was surfacing; they held too much pride to receive charity, something in their eye an act that was out of sympathy. Magnus pondered the Lightwoods wouldn't bend their backs even if someone had a hold on their backbones. Withstood the hardships and never surrendered. They would rather die with dignity than begging for their lives. Magnus had seen that happened.

"Okay. What do you want to do?" Past was the past. They had to look forward. Once Alec got to New York he would find nothing about his parents, at least not in the way he looked into. That Simon vampire did have some skills.

Tentatively Alec said. "Maybe working in a pet store."

"You can always set your goal a bit higher. Like getting a degree or something." Magnus felt like his eyeballs were burning, probably from wearing contacts too long. Tears pooled and reddened his eyes, he resisted the urge to take them off.

"I like animals. People always say you should do what you have passion to. I used to have a cat back in Seattle." Alec defended himself, unaware of Magnus's grasp on the wheel.

"A cat?" Despite his eyes were about to pop out from the sockets, Magnus said inquisitively. "I have one too, Chairman Meow. Yours?"

Alec chuckled with amusement. "Chairman Meow? Mine is Church."

"Now you're accusing me of naming a cat like that. Church? Really?" Couldn't help it, Magnus too laughed with Alec. Behind those torturous contacts Magnus could see how the joyful laughter lightened Alec's pallor. No matter for shadowhunters or mundanes, Alec's face always pale like he just witnessed a murder. He came to life when his cheeks turned rosy accompanied with the exquisite pairs of Conbalt blues. Alec was certainly an angel fallen from heaven.

"That's because I found him crawling at the door of a church. It was raining and the poor cat was shaking like hell. So I took him home." Was that what the antique building was? A home, where family gathered.

"I don't see him that day."

Alec said a bit sadly. "He ran away. I've never seen him again." Magnus might make the biggest mistake in his life, but at that moment he didn't care. "You can come to my place and visit Chairman. I'm sure he will like you." It was an invite of danger. Yet for Magnus it was worthy when he saw the smile on Alec.

Just like that they talked for hours. And Magnus's eyes were killing him. After a very short and chaotic dinner in the car Magnus gave up driving; he could barely open his eyes now as his head was incessantly smashed by a hammer. If he kept on driving, there was a huge possibility of him ran off the road and into a tree.

Darkness had fallen and Magnus was sitting in the passenger seat, covering his upper face and rested his elbow on the windowsill. It stung and biological tears wet his eyelashes. Although Magnus had never experienced it before, unquestionably he would say it felt like acid was splashed to his beautiful eyes and eroding the tissues.

Seemed to awake of his disconcerted state, Alec focused on driving and looking for a sign. Magnus had commanded Alec to stop at the next motel, then he could rushed to the bathroom and took out those excruciating devices mundanes invented. On the box it said it could last a day, yet merely the sun had set and he wanted to grub his eyes out to save himself some misery.

After a few tries, Magnus just had to stop it. Pleading mixed with whines, Magnus implored. "Stop right here I need to get out."

The teen obeyed without question, parked aside of the road. Magnus stumbled out of the car and not bothering to close the door, he ran to the trunk and bended down. In a rapid speed Magnus carefully removed the contacts, sighed in relief when his face was reflected in the green surface. His pupils slit into feline form, a shade of green faded around his pupils with golden yellow in the background. Rubbing his tears out, he suddenly realized an important thing.

He searched his pockets and cursed – the spare was in his bag.

Magnus took a deep breath, but coughed viciously when the black smoke of the burning gas filled his lungs. Distracted, he didn't aware of the gigantic truck swooshing besides him; he shot up like a ghost crawling his back. Being scared was nothing funny, so Magnus hissed at the tail of the truck.

But he quickly crouched back down. Odds were not in his flavor. He cast a spell, an easy one to disguise his eyes' color. For safety he even checked if there was car coming by and laid on his stomach so his sparkles wouldn't be seen by Alec.

Confirmed that there was no flaw about the pupils, Magnus stood back up and patted his shirt clean. His face and body obviously relaxed, he got back into the car.

"Wow, that's a relief." Said Magnus.

Alec looked at him with strange look. "What were you doing?" His voice was tight.

"Call of nature." He tried to give a reassuring smile, yet Alec pressed his lips into a hard line and drove. Magnus was grateful for the withering of pain, now and then he would look into the wing mirror and saw his mundane eyes. It was not he had no faith in his magic, just that he was exhausted from the humdrum driving and fire setting on his gorgeous feline eyes. The magic would wear off after a specific of time and Magnus would like to think that a motel was not that far away.

Finally some lucky for him, there was one on the road around midnight. It was nicer that the one they shared the first night, a three story with a pool. It didn't surprise him that the price was 'nicer' too, nearly a double. However, he would say it was the right choice when he opened the door on the second floor and saw the balcony facing the pool, something that wasn't green.

Alec hadn't said anything all night. Even now, he just threw his blue bag over the bed farther from the balcony and sprawled on it, looking tried. So Magnus let him be and walked into the bathroom with his spare clothes, stripped himself and took a long, hot shower.

It was when Magnus came out from the bathroom to know something was wrong. Alec was smoking, a pack of cigarettes on top of his opened bag was next to him, on the nightstand the smoked cigarettes were piled up in the ash tray. Reading a digest, the flame at the butt brightened when Alec sucked in deeply and his hand fell outside the bed. It was a charming sight.

The flame died as Alec took another long suck; he closed his eyes to enjoy the smoke travelling in his lungs. During their time together, Magnus had not seen Alec like this. He was troubled by something, something serious that he had to use tobacco to relax his nerve.

"Do you have anything to tell me?" Asked Alec. The digest was put down, the used cigarette joined its dead mates. He sounded colder, but still Magnus could see the anxiety in his eyes though they were shrouded by the bangs.

Magnus shuffled to his bed and deposited his worn clothes on the sheet, answered carefully. "No. I'm going to do the laundry, anything you need to wash?"

Alec snorted, smoke rushing out from his nose. Before he shook his head, he slipped out a few satirical chuckles and returned to the digest.

Weird. The teen had been behaving oddly since nightfall. Maybe Alec needed some personal space, after all he was a teenager; and teenagers didn't like people getting too attached.

When Clary was 14 Magnus found her attitude changed. She would find his questions annoying, such as 'how's life?', 'meet any new friends?' or 'you are taller than last time I saw you.' Most of them ended up getting an aggressive response from the redhead.

Secretly he asked Jocelyn what happened, it seemed she had some clues. An inevitable period of teenage rebellion. Bizarrely it was Jocelyn who comforted him, "It'll pass." Only until then Magnus realized Clary was not a child anymore; she was growing into a woman, an adult. And Magnus had to master the skill of giving her freedom, chasing and kicking demons' asses, engaging in a romantic relationship with the most infuriating shadowhunter throughout the history and getting married, eventually expecting.

Clary was a successful case without question. So that's so, how come he couldn't do that to Alec even the first small step?

The laundry room was on the first floor. Magnus inserted the coins into the machine and stuffed his clothes inside, pressed some buttons following the instruction labeled on top. While waiting, he pulled out his phone and dialed the number.

Someone picked up on the third ring. "Bye."

Magnus jumped in furry, yelled. "Don't you dare JACE!" Heartless laughs coming from the other end, Jace joked. "What do you want sparkly? We are busy."

"What, like Clary drawing and you drooling next to her? A kindly reminder, this is Clary's phone so she should be the one to decide if she takes it or not." Said Magnus.

"That would be the reverse. You see, it's Clary – "

"Magnus." Clary interrupted by snatching the phone from Jace. It wasn't that long since their last call, but she was worried about Magnus and the son of Lightwoods. Magnus crossed his heart and sighed. "It's very good to hear your voice again, Clary."

"What's the matter?" He could hear Clary whispered to Jace, ruling the golden hair man to leave the room for privacy.

Magnus spoke once she was settled down on her bed. "Last night I talked with Alec and found out that in the past years he have many contacts with our world. Now I don't even know whatf I'm supposed to do."

"How? I thought you've hired a warlock to look after him?"

"It's a rather long story. In short, Alec moved to Seattle by his own and a vampire was living with him. But I don't think he knows about us, _yet_. When he was drunk he told me those warlocks and vampires he saw and he mistakes them as 'cosplayers'."

"He was drunk." Clary repeated slowly. Magnus was nearly on the edge of flipping a table. The redhead apologized. "Sorry, wrong focus. But if Alec doesn't know _what they are_, your promise still count."

"I don't know." He ran his hand within the ebony hairs and grabbed a handful, tugged slightly. _Oh dear. _His head was pounding.

Clary, being a good friend in need, smelled the rat. "I don't think it's about the promise, Magnus." If she could tell it, what was the need for him to hide?

"I'm scared Clary. I like Alec, very much. I want to be honest with him but everything we have now is based on lies. There is nothing true about me. Lilith I told him I am a missionary from the church called Institute! How… how – _fucked up_ is all this!" The last part was done through a whisper.

Magnus was glad it was late, nobody was here besides those soulless machines and him. Up to that point, Magnus had thrown his promise to the Lightwoods long behind his head because he believed their intention of that life-changing night was sheltered Alec from harm. In Magnus's stand, Alec could know about the shadow world without getting hurt, not physically. Many mundanes lived a long life even they got in touch with downworlders, demons and shadowhunters.

That night at Vincent, he made his promise. He would be the one to protect the angelic boy. Honesty, an essential element in all relationships was exactly what they lacked. Would Alec still be around if the truth was revealed? Magnus couldn't bare the sight of Alec realizing he was a trickster, the hurt in his eyes. He didn't want to be the one of those people who used and betrayed Alec. Their ways of doing things were the same regardless of their motives.

Magnus Bane, if people asked anyone, they would say he was an assertive man. However, when it came to Alec he was never sure. He could feel Alec liked him, but was it the same way he did?

"Magnus… I think you already have your answer. I'm just telling you that no matter what, we are here. That's what family is for." Clary said, giving Magnus a boost.

Family, home and the sense of belongings. Magnus thought, he had been searching for this special one. And now there might be his chance.

"Thank you Clary. Go back to Goldilocks, he misses you." He at last retrieved his sense of humor, Clary giggled and said goodbye. Tonight, maybe tomorrow, he was going to have Alec sat down and make his confession. Crossing his fingers, Magnus leaned against the running machine, thinking about his once in a lifetime speech. This was his chance.


	9. Chapter 8: Revelation of Reality

**Disclaimer:** All characters belong to Cassandra Clare and some scenes belong to the movie Transamerica.

**A/N: **A relatively short update. Next few chapters will be a flashback about Alec's life in Seattle and his POV about Magnus.

About the question why Magnus doesn't use magic to change his eyes in the first place, my bad… because I want there to be a slip up and the first idea popped in my head was the eyes of Magnus and I didn't give much second thought on this matter. Sorry if this doesn't make sense to you since it is indeed an impulse decision. Sorry! L I hope you can still enjoy the story regardless of the mistake (and this long ass A/N). Thanks!

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**Chapter 8: Revelation of Reality**

Magnus groaned in irritation, knowing that the dryer had stopped five minutes ago. Didn't bother to get a basket, he held his clothing in his arms. 45 minutes, he had stood there 45 minutes and yet he hadn't even started his opening sentence. The perfect speech he dreamed about stayed as a dream.

_Procrastination would only bring more suffering._ Magnus told himself. He breathed slowly and deeply, learning from a television that it helped relieve your level of nervousness. His sat on the dryer hugging his warm clothes, buried his face into the pile to smell the fresh scent of chemicals. Immediately wrinkled his nose, Magnus pushed himself up from the machine and began his journey of truth.

On his way back he made numerous of metal notes, reminding him don't be too direct. Stories of mundanes fainting after the acknowledgement of their world was not uncommon and some turned lunatic, living in their own dimensions as Catarina said a defensive mechanism. Magnus had to be careful with Alec.

He couldn't think of the scenario of Alec's deadly eyes staring into his, the once cherubic dark blues lost their twinkles. Alec had stayed in Seattle for four years and the beam remained blazing, back straighter than anyone else. He believed Alec was strong enough to brace it. The blood of Lightwood was tough.

Facing the nicely painted door, Magnus took the handle in his hand and cheered himself on. _You can do this. Believe in yourself, Bane. _

Inside the room no one was expecting him. Or to be precise, not a single organism was there except Magnus. He instantly chucked his clothes to his bed and went for the bathroom, still no sign of Alec. This recalled the memory of their stay in the last motel. _No, this isn't happening._ Magnus cursed. He allowed him space, but this missing matter was out of line.

He went through Alec's stuff to search for clues. The digest was placed at the end of the bed, the pack of cigarette was gone and the bag seemed unmoved. Magnus guessed Alec went some places to smoke.

His ears picked up laughter outside. It came from the pool, small but audible for a warlock. Marched to the balcony, he scanned down to find Alec's familiar form.

And there he was. Alec was sitting at the edge of the pool, talking to a blonde boy around the same age. Magnus sighed, in his long lasting life blondes had always meant troubles and this one would be no exception, he could tell.

Alec had his jeans rolled up to his knees, two pale feet kicking under the crystal clean water. The blonde propped his elbows on the edge next to Alec, half of his body immersed. None of them noticed a pair of cat eyes was observing as Alec was staring at the pool while the blonde rested his eyes on Alec.

Magnus was relieved when he saw Alec was alright, he even seemed delighted talking with the boy. Probably he missed the company of Simon who looked and acted like a teenager. Magnus's appearance might be too but he couldn't say the same for his heart and behaviors.

Alec lighted up a cigarette and chortled after the other teen spoke, something funny Magnus suspected. Sometimes they would lock their eyes and the blonde would pull his collar to whisper into Alec's ear, getting another laugh. The good mood would help taking what Magnus had prepared for him, Magnus hoped.

As Magnus was about to retreat, the blonde did something that jolted him back to the spot.

They were chatting normally, when Alec took a drag on the cigarette the blonde said a few words, and then Alec held out his smoke. But he didn't take it; instead he hopped forward and encircled Alec's neck, pulling the black haired boy down to meet his lips on the way. Alec jerked a bit and moved his hands outwards, didn't want to burn the blonde. Alec must have responded to the kiss because without protest he let the teen dragged him into the water. Once Alec was in, the blonde cupped his face and pushed him to the edge, crushing Alec's back to it.

Alec seemed to enjoy it too, palms resting on the blonde's shoulders. Even the ashes fell on his bare skin, the teen didn't move an inch. Magnus could see the kiss was heating up as the blonde moved his hands down and the image blurred under the water, but Magnus deduced he was getting under Alec's shirt. Somehow his blood was boiling; although the sight of Alec was pleasing, the fact that another man touching him provoked his anger.

Magnus wished it was him that gave Alec so much pleasures.

So, he yelled at the two. "Alec!"

Heard the call, the teenagers looked up to Magnus who kept yelling at the balcony. "I need to talk to you!" After his words, Alec untangled himself from the blonde, who Magnus could see pouted but still stepped back and took the cigarette from Alec.

Alec went back up to the land and glanced at Magnus once he gained his balance, soon he lowered his head and walked to the building, his smile long gone. The blonde finished the smoke and left it floating on the water, caught up Alec with his struts.

Got back in the room, Magnus waited impatiently sitting on his bed, chin rested on his palm and fingers massaging his temple. He felt betrayed by Alec, yet they weren't even a couple. Dull pains were spread to his limbs as the heart pumping.

The door opened quietly and revealed two young men. Magnus furrowed at the blonde. He was tall and muscles packed gracefully, a tower wrapped around his torso and a pair of gray boardshorts. Hairs pale blonde with olive green irises, peeped behind Alec's broad frame. Alec was sinking wet, jeans and the black T shirt dripping droplets. His hair disheveled, unlike the blonde's.

Alec walked to his bed and sat down, leaving the two staring at each other. The blonde waved his hand, introduced. "I'm Sebastian. You're Alec's friend?"

"Magnus." He replied then turned his attention to Alec, who was pulling his shirt over his head and revealed the thick chest and abs. He kept on undressing while asked, "What is it?" At times he would look at Magnus like he was a stranger, cold and guarded.

"Can we talk in private?" Directing the question to Sebastian, the teen responded. "I'll leave you to it." But before Sebastian could open the door, Alec stopped him.

"No, he'll stay." Said sternly, Alec let his jeans fell on the ground. Magnus ignored his nearly complete naked form and looked at him in surprise. Sebastian, being stuck in the crooked argument seemed to be at a loss. His eyes darted between Alec and Magnus when Alec motioned him to come hither.

"What is it that he can't hear?" Alec interrogated, aggressively stood in front of Magnus. Their glares locked and behind the stormy blues Magnus discovered uncertainty and dismay.

Feeling the unspeakable tension Sebastian stepped in, holding Alec's arm. "You know where to find me." Alec nodded reluctantly and peaked him a kiss before letting him go. Sebastian closed the door behind him.

"What's going on?" Magnus questioned. He wasn't by his side for 45 minutes and Alec already hooked up with someone _else_? He tried to ask nicely like a friend, but it came out exasperated. Alec sat down again, hands crossed in front of his chest. "What is it?" Said Alec.

"Now you're using a question to answer my question? Alec I need you to be honest with me." His voice raised and his eyes fixed on the teen opposite him.

"You want me to be honest." Alec repeated, and let out a ridicule. "It's funny, Magnus, because you are a fucking liar!" With his shouts Alec stood up again, walked to the end of his bed. Ha ran his fingers into the tangled hairs, chest raising up and down markedly.

Magnus froze. _A fucking liar._

Alec was biting his lips, pacing around the room aimlessly. "Say something Magnus!" Alec exclaimed desperately. Magnus didn't know what to say.

Blinked a few times, Magnus said, the words nearly choked by his tightened throat. "I lied to you, Alec. I'm not a missionary from any church, I don't believe in God and – "

"I already figured that out. There is something else. Tell me," Alec interjected and put his hands on his waist, "_are you a human?_"

Immediately Magnus lifted his head and looked at Alec with consternation. Just then Alec had his answer, his shoulders shrunk inwards and slumped on the bed, back facing Magnus.

Magnus wanted to speak, to explain himself but his voice was dead within his body. The reality was always cruel. How wrong he was thinking Alec was oblivious – Alec even knew he was not a human. He shut his eyes tight; demoralized, frustration and mostly anguish. There was lights shining, being brighter and closer but only to find out it was a bloody train and slayed him in half. Why did he deserve this?

"How?" He managed to slur the word, knowing there was no use denying. Both of their breathings erratic, lungs gasping for air as much as possible.

Distantly Alec explicated. "I saw it from the rearview mirror. Your eyes. They are like cats, I know a human wouldn't have ones like that, do they? But then you came back like nothing happened, I looked at you and the pupils weren't right… not for _you_ anyway."

It was just seconds matter. Alec saw his slit pupils, the trait of a warlock. He didn't know _what he was_ but a creature categorized as non-human. He did take the news good, just not the reasons why Magnus had imagined. He lost his tongue. Everything he thought he had handled properly turned out to be a chaos, an evidence mocking his cockiness.

"Do you have anything to say?" Alec whispered.

It never happened before. Magnus carried out his calculations perfectly; the spells and potions he produced were flawless. 800 years on earth and the knowledge he absorbed offered him a wealthy life, because he never went wrong. Things were on their tracks, running towards the way Magnus wanted them to be.

Now with Alec, everything was wrong.

"I'm a warlock." Magnus confessed.

Alec strode to Magnus's side, staring at his crown. "What do you want from me?" This time his voice was stripped of accusations, more like pleading. Magnus turned his head to find tears accumulating around the blues, so much that some were pouring down. Alec wiped them out quickly, leaving traces of water on his pale face.

Alec looked so fragile, easily breakable at the moment. His tears uncontrollably falling, Alec simply buried his face in his hands. Magnus reached out – and pulled Alec into his arms. Alec blocked him away.

Magnus quaked, "Nothing. I told you."

"Then what, you just went to a jail and ask someone who needed help? You think you bailed me out and I'll let you fuck me?" He was wailing, "Is that what you think of me?" Alec grabbed his slender shoulders, shook Magnus with his feeble hands, demanding the truth.

Magnus gripped at his wrists and plumped him down on the bed, soothed. "No no no. Of course not, Alec." His thumbs drawing circles on the wrists, a comforting gesture.

The way Alec said those words like it was normal for someone to take advantage of him bombed a big hole on Magnus's chest. The only thing that happened like he had thought, was the wounded soul yelping in those astonishing eyes.

"You're not like that. It's not my intention to use you." Said with his voice turned hoarse, Magnus's throat was burning when each word slipped through.

The son of Lightwoods sitting in front of Magnus, a boy whose fate was once in his hand. Alec suppressed his cries to small sobs and shoulders wavering like branches under the storm. Magnus was so helpless that he couldn't pull the usual tricks he did to Clary when she was upset about Jace.

The sassy Magnus Bane was currently in a passive position. If you told people Magnus Bane the powerful warlock was speechless under conditions like this, they would raise their eyebrows and look at you like you were a runaway from an asylum. Because Magnus Bane always had his comeback, always had the last laugh, and always the winner.

Through Alec had settled down a little, his tears still found their ways running down the flushed cheeks. Messily Alec rubbed his face, eyes cast down on the mattress. They sat there for what seemed like an hour which in reality, only five minutes. Despite of his harsh voice, Alec muttered. "Your eyes."

Alec withdrew himself from Magnus's grips and fingers trailed along his temple. He stared right back at Magnus, whispered. "They are flashing green and yellow."

The magic was wearing off quicker than he thought, possibly because of his unstable emotions. Magnus hastily tried to cast a spell to hide it, but Alec opposed.

"Promise me, Magnus. No more lies." He was observing his cat-like eyes, tilting his head. There was something else apart from the curiosity from Alec's expression. Suddenly Magnus felt embarrassed with Alec staring at him so intensely focused.

Magnus swallowed and asked charily. "I promise. Do you want to talk?" Alec lowered his head, hands fell back on his laps. "Tomorrow. I'm tired."

There was nothing for Magnus to do except nodding. The blue-eyed teen simply rolled off to the other side and slid into his bed, and like the first night he pulled the comforter over his head, curling into a ball like Chairman Meow. The dead silence was buzzing Magnus's super-sensitive ears.

Magnus knew none of them would get any sleep that night. Helpless like a little boy lost his parents at a crowded hall, that was what he was then.


	10. Chapter 9: Getaway to a Hoax

**Disclaimer:** All characters belong to Cassandra Clare and some scenes belong to the movie Transamerica.

**A/N:** Sigh… I don't know why I like to torture Alec. Sorry… But please review :)

This update is so quick because of my heavy workload for the coming week (kind of like a compensation), so next update probably will be on Sunday the earliest, if not I'll make it_ by Tuesday_. Anyway, I hope you enjoy reading about Alec's past and this chapter.

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**Chapter 9: Getaway to a Hoax**

In his short life Alec had seen a lot of things. During his childhood in Shoshone, he would only be able to sleep with the lights on. Because there it was, low howls and spooky eyeballs would popped its head outside his window. He had talked about this to his stepfather, who explained it was his dream.

It wasn't. It paid constant visit since he was seven. There was one time Alec was exhausted after school practice and went straight into coma as he touched the comfortable bed. In the dark something was pulling his ankle, tugging him off his bed. He opened his eyes to see a pair of yellowish eyes staring at him, slobbering and revealed its sharp teeth. A tail liked lizard.

His stepfather heard his screams and rushed to his room. As soon as the door was burst opened, the monster vanished within thin air, leaving him looking like a fool.

"It is only imagination." They said.

But Alec saw it. It was in the bedroom trying to eat him. His stepfather had took him to shrinks and they would give him medications. None of them worked, really. Yet Alec didn't want his stepfather worried, so he pretended he was better. For such a long time Alec thought he was the crazy one in this small town.

Then something awful happened. More terrifying than the monster.

In order to get rid of his past Alec came to Seattle. He rambled far, way too far from the center of Seattle and walked into the poor side of the great city. The neighborhood was lifeless. At times people with soulless eyes appeared around the corners or lying on the ground like a corpse.

Alec settled down in a building which seemed to be abandoned for quite a long time. Cracks on the walls and shattered glasses and rubbish covered the floor. As he was walking up the stairs he heard people moaning from a distance. Alec pondered if he should continue his exploration, thinking it was impolite to disturb.

He decided to leave and the sun was setting, he should probably get another place to stay for the night. During his journey Alec once slept in an alley and was mobbed by an addict pointing a gun at him, taking all the money the Doctor gave him and cracked the blue jewel on his pendant detached. He was broke.

On the ground floor he saw two guys coming in, faces all serious. By instinct Alec tried to hide; those guys had tattoos on their bodies, didn't seem friendly at all. Sadly there was nowhere to escape nor did he have the time to dig a hole, his eyes met two pairs of predatory gazes and his body stiffened at the aura of danger.

The two, a blonde and a brunet smirked wickedly and approached Alec by his sides. Alec was raised in a rather peaceful and uneventful community, there was no guideline on how to defend yourself from gangsters.

The blonde wrapped his arm around Alec's broad shoulder, said. "Oh boy don't you look delicious." On the other hand the brunet stood in front of the shrinking Alec and ran his palms under his over-size shirt. He heard a chuckle, the brunet admired. "Yes he does. How old are you sweetie?"

Alec clenched his jeans tightly, his brain became sticky and he couldn't think.

Seeing Alec didn't utter a word, only shaking under the nearness of them, the two cajoled. "A name would be enough." Now a third hand joined exploring the slightly muscled body, their hands touching everywhere; his chest, sides, back and even started to slid further down into his jeans. Alec tried to stop them with a small protest. "I'm sorry I'll be on my way." For the two his struggle was so powerless that made them laugh.

Alec lowered his head to avoid their profound stares, giving the blonde a chance to strangle him; he let out a wail as the force turned greater and felt he was being dragged upstairs. Alec kicked out subconsciously and the brunet caught his ankles, making the trip easier for the blonde.

He had no idea where he was brought. Passed a long hallway, the brunet put his legs down to open a door, then he was pushed on the ground. Panting for air, Alec was on four coughing non-stop.

In front of him was still the brunet, "Now sweetie, tell us your name." He asked nicely, but Alec could detect the threatening tone from his cold voice. Alec attempted to get up yet his legs went flabby.

"Alec." He sat on the dirty floor.

"Short for _Alexander_? I like that." There was a croon from behind. Alec glanced back to see the blonde was guarding the door, leaning against it.

The brunet crouched down to meet Alec's eyes on the same level. Touching Alec's chin he explained. "_Alexander_, this is our place. If you want to live around here you'll have to pay us, which I guess you don't have any money. Right?" He stopped there, waiting for Alec to focus on him.

Alec nodded and the brunet spoke again. "Then you'll have to do something for us."

Alec wanted to leave, but as he inspected the area there was no way to escape. He was too young to do things on his own.

Basically since that day Alec was under the protection of the two heads of local gangs. He lived under their roof, had his room and trained. Trainings were carried out by a daily basis. As the blondes liked to say, making sure the quality was up to standard before putting on shelf. It took Alec three months to master the skills he was taught and after the night of announcement, he was officially on sale.

The first couple of months someone would take Alec to somewhere he didn't know, mostly hotels but sometimes an apartment or a house and collected him once it was done. He had been to ridiculous places too, like offices and clubs, bathroom stalls and alleyways wherever his clients wanted him. It was not pleasant, having a stranger be inside him.

It was not that he didn't put up a fight; the first time he had a client, he was too terrified that he pushed the elder off the bed. And resulted in a vicious beating. Alec asked inwardly, _what have I got myself into?_

A year since he lived in Seattle, a new guy Simon came in. Alec had a chance to chat with him few weeks after Simon moved in the room three doors away, discovered that Simon ran away from home and was a talent. He knew about computer and programming, only lived there as a tenant.

Simon was nice. Alec kind of started to like him in a complicated way. Maybe that was because Simon would sneak into his room after Alec returned from work or the clients had left. They would sit on the mattress regardless of the aftermath and chat like friends. In this chaotic city he found a shoulder to rest on.

Occasionally the gangs would mess with Simon, took away his glasses and snatched his computer. Simon being a boney and skinny teen he just stood there and waited the gangs to leave him at peace. Before any damage was done Alec would stepped in; he knew the computer was everything for him.

Then one day, Simon suggested Alec a plan.

Alec was petting Church, a cat he found in front of a church after meeting Bobby and it cost him a rough sex in order to keep him. Simon whispered into his ears for precaution. At first Alec thought it was a trap, because honestly, he fell on those previous ones and he didn't end up very well. He had been warned if ever wanted to pull a trick, his ending wouldn't be decent.

So he obediently stayed and listened to the orders. Simon was furiously mad at Alec that he cursed if Alec was a whore that liked taking it up in the ass, shouting a bit loud that scared Church enough to jump off Alec's lap and instead laid in the corner. Alec knew he didn't mean it because Simon immediately apologized after his unthoughtful words.

Alec thought bitterly, _if I could, of course I would leave_. However, where to? He was still a minor, even if he could find a job, where should he sleep? They wasn't treating Alec unwell, to the contrary they were nice if took their dominance and kinks out of the situation.

Before the day he turned 16, Alec was transferred to a mansion. The brunet dropped him off at the door and said he would stay there for the next few months until further notice.

The client – Zareb – was constantly away on business trips, and he looked weird. Not normally weird but crazily weird. Alec had had clients with different colors of skin, fangs or scales, usually they fucked and left, a one-time-thing. However, Zareb was special. He had two gray different sizes of horns on his forehead pointing right up and skins thick as an armor. Alec had wondered why he won't take off his make-up and cosplay customes, of which Simon had told him about it before when he asked about those 'cosplayers'.

Zareb was soft and caring. And he tried to understand. The very first night they spent together Alec insisted keeping the lights on, a habit from his childhood. He wasn't happy about it but still let Alec do so. Later when Zareb was back from work he coaxed Alec to tell him the reason.

Somehow Alec found safety in his arms, from the way he hugged Alec. So he told him about the monster he saw at nights.

Zareb giggled. "You silly boy." Jokingly he tugged Alec closer. "It's a demon. Not many people can see them, only shadowhunters and rare mundanes with inborn Sight."

Alec looked at him confused, "Demon and shadowhunters? And mundanes?"

Zareb quickly shut up and pushed Alec on the sheet gently, straddled around his waist while loosening his tie. "You shouldn't know too much,_ Alexander_. Just run away when you see one, okay?" His brown eyes filled with affection.

Up until that point Zareb had never done anything harmful to him. Therefore, Alec suppressed his thought and let himself enjoy the bliss Zareb bringing him.

It was also Zareb whom noticed his pendant, the only one. They were cuddling on the sofa watching some sport live. In the middle of it a rough hand reached into his collar. Alec thought Zareb wanted to have him there so he turned his head to kiss the man's jaw. Out of participation Zareb took out the pendant and eyes widened as he saw the word engraved on it.

"Zareb?" Alec asked.

"Where did you get this?" He felt Zareb tensed up. Alec got out from his embrace and sat on his ankles. "I have it since I was a baby. My step, um stepfather said it was from my biological parents, probably." His furrowed eyebrows worried Alec.

"You're a Lightwood." Zareb stated, as if he couldn't believe himself. His eyes scanning Alec's body up and down.

"I suppose so. What's wrong?" Alec inquired cautiously. He snapped back from his thoughts and gulped. "_Lilith_… I think you should leave." Then just like that Zareb left the living room and called the blonde to pick Alec up.

Alec was collected that night. During their ride, the blonde said. "_Alexander,_ you are our good boy. And Simon…we don't like you two getting too close. If you do anything wrong he might be _taken care of_. Am I understood?"

Breaths hitched, Alec nodded compliantly. A content smirk spread on his face, the blonde petted Alec's head. "You are ours. Remember that."

Simon greeted him when he got back to the old building, Alec immediately pulled the boy into his room. Knowing something was wrong, Simon said, "Is everything alright?"

Alec simply blurted out, he needed answer. "Simon, have you ever lied to me?" Simon seemed to be taken by his question.

"No, Alec! What've got into you?" Simon didn't look like the type. Sure what would he lie? It didn't benefit him in any way. So Alec blamed himself being paranoid and offered an apology. "I'm sorry I just, things happened. Where is Church, by the way?" Church would usually wait for Alec to come back and feed him, sometimes rubbing against his shins. But now the cat was missing.

Simon looked at him guiltily, stuttered. "I don't know how to say this but he ran away. I haven't seen him like weeks."

Suddenly Alec felt his heart lost a piece. He wondered if he hadn't been a good owner to Church, that the poor cat found himself a better one. "Well, things come and go." He concluded. Leaving his thoughts behind, he approached Simon. "Would you do me a favor?"

He could see Simon had his doubts but still he agreed. And the next day he brought a good news to Alec. That there were Lightwoods in New York City and a phone number written on a piece of poster. He decided he was going to find them. First of all, he needed money. Alec wouldn't just come to his parents unprepared.

But it was easier said than done. After his assignment with Zareb Alec had lesser restraints. Throughout the years he had gained a stable list of clients and was allowed to leave the building whenever he wanted. Probably because of the new bloods coming in, the two heads didn't care much about him. They would come by sometimes and ask about his work, then collected their money and leave. No trouble, no close surveillance.

But they charged higher and higher. As if playing with him Alec could only afford his meals barely. That time Bobby took him in the balcony, Alec saw people in the streets rushing to work or going home to their family. He couldn't imagine he was going to spend rest of his life in the shithole alone. His thoughts rambling around and caused Bobby's discontentment.

"I'm not good enough for you?" He tugged Alec's hairs brutally and fastened his pace. The pain wrinkled Alec's nose and he shook his head. "Don't stop, _Bobby_. Don't stop."

For the three years Alec only liked Bobby because of his generous payment. Bobby looked like a normal white collar, always wore a suit or causal smart clothing. A gentleman on the outside but a monster in the heart; he was manipulative and a control freak. Alec didn't enjoy every second of it. Especially after meeting Zareb, Bobby found that Alec was in the market again and he claimed him like Alec was an animal.

Deep down Alec hated that man. Yet he couldn't complain, could he?

Days gone by and just a few months he was going to be 18. It was just numbers for Alec as most of the time he couldn't figure out what month and year it was. Yet that afternoon when Alec departed for an appointment, Simon reminded him exactly two months later he would be an adult.

Alec shrugged and walked into the empty street, hands in the pockets fondling the plastic bag. He got that from the brunet because of his client's request. Alec never understood why people enjoyed sniffing stuff into their bodies. This client liked to get high and drunk at the same time, so Alec planned to get some vodkas and wasted him. Then Alec might not need to sleep with him.

Just about his luck, he was caught red-handed and locked up. The cop said he could call someone, but Alec had no one to call. He didn't know how much was the bail and Simon might not be helpful in this case. So he took out the neatly folded paper, and pressed the buttons.


	11. Chapter 10: Budding

**Disclaimer:** All characters belong to Cassandra Clare and some scenes belong to the movie Transamerica.

**A/N:** Finished my work earlier than I expected so here is the next chapter! Development of Alec's feelings :D There are lots of repeated scenes but from Alec's POV, so I hope you won't find it boring and dull.

**_Warnings:_** Brief sexual content.

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**Chapter 10: Budding**

A handsome guy came in instead of a Lightwood. Magnus, as he introduced himself, had a pair of deep green eyes. Tall and lean, slightly muscled and simply dressed but stylish. Alec thought Magnus was a model of some sort, it turned out he was a missionary. He tried to call Alec _'Alexander'_. Alec didn't like it at all. Only clients would call him that.

A missionary would never be that attractive, or doing good things for God and kindly offered him a ride to New York. Could something that wonderful happened in this world? To him?

However, this was his way out. Though Simon would be left behind, he had to do it. When Simon ran away from his room, Alec thought he lost the only friend of his life. And the chances were this was their last time together.

While they were striding out, they found Alec. The two came out of nowhere and sandwiched Alec on the street. The blonde lilted, "Oh_ Alexander_, here you are." Alec had wondered so many times that his life was a toy played within their fingers. They seemed to have the ability to know his location. Every damn time.

Neglecting their calls, Alec squeezed through them; but they moved faster. The blonde pushed him on the wall by his waist and trapped him. The brunet confronted Magnus. "We need some time with our sweetie, just a moment okay?"

He felt a hand was running on his body and rubbing his side. "Don't… I don't do things like that anymore." Begged, pain and numbness shot to his spine. His bag fell on the ground and Alec clenched the muscular arms. Magnus glance at him then back to the brunet.

The blonde lured, "Tsk, you're being a naughty boy. What should we do to punish you? Or your Simon?"

Punishment. If Magnus backed down, Alec certainly couldn't work for days before full recovery.

Alec heard a silky voice. "He's with me. And I suggest you not to touch him, as the consequence would be an extreme that neither of you could take." At the split second Alec was confident in Magnus he would protect him. His sounded insistent and assertive.

"Keep walking and we won't kick your sore ass." The brunet threatened.

Alec prayed that Magnus wouldn't give him up. His view was blocked by the blonde, who was getting into his jeans. When he saw Alec wasn't wearing anything underneath, he chuckled. "Kinky." And he bit his neck heavily; Alec let out a silent yelp.

Abruptly the blonde was floppy and started to lean onto him. Alec twitched his body to see the two was falling unconsciously face down. Just a second, and they went down like they were dead. Alec looked at Magnus, who was watching the whole incident so calm and unemotional – like it was a trivia.

Magnus commanded. "Stay close to me."

Alec snatched his bag back and dressed himself properly, ran next to the taller man. A hand wrapped around his shoulder; Alec had this familiarity, which he had been into this embrace. And he felt safer than ever. Alec tugged himself closer and hands held on Magnus's shirt. They got into the car parked in front of the police station and went for the highway, heading New York City.

They hadn't talked since then, Magnus just kept on driving and stopped once a motel was spotted in the night. During the way Alec's brain was rewinding the scene where the two fainted at the same time. How could someone do that? Was it one of the things God could do? _Like magic._ Alec summed up. _Maybe Magnus is an angel, sent by the God to save people from misery._ But soon he discarded the thought. He was being silly, there was no God. Not ever.

He parked the car and banged his head on the dashboard, Alec started to think if Magnus was really a missionary; he acted and talked differently. Those missionaries he knew would talk about Bible and sins, guiding Alec to believe in God. Magnus hadn't done anything like that yet.

While Magnus was walking to the small office paying for the room, Alec caught a glimpse of a flaxen-haired man looking at his direction, supporting himself by a pole in the long porch. The signal was clear as daylight – Alec was too familiar with the lust and temptation behind one's face. Like an instinct, Alec strode to the young man who quickly went into a door marked 16, and left a gap.

Magnus was still in the small office. Alec thought a handjob or a blow wouldn't hurt. He was pulled into a kiss as he pushed the door slightly opened, the man crushed him against the door and shut it on the way. Alec complained when the handle prodded his back, "Aw, stop pushing me."

The man with pale colored hairs obediently did so and guided Alec to his bedside, himself sat on one corner and Alec remained standing between his legs.

His hunting eyes examining Alec's physique and said, "How much for a night?" The man was playing with his fingers, planting kisses on the back. Alec hesitated.

"A night? I can't make it. Twenty for a blow?"

Just before the man answered, Alec's stomach rumbled loudly. He couldn't help but blush as the man raised an eyebrow. They all liked his blushing.

"How about this. I give you food and you spend a night with me, huh? It's a good deal."

His hands were now caressing his thighs. Alec gulped and nodded. He didn't want to ask Magnus for money because Alec could take care of himself. There was something stubborn inside of Alec that Simon would scold at him when he refused to take free meals from charities. Maybe by doing this, he was not useless, not a child waiting for the feeding.

"But I can't right now. My… _boyfriend_ is here."

Back in Seattle his clients wouldn't do too much to him for they were scared of the gangs, scared of damaging their goods. But now he was alone in this. No one would protect him beside himself. The way to do so was by lying, pretending that someone would back Alec up if anything happened.

The man seemed to be amused. "Does he know you're doing this?" He stood up and went to the desk, throwing a plastic bag upside down and food falling out, some chocolate bars but mostly cup noodles. "You can take it all if you want. I wouldn't mind." Alec walked toward the man and grabbed most of it in his arms. The man chuckled and unpacked a bar, sticking it in Alec's mouth. Alec tongue wrapped around it, swirled the tip and swallowed it all while their eyes lined up, fires ignited in the man's baby blue.

A kiss on his temple. "Andrew. You?"

"_Alexander_."

His given name was now his street name. He wondered what his parents would think if they saw him like this. It wasn't that they would know, Alec wasn't planning on telling them. When it came to the point, Alec could be a good actor.

Got a spank on his butt Alec was on the way back to their room. Luckily Magnus just got the keys. He followed the taller man inside and showered first. Hot waters touching his pale skin and making it rosy, Alec absently fidgeted with his pendant. Out of the blue Alec didn't want to go. This was his first time ever having a client himself, he was not as confident as Magnus would help him out if Andrew suddenly stabbed him or strangled him to death. He was a missionary after all, not a gang member or body guard. Alec wasn't his good to protect.

He came up with a stupid plan. If Magnus did want him – which was nearly impossible – Alec would stay here and lied to Andrew that his boyfriend found out their deal. Yes, a reasonable excuse.

However, Magnus happened to choose stay away from Alec no matter how hard Alec tried to seduce him. Magnus was indeed different from those missionaries he had encountered with; they usually would threw away their morals and get on to the sex after one or two teasing. And this Magnus wouldn't even look at him.

Furiously Alec got on his bed after Magnus told him to get lost. Pulling the comforter above his head, Alec returned to his own world. In this tiny space contained Alec's dream. He would imagine this was his apartment, maybe living with a partner and having a cat or two. It would be in a neat style, everything only existed for practical purposes. He could decorate it himself because it was his; in reality, nothing was his. Not even his body.

Magnus said, "Come on."

It was soft and awkward at the same time. Probably the man had never dealt with kids before. Decided to give him silence, Alec felt the weight on his bed reduced, and later the shower was on. Alec just curled his knees to himself, hoping everything would be alright. After this trip to New York, he could find his parents, a home and finally had something he could called his.

Magnus was asleep with his limps distorted. Alec felt safe listening to his even breathing. _You are creepy._ Alec thought to himself as he dressed. To be frank he wasn't that willing to meet Andrew. But a deal was a deal.

Discreetly he stalked to the door and wished it would open smoothly. As if hearing his prayer, everything stayed quiet. Peeping outside, no one was out. And so he slipped his body through the gap and closed the door without flaws. He strode to room 16 and knocked, Andrew soon appeared for the door.

Once Andrew laid eyes on him he smiled wildly and urged Alec to go in. It seemed he was pretty eager as he yanked Alec forward and pushed him on the sheet, covering Alec's body with his. Alec moaned when Andrew sucked on his sensitive areas and grabbed a fistful of pale yellow hairs. Tugging it a bit tightly, Andrew lingered on his collarbone and kissed it harshly. If Alec was right, it would be the only pleasure he could enjoy that night.

"Come here," Andrew pushed himself up and on his knees he pulled out his erection, "suck me off,_ Alexander_." Receiving the order Alec moved downwards and pumped it a few times before engulfed the whole thing; immediately Andrew sighed, nails leaving red lines on Alec's back. _This will be a long night._ Alec knew.

He only returned to their room the next morning and surprisingly to find that Magnus was still asleep. He thought missionaries would wake up early, apparently not.

"Magnus." Alec said.

He shook Magnus's hip, which wavered following his movement. No signs of waking up, Alec moved his target up to his shoulders. Giving a few shakes, still no response. Alec started to think if Magnus was dead – but no. He checked by placing his finger under the nose, constantly air was blown out. Out of desperation Alec slapped him.

The green eyes darting around the room unfocused.

"Finally, I thought you were dead."

Slowly the pair of piercing green pupils staring right at him. "Where were you last night?" Alec was shocked. How did Magnus know he wasn't here?

"I was here all along. I didn't go anywhere."

He hoped Magnus would drop it, yet he was persistent and continued to question Alec's whereabouts. He was never good at being interrogated.

After he shouted out the truth and explanation, they both fell in silence. He had heard that missionaries didn't like prostitutes and they tried to reform them. Alec sat on his bed uncomfortably, afraid that Magnus would leave him behind because he wasn't worth saving.

Therefore, Alec didn't expect the question from Magnus. "Who is he?"

Wouldn't dare looking at Magnus, he turned his attention to the lamp instead. He wasn't supposed to name any names. It was their _ethics_. An unspeakable rule among them. Repeating the question, Alec could see Magnus was mad.

"A guy."

However, Magnus was very keen on the matter. Alec said indifferently, "Just let it go, it's not a big deal." Indeed it wasn't. But possibly in Magnus's eyes it was a sin. He asked for Andrew's room number, which Alec definitely not giving him. The sex was just a trade with consents, they were both voluntary to do it. There was no one to blame.

Then Magnus grabbed his stuff and stormed out of the room. "Wait!" Alec yelled, not wanting to be left behind. The motel was in the middle of nowhere, if he was going to New York, it would take much more effort.

Running after Magnus, Alec saw he was staring at the three guys few rooms away on the long porch. He took a quick glance and locked eyes with Andrew – the next second Magnus was jumping at the flaxen-haired man and punched him in the nose.

The whole thing ended up like shit. Alec banged his fists on the dashboard. "What the fuck were you thinking!" He screamed hysterically, watching Magnus's calm expression.

Magnus just looked outside the window. "He touched you."

_Everyone touches me._ Alec controlled himself not to say it out loud. Why did Magnus care so much? He was a missionary from a church, he was supposed to call him a filthy slut. And yet he punched Andrew for him touching Alec.

What did he ever do to deserve this?

They spent the next few hours driving and stopped at a gas station. There was a small convenience store, Magnus shoved a roll of money into Alec's hand and ordered him buying food while he himself went for the toilet. Alec shrugged and picked some snickers and chips, taking three or four packed sandwiches and breads for lunch into his basket. As he paid the food, he realized how much Magnus had gave him – it was a stack of twenty ten dollar bills.

He didn't know missionary earned that much. Having that much money in his hand made Alec felt so unreal. Eyes darted around to find there was only him and the cashier, he stuffed the rest into his pockets.

Throwing the food into the backseat, Alec waited a few minutes but still Magnus hadn't come back. Out of curiosity he went to check on Magnus and accidentally eavesdropped his conversation on the phone.

"… any idea of the truth. Can't you see? It's not the problem!" He was hissing at someone inside a stall, Alec couldn't help but feel bad for that person taking up Magnus's rage. "Sorry." Magnus apologized and soon replied an agreement. Alec decided it was time to announce his presence.

"Magnus?"

His own voice resounded in the small toilet. Magnus quickly muttered something and walked out of the stall, appeared to wash his hands. Funny thing was Magnus didn't flush. Alec stood in front of the mirror and watched every step of Magnus. On the phone Magnus sounded frustrated and irritated; but not because of the other person, Alec thought it was more to himself.

Magnus had helped him in the motel. He had to do the same too.

"Everything okay?" Alec asked concernedly. Magnus's face remained blank and replied, "Nothing to worry about. Let's go."

Obviously it was avoidance. Alec didn't comment as he respected Magnus's boundary. But it didn't mean he wasn't going to try testing his bottom line.

On their way to Idaho Alec grabbed a snicker bar from the backseat. He stared at Magnus more than he used to. Without doubt he was hiding something from him.

Feeling his intense glare, Magnus said. "What?"

Alec intended to pry a bit further. The thoughts scared Alec, which he wanted to know about this Magnus, this peculiar missionary from Institute. Magnus's frame wasn't as broad and built as his; to the contrary he was thin, yet it was comforting. His attitude to Alec was genial, different from those who had two faces.

Magnus just brushed him off like it wasn't his business. It wasn't but it hurt. People around Alec trusted him with their problems, from his classmates to the girl lived next to him in the shabby building to Simon. Maybe he was just a stranger for Magnus, a package to deliver. Once he finished his mission Magnus would disappear into the crowd and leave no trace in his life. It just hurt.

Turning his pathetic thoughts into hunger, he chewed snicker forcefully.

"Where do you _stepfather_ live?"_ Stepfather_ and only by mentioning it a piece of snicker caught in his throat. He managed to get it down and squirmed without acknowledgement.

"You can't be serious." His lips were trembling.

"Well, I told you back then. You should at least say goodbye to him. And Shoshone's on our way." Of course Alec remembered Magnus saying this, but he didn't know he meant it for real. It was his instinct to run away; he dropped his words. "No it's not." And then tried to jump from the car. It was reckless yet Alec would rather die than meeting _the stepfather_ again.

"Alec you better not." Magnus warned. He couldn't care less.

Dejectedly Alec found the door wouldn't open. Magnus noticeably relaxed by his failed attempts of jumping out of the car. But Alec would do anything to avoid the haunting town, if that meant costing his life.

He grasped Magnus's wrist and shook it vigorously, making the car zigzagging. "Let me out! Please just drop me here!" He begged, like the way he asked for a less heavy beating and mercy on his soul, a thing that he was never given.

Magnus tried his best to steady wheel, he shouted. "Stop it _Alexander_!"

It was like a spell that stunned Alec right there. At that moment Magnus was the blonde, the brunet, his stepfather, Bobby and many others – they would bellow at him whenever he did it wrong. And then punishments followed; Alec involuntarily coiled himself into a small ball, back pressing closely to the seat like it was a solid impenetrable wall. He couldn't hold back his tears.

'Don't do that again, _Alexander_.'

'You've disappointed me. I thought they taught you well.'

'_Alexander_, why you are such a bad boy? Why can't you learn?'

'If you're refunded,_ Alexander_, I am sure you will have to stay with us longer. And you don't want that, do you?'

He heard the engine stopped.

"What was that for?"

"I'm not going back. Never." Alec struggled those words out.

"Care to give me a reason?"

Alec let the question hang in the air. He wasn't going to answer that. It was a past that he had no desire to revisit. He had always dreamed if there was drugs or magic to delete one's memory. And if it did exist, he would be getting himself one for certain.

Distantly Magnus mumbled something before getting out of the car. After the door was shut Alec took some deep breaths and mentally reminded himself Magnus was not one of those people. So far the green-eyed missionary only sheltered him from harm and showed cares toward Alec. He wasn't one of those people. Magnus wasn't using him.

He lifted his head up once Magnus was back. He moved gracefully, Alec noted. Magnus threw his hands in the air as if demonstrating how dramatic it was, he said. "We're not going to your stepfather's. I have a friend living around here, we can stay there for tonight."

As soon as Alec got the news a stone was removed from his chest. Seriously he wanted to celebrate with fireworks. But all it came out was a nod and a small thank you from his lips.


	12. Chapter 11: Dreams, Doubts and Drunk

**Disclaimer:** All characters belong to Cassandra Clare and some scenes belong to the movie Transamerica.

**A/N:** More repeated scenes… And Vincent.

**Chapter 11: Dreams, Doubts and Drunk**

* * *

Magnus drove into a small town called Boise. Alec noticed they reached a less dense area of the town. Parked the car on the dim street, it took Alec some time to adjust in the dark. Led by Magnus, they walked through the small gate and was on a stone path, to their right a garden with white fences.

Alec studied the area; a tree taller than the house extended its branches and cast shadows over their heads. The different shapes of gray, yellow, green and red pebbles lined up a path leading to the front door, pots of flowers on the porch with a portable lantern hanging on the ceiling. It looked warm in orange light but Alec felt chills reaching his bones.

Quivering, Alec wrapped his arms around his body and restlessly adjusting the position of the pendant. The touch of metal calmed him down somewhat.

And Vincent – Magnus's friend – was kind of_ something_. He followed them into the homey yet unnerving house. The light was dim in the hallway. When the tanned man closed the door, Alec started to have goose bumps throughout his body.

"Mind if you introduce me your boyfriend?" Alec was taken aback by Vincent's interpretation of his relationship with Magnus. If they were friends, surely Vincent should know missionaries were straight. At least not gay. Magnus seemed to be confused too, "No. He's a friend, Alec."

Vincent reached out for a handshake, but this Vincent gave Alec a feeling of gruesomeness. There was no smile in his eyes.

However, it was not his place to doubt and it would make Magnus look bad. Alec pulled a hand out to shake with Vincent's. "And this is Vincent."

During Magnus's formal introduction, Alec noticed Vincent had a strong handshake and he almost broke his finger bone. The pain was still throbbing through after he extracted his hand.

The pair of milky green eyes landed on Alec's pale neck while explaining why he misunderstood. Alec instantly had his hand covering his skin, embarrassed but at the same scared. His scanning made Alec uneasy and felt like he was a prey, being watched by the predator.

After the dinner Vincent showed their rooms upstairs. And that was when the house and Vincent began to startle him. Without counting he knew there was 15 steps, this was his first time visiting this place but he knew the layout of upstairs before Vincent said so.

Master room was next to a guest room, study and bathroom opposite – the colors and patterns were way too familiar. This place was not right. When Magnus suggested sleeping together, Alec firmly refused. There was some investigation to do.

Alec chose the master room because of the door. The maroon solid wood door was whispering, coaxing him to get closer. He felt like he had seen it many times in his life. Closing his eyes Alec stepped in the master room and turned to face the door once he locked it. He imagined what the room looked like.

The wallpaper was plain light blue. A square window with no curtains right opposite the door. To the left of the door was an inbuilt wardrobe, the same color as maroon with sliding doors. Facing the wardrobe would be the double bed in wenge covered with beige sheet and had a matching bed end stool. Two nightstands on each side, one with electric alarm and one with scented candles.

His fingers trailed the petals craved elegantly on the wood. Still shutting his eyes close, Alec turned and leaned his back against the door. Counted to three he opened his eyes and froze in place.

It was exactly how he had envisioned. Everything was in the right order like the image he had in his mind, except for the candles and alarm. There was nothing on both nightstands. Alec wondered if he was nuts, or he could predict his future. He even had the number of sliding doors of the wardrobe right. Four.

There was no light in the master room. Alec couldn't see a switch or light bulb. He caught a glimpse of green through the window and he marched, found out the room was facing the garden.

His disturbed blue eyes darting around. This room was intimating a message yet Alec couldn't figure it out. There seemed to be a fog surrounding him and blocked his vision. Alec stumbled to the bed, and warily smoothed the creases.

His heart was pounding so strong that Alec feared it would rip his rib cage apart.

The sudden knocks on the door nearly made Alec fainted. "Alec, you here?"

He staggered to answer it, putting up an impassive mask. He opened the door to see Magnus cocked his head at him.

"You need me?" he asked. There was light coming from the study through the half closed door.

"No, just check up on you. Go to sleep, tomorrow we'll be leaving after breakfast."

Magnus stated with a small but earnest smile. Alec hummed and watched Magnus went for the guest room. He was struggling if he should call Magnus to stay with him for the night, but then he would have to give explanation. Would Magnus laugh at him because he was chicken-hearted? And would Magnus defend his friend rather than believing Alec?

It was too late as Magnus had closed the guest room door. He eyed the study room and retreated back to the scaring space. Alec was tired, after all the crying and such. But the thought of sleeping in _that bed _disgusted him. It looked comfortable and soft, but it was also bloodcurding.

Alec decided to sleep on the carpet. He rested his head on his arm, lying on his side next to the bed. However, whenever he was about to sleep he would feel everything was crawling to him and jolted him awake. Unprotected, weakness exposed. He tried different spots in the room but none of it could provide a sense of security.

All through the night he just changed positions nervously. Even the shadows of the moving branches penetrated through the window would upset Alec. Finally, Alec hugged his folded legs and sitting next to a nightstand, his back touching the wall. He knocked his head lightly on the nightstand, eyes followed the moving shadows on the floor. It was only about dawn he fell asleep.

* * *

Alec was lying on the bed light-headed, eyelids uncontrollably falling down despite of his protest. Battling the tiredness Alec propped himself up, almost fell back down when he saw dots and lines of blood on the white sheet through the orange light coming from the window.

What terrified him was that he was naked and dry blood clotted on his thighs. His face was sticky. Clothes were scattered on the floor, some his some not. His school bag in front of the wardrobe. Ignoring his snapping bones and sore muscles Alec put on his shirt and jeans quickly, whimpered a bit when the denim rubbed the fresh cuts. The thought of running occupied his mind.

He faltered on his way to the window. A small distance yet it cost him great energy. He pulled his remaining strength to push the sash up and stuck his head out, noted a tree was in front of the room and not far a stone path leading to the gate. At that time Alec didn't care how high it was, he had to jump and get out of there.

Crawled out of the window with his hands on the sill, Alec hung mid-air. Took a deep breath he released his grips and landed on the lawn heavily. Luckily, he didn't sprained his ankles. Without his shoes his soles were touching the shaved grass.

Without a second thought he ran. He wouldn't dare going into the city, having people seeing him like this. He took the single lane road on the back of the house and trotted like hell was on his tail. Alec ran for hours and soon slowed down as he reached the highway when the sky went totally black. Suddenly a car pulled over and a head peeked out.

* * *

Alec jumped and banged his hand on the nightstand. It was the same room – the one in his dream. Panic, he almost hopped out of the window. But he remembered Magnus. _Magnus is next door._ Alec rushed out of the room, relaxed as he saw no one was outside. He dashed for the door, shoved it and exhaled deeply when a ball of black hairs sticking out under the quilt.

_It was just a dream, Alec. Don't be a coward._

The electric alarm on the nightstand said it was nine in the morning.

Again changed into a cold impression, Alec slapped Magnus right on his cheek. Magnus moaned in sleepiness but still sat up and rubbed his eyes. Knowing Magnus was really there, existing and breathing, Alec turned and went out, wiping sweat from his forehead.

He could smell the burning bacons as he walked downstairs. Getting into the dining room Vincent was in the linked kitchen cooking, humming a cheerful tone while putting the bacon and eggs on plates.

Magnus walked in just after Alec got himself a chair. He saw Vincent was busying himself in the kitchen he immediately said, "There's no need to make a feast. Just eggs and water will be fine."

"Let me Magnus. I rarely have guests coming over. Get yourself a seat and wait!" Vincent sang joyfully.

The second the plates was on the table Alec took his fork and dug into it. Simon had told him it wasn't healthy eating so fast, old habits die hard though. He wasn't oblivious to the glares from Vincent like he was his possession. It reminded him of others for the way he looked at him.

"Didn't sleep well?" Magnus asked. Alec wondered how Magnus knew this, shook his head and proceeded to jab more scramble eggs in his mouth. During the action he made a glance at Vincent, checking if it was _really Vincent_. Not anyone else.

Rubbing his full stomach Alec followed Magnus to the front door. Vincent was holding the door for them, smiling. "Enjoy your journey!"

When Alec was about to step through the threshold he felt an intense sensation of danger nearby – his body flinched away from the stretching arm of its own accord.

From the corner of his eyes Alec could see the frightening grin on Vincent's tanned face; he was grinning but not exactly like that. Eerie and artificial.

Alec caught up to Magnus and clasped his elbow, leaning close. He didn't question him why, just turned his head around and waved his hand goodbye. Hating to let go, but Alec had to when they got into the car. He exhaled the breath he had been holding and quickly buckled his seatbelt, fiddling with his pendant.

He desperately wanted out, out from this creepy and strange atmosphere. But Magnus stayed motionless, spacing out.

"Are we not leaving?"

Magnus's green eyes sparkled again, snapped back from his thoughts. Alec's heart skipped a beat when Magnus flashed him a smile while igniting the engine. His palm supporting his heavy head, Alec leaned to the window sill.

Magnus was superior among others, Alec registered. He looked part Asian, straight nose and reddish lips. His brows knotted in annoyance when the same song repeated in all radio channels, and turned it off after a while.

Sometimes he would mumble something, plump lips parted and closed, allowing Alec to outline them. They were soft and lustrous, kissable. Closing his eyes Alec pictured what it was like kissing Magnus. He would be gentle, of course, matched with the way he treated Alec. Taking each step slowly, Alec would press his to Magnus's and enjoy the nectar. Their lips lingered, because both of them wanted to immerse in the moment. To feel the peace the kiss could bring.

His imagination disrupted as his head hit the window glass. Alec hadn't even realized he was dozing until then, having an illusion of the kiss was real. But it would never be. Magnus proved himself at the motel was totally uninterested in Alec sexually.

Alec couldn't believe he went with this missionary without any hesitancy. Simon must have thought he was stupid to go with a stranger. He knew it was reckless. Yet it was put aside when later on that day Magnus held him in his arm.

His tense body eased once he touched the brown skin. The warmth fought against the cool breeze, they were walking in the empty street. He felt protected, that he could depend on Magnus. Alec had wished he could stayed in the embrace forever.

It was different from Simon. Simon for him was more of a friend, above friend maybe. But he never once have the idea of spending their life together like a couple would.

Magnus cared about him. If not, why would he help Alec escaping from the neighborhood and punch Andrew on his face? He might be a missionary, however, he need not did all those things.

He never blamed him, even Alec was involved with his will. He felt guilty to Magnus believing him wholeheartedly because Alec wasn't that good of a person Magnus thought he was.

He wanted to meet his expectation; he craved for Magnus's trust. Trust was earned, Alec had learnt that. Thereby, Alec told Magnus about the previous night in Vincent's house.

"Vincent?" Magnus said worriedly.

"He is familiar, too. I felt like I know him. The smells, the colors, the bedroom. Everything was. And last night I couldn't close my eyes because if I did, the walls were closing on me and I couldn't breathe. It was suffocating."

He didn't answer. Would Magnus think Alec was sowing dissension between him and Vincent? His troubled expression left Alec startled. _Please believe me Magnus. I'm not a liar._

"Just forget it."

"Well," Magnus said. He didn't sound angry. "I've seen a lot of cases like you. A déjà vu." Déjà vu, he heard about it before. Zareb had taught him plentiful of fascinating scientific concepts. There were many explanations about déjà vu, Zareb had talked them through; but Alec just remembered one.

"You mean like, I dreamt about the house before and last night I saw it, so I feel familiar?"

"Yes." Magnus nodded.

How then, would he dream about it? He supposed no one could understand how the brain functioned. Sometimes he thought he had lost control over himself; his mind would think of something fantastic when Alec was working. One second he was touching someone's bare skin, then next, it would be decorated by inks. They looked like symbols covered all around the body and disappeared after a blink.

He took the answer regardless of his doubts. Alec would be a good boy.

Around afternoon they refilled the tank and had their lunch in a gas station. Magnus was washing the windshield with provided tools. His muscles tightened and relaxed as he was squeegeeing, tanned skin shining under the sunlight. Alec turned around to look at the map, instead of Magnus.

Magnus raised a few questions about his work. "How much do you get per assignation?"

Magnus had not once asked upon such matter. Alec figured it was a taboo for a missionary, trading of sex and all. So he was surprised when Magnus said that.

"Why?" _Why Magnus, you're being so good to me?_

"Measuring your quality of living."

Alec didn't know what that meant. He understood every word of it yet confused at the combination. About how much he got paid, there was a menu. Simon told him after the blonde tried to persuade him to _have some fun_. A normal night would be forty to fifty, no special requirement. Alec guessed it differed from each, as the girl next door charged lower than that.

"It depends." Different items had its price. Alec added to himself.

Staring at the map absently, he could hear the pesky sounds of rubber brushing against the glass.

"Why do you believe in God?" Alec was curious why Magnus would become a missionary. Pity, too, since Magnus was _so hot_ and stood his ground adamantly facing his seduction. Just a kiss would be enough yet Alec couldn't ask for that.

"God gives me power and he creates all the wonderful things for us to appreciate. It supports me through my hard time. He loves his children." Magnus explained without abandoning his duty of cleaning.

_Love._ If God loved him, why didn't he save Alec from the evils? Or Alec wasn't his children after all; he wasn't innocent and it was his job seducing people giving in to lust, one of the seven deadly sins. Alec was an evil.

"Pardon?"

Alec shrugged to answer Magnus, also to shake his thoughts away.

He noticed once again Magnus didn't pray before lunch. He never heard Magnus said prayers or seen his cross necklace. And the things he was capable of – like a member of a cult that could perform rituals and stuff.

He had met this woman, a network of blood vessels painted her pale transparent skin. Alec was called to her apartment, and she had this pentagon formed by candles in the middle of her living room, surrounding a symmetrical chalk drawing in the center.

She said maternally, "_Alexander_, come with me." Alec was led to her bedroom.

"What is that?" It was the first time he saw things like that; out of the ordinary yet had the power to draw Alec closer.

"It's for work. Now… it's time for you to work." She took her shirt off and exposed her breasts, just in time the Viagra took its effect.

In the next few years Alec saw those pentagons again, with different drawings in different weird looking people's houses. From the information he gathered from various sources, those are for a spell – summoning mysterious creatures such as demons which Zareb had mentioned. They were capable of doing other things too. Many of them, would tell Alec there was one who could summon everything and anything. A man with yellowish green cat eyes, most powerful among them all.

And what Magnus did when Alec was trapped in the neighborhood looked like a spell. Otherwise, was there any logical reason?

Finished his sandwiches, Alec looked up to the sky to find it was the perfect weather to camp, judging by his experience of being a boy scout. When he was still in school camping was his favorite; the fresh air and sounds of nature. It gave Alec a chance to forgive about the monster, about the boy he liked at school.

Therefore, he told Magnus they were camping that night. Alec would admit it was the rare moments in his life that he actually thrilled. He couldn't pull his stupid smile off his face.

Going through the store, Alec picked three blankets in dark colors. With his arms full, Alec managed to grab two cans of food each hand, soups and chickens. About to check out, a shelf of alcohol caught his attention.

He drank sometimes, either with his clients or Simon. At first he hated that smell. It stings and tasted like shit. Yet Alec had come to relish the bitterness and the burning throat as time went on.

He needed proper rest. The night at the motel he barely closed his eyes and last night at Vincent's house he couldn't get one either. Alec was young, he could survive a week with only naps. But he didn't want to; his body was failing if he continued on this behavior. There was too many things he longed to see, to experience. _Just one night,_ he swore,_ let me have the last drop of my life._

So he got the brand with highest alcohol content, secured it with his waistband and used those blankets as cover, then went to check out. The cashier simply asked Alec how many he was holding, completely unaware of the bottle stuck out from his belly. There was also no electronic article surveillance.

When he joined Magnus again he was already in the car. Glasses spotless and engine running, Alec slipped the bottle into the balls of blanket and stuffed the things into the backseat through the rolled down window.

"Buckle up." Magnus said. His dark green eyes landed on the seatbelt.

Sighed inwardly, Alec obeyed. On the road they didn't talk much, just enough to keep on conversation going. They chatted with no aims, both of them avid to get rid of the boredom. By nightfall Alec spotted a rolls of trees and called Magnus to pull over.

Magnus seemed anxious to sleep outside. He tried to act calm, Alec could tell, and made up excuse to indirectly oppose his plan.

"Alec, we can't leave the car out here. Someone will steal it and we have to walk the whole way!"

Gathering the blankets he bought earlier, Alec said, "Nobody would want that." It was ugly, old and cheap. Not to mention it was green. It wasn't the shade of green like Magnus's eyes but a bright green that every time Alec saw it, his eyes went watery.

They walked through rolls of trees and found themselves in an open. It was a beautiful place; some of his acquired skills finally came to use. Magnus was admiring the view, went near the lake and reached his hand into the water.

Alec kicked off some small stones and spread the blankets on the ground, both hands smoothing it as to check if there was any missing stone underneath. Knowing it was cozy enough, Alec sat down on the left facing the lake and took out the bottle he had been hiding.

Magnus returned from the lake and dropped next to him. While Alec was concentrating on opening the bottle it was snatched. He frowned at Magnus.

"Give it back."

"You're not 18 and you obviously stole it. Confiscate." Pouted, Alec watched Magnus took a swig and exhaled a satisfied breath. He bit his lips; Magnus's eyes was glistening green.

"That's a good whiskey." Magnus sighed.

Magnus claimed he was a missionary. But it was not permitted. "You are not allowed to drink, right? It's a sin." His mouth desired the sweetness after the flood of bitter. Reached out his hand Alec had the bottle back and gulped.

"God turns water into wine. Maybe this is whiskey, but they are both alcohol. God won't judge." After that Magnus laid on his back, crossed his hands to let his head rest on it.

Magnus was bullshitting. Yet Alec didn't air his opinion. He didn't want to think about those anymore, at least not at that moment. He just wanted to relax.

Took two more swallows, Alec reclined and closed his eyes. He spun the bottle on his belly, breathing in scents of grasses and trees, the coldness of stones. Under his command his brain gave up analyzing and let the tired body reposed.

Magnus praised him for finding such a nice place. Alec was delighted at his words but the reality recovered his sense.

"I was."

He used to be good, used to have an excellent performance at school, used to have a life. Alec propped himself up and downed the whole bottle. He wouldn't let those negative energy consumed him. His parents were waiting in New York and Alec would show them he had grown into a man. A man wouldn't be dragged down even he was battling on his own.

The bottle turned into numerous pieces of glass as it hit the hard surface of a rock near the lake. Alec took a deep breath and slumped down next to Magnus, snugged himself to the warmth, hands laying feebly between them. When Magnus touched his shoulder Alec thought he was going to push him away; instead he brought him closer and his chin brushed Alec's ebony hairs.

Magnus was wearing a plain yellow shirt that matched his eyes flawlessly. His compliments wasn't spoken since it was an inappropriate thing to do. The outstanding collarbone right in front of his eyes, Alec repressed the desire of fondling it.

A hand sneaked from the right picked up his pendant. Magnus was examining it under the moonlight in different angles. When Magnus flipped it to the back, Alec whispered.

"It's from my real parents." Heard his voice Magnus dropped the pendant and it fell on his chest. Zareb – Alec recalled, left him right after he saw the pendant. Why? Why? And why?

His tongue was out of control, vision was blurring like a screen covering his eyes. Then everything was spinning and sucked into a black hole.


	13. Chapter 12: Same as Others

**Disclaimer:** All characters belong to Cassandra Clare and some scenes belong to the movie Transamerica.

**A/N:** Some Sebalec and swearing. Next one we will go back to the present. Review for this long chapter please :D

* * *

**Chapter 12: Same as Others**

Alec was glad that Magnus was a deep sleeper when he woke up to waves of nausea. Speedily he disentangled himself from Magnus's arm and ran to a nearby tree, threw up disgusting semi-liquid form of scraps of food. His throat was scorching because of the acid. And his head was throbbing in dull pain.

"Fuck…"

His body stopped the gagging after there was nothing to expel from his system. Gathered his strength Alec shuffled to the lake and cupped the clear water to wash his face. Alec rubbed his face and stared at the reflection but it rippled as the drips of water landed on the calm surface from his nose tip.

The pendant was dangling mid-air, swinging. He remembered flashes from last night, Magnus was fiddling with it and after that it was blankness.

He made a short run to the car and got them those cans of food and bottles of water. During the way Alec constantly cursed to himself since he nearly tripped over the roots multiple times and the headache was making him dizzy. But he made it and threw the supplies on the blankets, sounds of soft landings startled the sleeping handsome.

"Hm… Morning Alec." Said Magnus, yawned and stretched, his voice cracked in the middle of the sentence.

"It's noon actually."

"Oh, afternoon then." He mumbled like a child just woke up in a holiday afternoon, stayed still for minutes waiting for his sleepiness faded away. His eyelids closed themselves and Magnus sometimes would lose his balance, body sloped to one side. But he soon recovered when the brain alerted him to sit right, preventing himself from falling on the blankets.

It was cute, Alec thought. He didn't know his age but from his appearance he couldn't be older than mid-twenties. Yet his behaviors didn't match; he had this patience most people didn't possess. And considerate, comparing to how self-centered humans could be.

Alec spoke, "I'm building a fire so we can heat up the cans."

Magnus plainly nodded and started to freshen himself. Sitting cross-legged, Alec set up the fire steps away from their blankets, piled up some withered leaves and burnt it with his lighter. The headache was unwilling to retreat, so Alec rubbed his temples to smooth the pain a bit. Even a bit could have helped.

Magnus returned and sat opposite, a pocket knife came out of nowhere in his hand. As he adeptly opening those cans, Magnus coaxed. "Hangover?"

It was soft, like he was speaking with love.

"Headache."

"Do you need pills?" Without looking at him, Magnus inspected the content inside the can. It was the chicken one.

"Just give it some time. You can put them in now."

Alec shockingly had a high tolerance level of pain. He didn't inform Magnus, feeling there was no need to. They were waiting for the food, poking the burning branches with a stick Alec took the opportunity to fill in his missing memory.

"Did we do something last night?"

"No. I won't do anything if you don't want to." It seemed Magnus interpreted it in the wrong direction, his head shot up to look at Alec instead of the flames.

Certainly it was a bad timing to blush, but he couldn't control his blood flows. Magnus saw his flushing cheeks and mouth agape with realization.

"Sorry. You just drank and slept." He explained.

Nothing happened. Yet Alec's ears caught the phrase 'if you don't want to' – did it imply Magnus have the desire? Could a missionary be gay?

Listening to the bubbles coming up from the soups, Alec dismissed the idea. Carefully he took out the cans and handed two to Magnus, who politely thanked him.

"Magnus, you are from New York, right?"

"Um uh." The taller man shoved a piece of chicken down his throat, chewing it as if it was made of plastic.

"What is it like living there? Does it like Seattle?" Alec hoped it didn't sound insecure; he knew nothing about anything.

Magnus muttered some answers and the conversation rolled on. Alec felt relaxed talking with Magnus, who always threw out sarcasms and jokes. It made him less worried about his future.

* * *

Magnus's long fingers was tapping the wheel following the beats inside his head. He smiled, "I know. Do you like him then? Not in a friend to friend way, let me state that first."

"Would you hate me if I say yes?"

This question was a test; many churches disliked homosexuality. Observing Magnus Alec guessed the Institute was not homophobic, but he wanted Magnus's own opinion. And maybe, if the answer was no, there could be the hope that when it came to the day Alec lost his control and kissed Magnus, he wouldn't push him off.

Magnus tilted his head to Alec, he swore his dark green eyes were looking right into his soul. The answer was already spoken when their eyes met; Alec could see the sparkles and gentleness in his features.

"No."

Screaming inside, the corners of his mouth flew upwards, way upwards as Alec thought later on. It worsened when Magnus smiled back. The little wrinkles appeared at the ends of his eyes, making his glare more intense. Alec turned his glance outside the window, feeling the heat of his cheeks.

On their long hours of driving they talked about _Lilith_. "Only the evil ones. I can't think of any reason why normal people would worship a witch." Said Magnus.

Alec hesitated. Zareb and other weirdly looking people always exclaimed with the use of Lilith, which Alec suspected it was like a God or something since he tried replaced them all with God, Christ and Jesus in the sentences, no feelings of strangeness. Although he left Alec without giving any explanations, Zareb was not evil. Alec was treated well in his hands.

Alec discovered that Magnus wasn't quite willing to discuss his missionary thing and this only further stirred up his doubts. Magnus transferred the topic back to Alec, asked him about his work and his goal.

Really he didn't think much about it because he had thought he was going to rot and waste his youth in Seattle. When he was back from work, aged hookers – both women and men – were wandering around the streets days and nights, no rest hour. Once in his life he strongly believed that it was his future; the time took its effect on Alec and he became unwanted, the gangs exiled him to the street because he wasn't profitable anymore. Alec could see himself fighting homeless for leftover.

"Maybe working in a pet store." Alec replied.

"You can always set your goal a bit higher. Like getting a degree or something."

"I like animals. People always say you should do what you have passion to. I used to have a cat back in Seattle."

It was undeniable that Alec loved reading, but he knew a passion to reading could never get him that far as to graduating from high school even. He failed every math test in school. Working at a pet store wasn't that bad of a choice, Alec always had a soft spot for animals. His stepfather had a raven named Hugo. Alec liked him very much despite the fact that Hugo pecked his hairs every time he went near the raven.

And Church. Alec would never forget every morning he would wake up to a ball of fur curling up next to his head and the purring. He was there whenever Alec was back to his room, meowing at Alec tenderly for food and scratching.

Magnus seemed to be amused, "A cat? I have one too, Chairman Meow. Yours?"

Alec let out a short giggle at the name. "Chairman Meow? Mine is Church."

Magnus's melodious laughter joined his; his Asiatic face lightened up. The causal side of him had Alec trapped. Magnus was holding the formless string that bonded to Alec's heart, and with each passing second he drew it shorter and shorter. It was foreseeable that Alec was going to fall hard for him. And this scared Alec.

"Now you're accusing me of naming a cat like that. Church? Really?"

Alec would never grow tired of the tuneful chuckles. He added, "That's because I found him crawling at the door of a church. It was raining and the poor cat was shaking like hell. So I took him home."

"I didn't see him that day."

"He ran away. I've never seen him again."

Of course. Church found himself a better owner and sometimes Alec wondered if it was cat's nature to be such cold. Church could have visited him, after all Alec provided him a place to stay.

Maybe it was his leaked emotion saddened the atmosphere. Magnus said sympathetically. "You can come to my place and visit Chairman. I'm sure he will like you."

Alec instantly lifted his head up after the invitation. It sounded like Magnus would like to stay in touch after they arrived at New York. At least that's what Alec understood from it.

Just by thinking about it, a grin crept to his face.

But Alec wasn't happy for that long. Another hour passed and Magnus started to behave oddly. He repeatedly rubbed his eyes and narrowed his eyes into small lines, hunching with his chin nearly rest on the wheel. So Alec left him alone, passed Magnus the sandwiches and water when he asked for it. At his current state Magnus even had difficulty finding the opening of the plastic wrap and groaned lowly when he failed, his eyebrows furrowed in annoyance.

The dinner was messy and haste, crumbs all over the seats and mats. His worry deepened when Magnus required him to drive. They stopped and exchanged position. After that Magnus seemed to be in torment, his jawline became more evident, gritting his teeth tightly.

"Magnus are you okay? Do you need anything?" Alec trembled concernedly. He wasn't used to seeing Magnus like this.

But all he got was illegible muffled sounds. Magnus was covering his face with his palm, violently shook his head and cleared his throat before he cracked, "Find us a motel, Alec. Just do it."

The order was authoritative. Alec figured Magnus was an adult, he had the ability to judge what was good for himself and thereby he put his attention on the search of motel.

Alec looked at Magnus from time to time, heart almost broke into pieces as he noticed the change; at first Magnus would mumble something, but now he was resting his head on the window sill, panting heavily. Tightened his grips on the wheel, he prayed to whatever Gods he could that there would be a motel next mile.

Yet, just like any other times, when it came to emergency his words didn't reached to the deities. There was none in sight.

It seemed Magnus crossed his limit. Magnus wailed. "Stop right here I need to get out."

Smelled his pain Alec quickly stomped the brake and the tires screamed as the car halted next to the road. Magnus fumbled the door handle and lurched out, running to the back. Alec turned his body to find Magnus bending down, disappearing behind the car.

Alec suppressed his eagerness to check on Magnus, there was not much he could do. But it didn't stop him from watching Magnus by the rearview mirror, waiting for his body popped up.

And this, turned out to be the biggest mistake in his life.

He could hear the whoosh from a moving truck and Alec's breath hitched when he saw Magnus from the mirror. The pupils, were slit like a cat, like Church's would do under strong light. And it was bright in yellow-green, not the dark shade of green. Magnus's face twisted in anger and cursed; but soon disappeared again, leaving the empty road in the mirror.

What was going on? No one – no one could have those eyes. Not ordinary people at least. And Magnus's eyes were catlike.

Magnus was now striding back into the car. Alec took some deep breaths and attempted to calm down. Oblivious to his changed mood, Magnus sighed with hints of humor in it.

"Wow, that's a relief."

Taking a good look at Magnus, his eyes were normal in the color of dark green.

Alec watched Magnus fastened his seatbelt, said barely with his constricted throat. "What were you doing?" His mouth dry.

"Call of nature." Magnus flashed him a smile, which at that moment it appeared artificial. Alec bit his trembling lips and started the engine again, avoiding to look Magnus in the eyes.

Magnus was never a missionary, never sent by the God, never from a church called Institute. Those people said, a powerful man with catlike eyes. A cult member that could do summoning, that's what he did. Alec felt like lashing out, his nose feeling funny. Vision slightly hazy, he tasted iron in his mouth.

He didn't want to be in a same room with this stranger.

Finally near midnight they arrived at a motel. Alec parked it at the front and jumped out the car, shut the door violently. Yet Magnus seemed ignorant to his action, simply told Alec he was getting them a room and ordered him to stay there.

The fear of unknown – always the greatest and easiest to crush one man down. Alec didn't know what Magnus wanted from him, if he wasn't a missionary. He wasn't doing good deeds for God because he never have a belief in one.

Why he hid his real identity? And what was he going to do with Alec once they got to New York? Did he pretend to like Alec so he would be his boy toy, followed him like a lost puppy? Gnawing his lips painfully, he controlled his urge of bursting in tears. He didn't know this Magnus. He didn't know what Magnus was.

"Alec, get your stuff."

Magnus said walking toward the passenger seat and grabbed his, motioned Alec to follow him. With his disenchanted heart Alec took his bag and climbed the stairs.

The room was in the second floor, facing a pool. Silently Alec tossed his bag on the bed near the door and slumped on the soft bouncing mattress. It was supposed to be comforting.

Magnus hadn't said anything and walked straight to the bathroom. Not long after that Alec heard the water running. He pushed himself up and leaned to the headboard, his fingers shaking – nicotine. He needed a smoke.

Quickly he fished out the pack of smokes from the bottom of his bag and lighter from his pocket, lit a cigarette and took a long, deep drag. Eyes half-lidded, Alec hummed as the heated air running inside his lungs. His moribund heart, seemed to be warmed up too.

He hissed when the ashes fell on the back of his hand. Alec nipped at the butt and tossed the nightstand upside down to find an ashtray in one of the drawers. He found a digest about cars, too. Dropped the ashtray and the digest, he sucked in a breath strongly and once again laid back with his nerve relaxed.

Fidgeting with the smoke, Alec wondered if that was what Magnus was doing, hoaxed a homeless teen and let him surrender under his merciful ruling, then twiddling the helpless life within his fingers like a game, a toy, a puppet.

* * *

Alec was napping, getting some rest before his night's assignment. Suddenly his door was kicked opened, the brunet shook his shoulders.

"_Alexander_, wake up." He groaned a little, but did what he was told. The brunet shoved his fingers into his ebony tangled hairs, proposed a plan.

Looking at the brunet shockingly, Alec asked quietly. "Are you serious?"

If Alec could run away without being caught within a month, he said, he could have his life back. Free like a bird.

The brunet nodded and added, "Everyone under us has this chance, and you're not exceptional."

He indeed tried. He met a client who would provide him a hideout in exchange for his service. With no other choices Alec agreed. He thought, after a month he didn't have to listen to them anymore. He ran to another side of the city, only came out at night with his hood on.

Yet he had no idea it was all just a game until he was dragged back by the body guards into his room at the near end of 30th day. The blonde choked him on his mattress, eyes blazing.

"My dear _Alexander_, you've proven your disloyalty. What should we do to you now?"

Alec could feel the heavy breaths on his face. The brunet lazily leaning against the door, playing with his hairs.

"Look at me, _Alexander_." The blonde's eyes were cold and dangerous, the force strangling his neck increased. "You should have known better. You should have."

He whispered into his ears and then withdrew himself, a cutter knife waving in front of Alec's frightening blues. The next second the brunet was next to them, hands sneaking under the blonde's thick torso and undressed Alec. After that, a much colder hand replaced the one on his neck, the brunet patting his head.

"We'll forgive you, sweetie." He kissed on Alec's sweating forehead and caressing his neck. Alec held his breath when he felt the blade touching his thighs, he cried, "Please… I'm sorry. I don't meant to do this, please don't do this plea – AAAHH!"

His scream echoed as the blood streamed down his skin and stained the mattress. The shape pain never ended until one of the guards knocked on the door, reporting a robbery in their territory.

A hand grabbed a shirt, messily wiped the fresh blood on his tremulous body. They just left them there, and said how much _the others_ had missed him. The guard kicked him on his ribs and Alec curled into a ball, wishing to vanish in this world.

* * *

Without knowing Alec had already smoked about half of the pack, blankly staring at the page of the digest. The substance allowed Alec to forget about the horrible situation he was in, for few valuable minutes.

The door of the bathroom appeared the liar. Alec glared at the man who was wearing a pair of formfitting denim jeans and a white T shirt with the word_ my bedroom_ in the middle. Magnus put up a small smile.

Alec wasn't willing to believe Magnus was the same as others, trying to get a hopeless teenager fell in love with him and handle him.

He thought, _if you say it now, I will give you a chance._ He didn't want to give up his relationship with Magnus, even it was all about lies. There was room for redemption, he just needed a confession and he could leave the past behind. He could be the fool, Alec wouldn't mind being laughed at as long as he didn't know people was talking him behind his back.

"Do you have anything to tell me?" His voice was unsteady, with each word his confidence slipped away.

Magnus was taking his old clothes into his arms, "_No._ I'm going to do the laundry, anything you need to wash?"

_Nice answer._ Alec snorted and sneered, shaking his head.

The man stood there a while, looking at Alec. From his sideway glance, Alec saw Magnus closed the door behind him. Quickly he threw the digest at the end of the bed and buried his face into a pillow. He screamed into it, hoping to muffle some of the noise. Then he banged his fists on the soft bed for whatever how long, his body yelling for release. _Release for what?_ He couldn't comprehend, he simply stormed out of the room with his cigarettes. There was a fire consuming his organs and he needed to cool down.

Skipping some of the steps Alec reached the pool. He sat on his ankles by the edge, drowned his head under the water for seconds until his lungs urging him to get oxygen. Throwing his head back up, Alec gasped. He sat there for some time, his brain again yearning for nicotine. So he lit a smoke and rolled his jeans up, sitting on the edge of the pool, completely unaware of a shadow behind him.

He thought it was his chance to finally be happy. Now he didn't even know if Magnus was taking him to New York, probably he would just use him and discard him aside like any others. Why was it so difficult finding someone he could trust?

Angrily he kick the flat water and let his clothes wet from the splatters. His hands clutched into fists. He was mad with himself, an idiot. He should have known that. He should have. Nothing that good could have happened to him.

"Hey, dude."

Alec was startled and dropped his smoke on the ground as a voice came behind him. Turned his head around there stood a blonde with his upper body naked, his irises green liked Magnus. One corner of his mouth upwards, smirking captivatingly. He walked and crouched down next to Alec, picked up the dropped cigarette.

"What are you dwelling in?"

His eyes were different from Magnus, though they were green. Alec gulped before taking the smoke from his outreached hand, said lowly. "Nothing."

The blonde raised his eyebrows, not believing Alec. But he didn't ask any further. Extended his hand, "Sebastian."

"Alec." He took it and shook slightly.

Sebastian seemed joyful for Alec telling him his name. He nudged Alec with his shoulder and soon stood up, making Alec lifted his head up. Staring down, Sebastian invited.

"Swimming?" Affected by his grin Alec smiled a little and lost in his beauty – he was not a thing like Magnus but still he was a handsome fellow. The teen waved a hand before him, "Hello? Alec you there?"

Snapped back from his thought Alec blushed against his will, shaking his head.

"Alright." Sebastian then dove into the water and the splashed water landed on Alec.

"Ow!" Complaining, Alec tried to light his smoke again but failed. He pouted as the blonde broke the surface, only his eyes above the water, some bubbles stirring the water. Sebastian floated around with his smile, "I'm not sorry, you know."

Sighed wearily Alec muttered. "Never mind." He took a new one out, leaned close to the lighter and successfully lit it. Put the lighter on top of the pack Alec exhaled the white smoke and closed his eyes, exploiting the rare seconds of calmness.

Sebastian moved to Alec's direction, propped his elbows over the edge to Alec's left.

"You're alone?"

Alec twisted his fingers a little, kicking the water awkwardly. "No. I'm with… Someone." He didn't even know who to call him anymore._ Is Magnus his real name?_ Alec pondered.

"Oh?" Sebastian widened his eyes, "As in travelling buddy or not available?"

Subconsciously Alec staring at his moving lips. "We're not together." As if trying to cover his nervousness Alec removed his attention to his feet.

"Good to know," He nodded to himself, staring into the brushes not far behind them. "I'm by myself and I don't want to be alone tonight."

Stopped his breath midway, Alec met the teen's gaze and he whispered. "Me too."

Sebastian chortled, his eyes liked a pair of crescents. "Wanna ask me out?" Received a wink from the teen, Alec couldn't help but laugh loudly. He wondered if this was how he looked like in others' perspectives.

It seemed his laughter was contagious, as Sebastian grinned broadly at him while rubbing the back of his head. Getting a smoke lit, Alec listened to Sebastian's ridiculous stories. Those are lame yet Alec found it quite entertaining.

"I know this girl, a bully in my class back in the high school. One day we just couldn't take her anymore, so we took drunk picture of her and post it online. And…"

"And?" Alec fixed on him curiously, hating Sebastian paused at the important part. Leaning forward a bit, the blonde took his chance and grabbed Alec's collar – pulling him down in order to whisper into his ear. An unnecessary gesture though he didn't mind.

"I took her virginity." His euphonious voice accompanied by some air blew into Alec's ears, he flinched a little. Eyes dilated, Alec looked at him in shock. With an uncontrollable snicker, he asked. "Really?"

Sebastian released his collar and let Alec draw back, replied with his greens glinting as if he couldn't believe himself either.

"Yup. And it was so bad that I don't want to think about it again."

Roared out laughter Alec threw his head back, smoke jetting out from his mouth. Shaking his head, Alec said between breaths. "You're unbelievable."

High school was too far for Alec to reach. And simply by listening to Sebastian's stories he felt contented. It filled up his empty life.

"I am."

Alec took a drag with his smile, kicking the water absently. "Give me some, would you?" Sebastian inquired.

Looked at the blonde sideway, Alec got himself one more before he handed the smoke out.

"I don't mean it like that."

Before Alec could register his words, Sebastian launched to him and wrapped his arms around Alec's neck, next second a pair of soft lips crushed to his. Jerking his hands, Alec stiffened by the kiss. Although the blonde took him by surprise, Alec responded the kiss right away. Distraction would do him good, taking Magnus off his mind.

Getting permission Sebastian dragged Alec into the water with him, Alec shuddered when the water doused in his thin shirt. Being pushed, his back touched the wall of white tiles. He put his hands on Sebastian's shoulders, a burning smoke between his fingers.

He felt a tongue licking his lips asking for entrance. The image of Magnus and him kissing flashing in his mind; Alec noted to himself, _don't think about the liar, just enjoy it_. Parted his mouth Sebastian instantly invaded with the flexible muscle, brushing the sensitive upper jaw. Moaning in pleasure Sebastian moved his hands from Alec's neck to lower, and lower. The blonde teen continued his passionate kiss while running his palms under the black T shirt, finding his way to the chest. He bit Alec's lower lip when Alec whined nasally, arched his back as his nipples being pinched.

"Alec!"

Sebastian jumped back a little from their attached lips, both of them looked up to find the source of the shout. Alec cursed when the familiar form was standing in the balcony. It was Magnus.

"I need to talk to you!"

Closed his eyes and sighed, Alec mumbled, "Sorry." and slightly he pushed Sebastian on his shoulders. The said teen obeyed but grunted, seized the smoke from his hand. His stomach churned; _Magnus is going to think I'm a slut_. Getting back on the ground his clothes clung to his body uncomfortably. Glanced up again, Alec saw Magnus was still there, eyes staring at him. He avoided the penetrating glare.

No. Magnus didn't need to think he was. He was a slut.

With no mood to retrieve his smoke, Alec walked straight back to the room. But he was stopped by a grasp on his shoulder, turning him around.

"Alec, is everything alright?" Sebastian asked as he released the grip and walked besides him, seemed determined to follow Alec to his room.

He said after Alec's nod. "I can be with you if you want. He looks scary."

"Yeah… Thanks."

Forced a smile, Alec went upstairs and Sebastian was behind him closely. Turned the knob and opened the door, Alec walked right to his bed without looking at Magnus and started to strip himself; he never liked being sick and unable to function properly for days.

"I'm Sebastian. You're Alec's friend?" His friendly enquiry was met by the remote response. "Magnus."

Yanked the shirt over his head and unbuttoning the soaking wet jeans, Alec said indifferently. "What is it?" He finally had the courage to look at Magnus who was wearing a hostile expression. His desire to go against Magnus inflaming fiercely.

"Can we talk in private?" Were Magnus scared? Alec wanted to question. Did he have any idea how it felt like being fooled around?

"I'll leave you to it."

Instead of letting Sebastian go, Alec stepped out from his jeans and dictated fearlessly. He had never felt this infuriate. "No, he'll stay."

The unexpected look on Magnus made Alec pleased; his green eyes glistening in surprise. Honestly Alec didn't want Sebastian to be here, but Magnus seemed bothered by it. So he wouldn't let the boy go away.

"What is it that he can't hear?" That Magnus was a lying son of a bitch. That Magnus wouldn't want his plan exposed. That Magnus thought he was a tramp.

Their stares met and he could see the anger behind the shocking unnatural greens. Backing down would not be his option; in this battle he was the sole warrior on his side. _Always_, Alec remembered, _only yourself you can trust_.

Sebastian intervened, grabbing one of his elbow softly.

"You know where to find me."

Knowing it would be gone too far if he insisted on his presence, Alec nodded and pressed their lips together, making a rather loud sucking sound when they separated.

After Sebastian's leaving, Magnus said with jealousy stained his tone, "What's going on?"

It was a victory for Alec that he seemed losing his control and his façade cracked.

"What is it?" He sat down on the bed, folded his arms. _This will be your last chance, Magnus._

"Now you're using a question to answer my question? Alec I need you to be honest with me." Magnus was gazing.

How dare of Magnus, as if he the right to question him like this, as if he was his parents and it was his responsibility to educate him – honest, fucking honesty. How could Magnus have the dignity to confront him when he was the one hiding everything?

A laugh escaped from his mouth. "You want me to be honest." The boiled blood rushing inside his body so quick that Alec had to stand up, "It's funny, Magnus, because you are a fucking liar!"

Ended his yelling Alec strode away, both hands grasping his hairs tightly. He wanted to scream so bad and let out all his anger and frustration to Magnus, and let the liar have a taste of his suffering.

Magnus simply sat there rigidly. His face turned ghost-pale. Alec's knees were giving out; the balloon in his chest deflated when silence answered his desperate cry.

"Say something Magnus!"

_Please, just say anything_. Anything would be enough.

"I lied to you, Alec. I'm not a missionary from any church, I don't believe in God and – "

"I already figured that out. There is something else. Tell me," Alec wasn't sure if he could remain standing without looking weak. "are you a human?"

And Alec instantly knew the truth when Magnus shot him a glance of dread. His legs were shaking; letting the body take over Alec slumped on the bed, brain froze and iciness fused to his bones.

"How?" Magnus struggled hard to speak from the straining throat.

"I saw it from the rearview mirror. Your eyes. They are like cats, I know a human wouldn't have ones like that, do they? But then you came back like nothing happened, I looked at you and the pupils weren't right… not for you anyway." Alec wasn't going to be like Magnus, leaving everything unexplained. Everyone deserved the truth and he wasn't going to hide it.

"Do you have anything to say?"

Alec felt stupid that he had given Magnus so many chances to defend himself. He didn't even know what he wanted to hear from Magnus.

"I'm a warlock."

Suddenly he couldn't breathe – a warlock. Was every weird looking person having the pentagons a warlock? Was that what the cult was called? And really, what did this warlock Magnus want from him?

Alec walked to the front of Magnus, who now looked small.

"What do you want from me?" Heat steaming from his eyes and nose, and his cheeks. He threw his heart out liked the whiskey bottle and it shattered into million pieces. He did it to himself.

Not until Alec felt something wet his cheeks he found out he was crying, _fucking crying_ like a useless trash, he hated himself even more. A man wasn't supposed to have tears, they were for the weak. Quickly he wiped the globules and found it had no use. Alec shoved the hand away.

"Nothing. I told you."

No one ever did something for nothing. Another god damn lie. Magnus _was_ the others; he just wanted to use him.

"Then what, you just went to a jail and ask someone who needed help? You think you bailed me out and I'll let you fuck me?" Alec wept, seized the man's shoulders and shook it as if by doing so the truth would be revealed.

"Is that what you think of me?" Alec was simply a doll for release. A toy in their little games.

Magnus's hands gripped his wrists and tried to calm him down, "No no no. Of course not, Alec. You're not like that. It's not my intention to use you."

_Then what's the use of me?_ Alec asked inwardly. He couldn't convince himself why Magnus would treat him this good, if he didn't want Alec physically. What more could he provide, except this tattered body?

Unintentionally he focused on the circling on his wrists. It was so tender and gentle that made Alec had the delusion, which he was something precious. Alec missed his parents horribly; he wanted to touch their skins and hug them tightly, clutching at their sleeves so they couldn't get rid of him again.

Drowned in those strayed thoughts, the comforting gesture intensified. Tentatively he looked up to Magnus, the despaired and uneasy eyes were changing between amber and green like magic.

"Your eyes." Alec whispered through his tightening throat. Extracted himself from Magnus, he ran his fingers along the temple and down his jawline. "They are flashing green and yellow."

It was breathtakingly beautiful; regardless of everything between them, Magnus was alluring in his own exotic way. Surprisingly Alec found the color of amber matched Magnus more. And this was not the one he pretended to be.

Magnus panicked as quickly raised one of his hand and mumbled some phrases, but Alec didn't want him to be the liar that tore him apart alive cruelly; he was willing to give the warlock a chance to show the real Magnus. Alec realized then, he was this desperate to grasp at something and not letting himself fall, even if the something was a thin thread of straw.

"Promise me, Magnus. No more lies." He hoped he didn't sounded like begging, seeking the answer from the pair of yellowish green feline eyes. Eyes never lied.

Magnus said after a moment, his Adam Apple shifted up and down as he gulped.

"I promise. Do you want to talk?"

He gave out his words. Alec cast his stare down to his laps, as if there was something interesting. "Tomorrow. I'm tired."

He was exhausted from all of this disclosure. The things he believed in turned out to be fake and a hoax. He was this close to have a mental breakdown and he wasn't sure if his brain could function normally after all this mess.

Alec dragged his shell back to his bed, and returned to his little self-constructed world. He tried to cheer himself up by thinking about the joy of the reunion with his family, the prospect he could have. But it wasn't as effective as it was now. It was first time that he couldn't even cry himself to sleep.


	14. Chapter 13: Anchor

**Disclaimer:** All characters belong to Cassandra Clare and some scenes belong to the movie Transamerica.

**A/N:** The next chapter will be the epilogue… And both POV on this chapter:) But I'm not that happy about this chapter, since I feel the ending is rushed. Anyway, hope you all enjoy this!

* * *

**Chapter**** 13****: Anchor**

Magnus was lying on his side, listening to his own even heartbeats throughout the night, his eyes unable to close more than a few seconds. His mind had calmed down since the incident yet he constantly thought of the many possibilities of Alec's reaction if he dug out the ultimate fact – his parents were dead. Like beheaded dead. It would destroy the boy, as if he wasn't broken now.

After Alec tucked himself in Magnus had turned off the light for unknown purposes, since none of them were actually sleeping. He pulled the quilt over his waist and blankly staring at the ceiling. It was dark, his pupils slit as it supposed to be. Sometimes he would look at the lump on the other bed, the soft sobs and the suppressed trembling chilled his whole body in the mid-summer.

Magnus wanted to hold the boy close, tell him everything was going to be fine. But really, they both knew it was a lie; nothing was, and they wouldn't be in the future either.

The incident with Alec reminded him of how fragile a person could be. He didn't have the heart to see Alec like that, waking up and realized most of the things he lived with and relied on was actually bunch of bullshits. The boy had been though much, too much for people his age. It didn't differ from shadowhunters or downworlders. It simply was too much.

Magnus was ready to try and mend the fragments back together. Though there would be cracks and seams, and it would shattered again even with the softest stroke.

Sighed again, he listened to the coos outside. The sky was painted gold and orange. A sleepless night. Usually he was keen on his beauty sleep. But now beauty wasn't his priority.

Flipped to another side, Alec was still curling up and Magnus could hear nails scratching at the sheet. Small, but shockingly soothing. It halted to a stop when there was a knock on the door.

No one was speaking, the only sounds were the persistent knocks. Magnus rolled his eyes, cursing the person outside the door and got out of the bed.

A head popped out from a small opening of the quilt. The inky hairs were messy and struck out in different direction like a bird nest. Some strands fell over the calmed blues orbs.

Alec just stared at him, not uttering a sound. His eyes followed Magnus's walk to the door.

Before Magnus answered the door, he snapped his fingers.

Sebastian.

"Hey, Magnus. I was wondering if I could talk to Alec." The blonde rocked his body back and forth, looking nervous. Lips pressed into a line and he cocked his head, trying to peep over Magnus's tall frame.

"No."

With that, Magnus shut the door firmly. He never fond of blondes, most of the time they were more of a nuisance. Sebastian resembled Camille. Sly, and thought they outsmarted anyone else. He shuddered at the memory of Camille.

_Bitch._ Magnus spat.

Even the closing the door in Sebastian's face didn't cut off his determination. Magnus wondered what was so important that it couldn't wait.

"Let me see Alec! Come on, Magnus. You're not his father!" He yelled and yelled despite the silence inside the room.

Magnus threw his hands in the air annoyingly and returned to his nest, folded arms and landed on his right. Bare feet dangling over the edge, body relaxed with the smooth contact of the warm bed. The currently dark green eyes locked with Alec's.

It didn't contain anything, no sparkles, no fire. A life was behind those astonishing Carolina blue, he saw it, emptiness filled up the boy's eyes. Magnus held his breath when Alec opened his mouth.

"I'll answer it."

Two pale long legs shoved out from the pile of quilt and pillows, the slimly toned torso shook as the skin touched the cold morning air. Magnus rubbed his face on the pillow, watching Alec shuffled. Pink scars printed all over the young boy's body in different shapes. Strips, circles, splatters and dots. Most of them was a long time ago. It made a huge contrary to his bloodless skin, light brown and pinkish.

The line of muscles more obvious when Alec opened the door lazily by a small gap. Sebastian exclaimed as he attempted to grab Alec's shoulder, "Alec!" and which Alec stepped back and narrowed the gap an inch.

His small protest made Sebastian's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "What's wrong? Did someone do something to you?" Magnus felt the eyes on him, and he stared right back sternly. Soon he averted his attention back to Alec.

"I waited for you last night. Why didn't you come?"

Snorted, Magnus thought, _because he's with me._ Sebastian was a substitute, he was sure. Alec wanted to upset him, and successfully he did. Magnus had this floods of envy when he saw the boys at the pool and later on, the show-off kissing in their room.

He used the boy to protest in a subtle way. _It isn't a manipulative act_. Magnus convinced himself. Alec was too innocent to play tricks, at least not complicated one.

Alec hunched and seemed uncomfortable with the intense attention on him, said hoarsely. "I'm sorry. There isn't any excuse."

His knuckles turned white as he tightly squeezed the knob. He sounded apologetic, weak in the volume. Magnus could only hear him because of his excellent sentience.

Sebastian wasn't happy about it. His chest rising up and down in a rapid rate, face twisted in anger. "You're sorry, Alec? I worried about you – "

"I know. I should have sent you a message, but last night… a lot of things had happened and I don't want to talk about it." Alec interrupted, tiredness in his tiny voice.

"Okay. Then would you come with me now? We can have breakfast."

The blonde suggested, but Alec sighed.

"Sebastian…"

"Is that a no?"

Even Magnus wasn't standing near them, he could feel the atmosphere changed as Sebastian said those words. It was a threat disguised in soft pleading. Panic rushed through his veins, scared that Alec would submit into the hinted authority.

Both of them were longing to hear his answer. Magnus sat up as Alec slurred.

"Please."

This submissive response however, provoked Sebastian even more; he stepped forward and his shoulder crushed the door wide opened, both hands clenched at Alec's biceps. Alec was pushed backward, now both inside the room. Magnus quickly stood up when Alec let out a strangled sound from his throat and shrunk like a child, frightened by the aggressive move.

"Oh last night you enjoyed it so much and you're going to put me aside? Alec why would you do that? I thought you of all people would understand me."

His eyes were flaming in fury, arteries jumping under his forehead. Magnus hurried to push off Sebastian, his grasps on Alec loosened.

"That's enough blondie boy. Leave _now_."

Magnus said assertively, presenting his dominant side which amplified by the demon blood. Sebastian unconsciously retreated outside the door.

Alec exhaled a deep breath when the clutching hands released him; Magnus noticed he wrapped his arms around the scarred body and leaned close to him. He shifted his posture uneasily and for a second Magnus thought he was going to hide from Sebastian. So Magnus took a step forward and perfectly blocked Sebastian's view on Alec.

He put his forearms against the doorframe, spreading like the wings of an eagle. Looking down on the blonde, said with a rather rancorous tone, "Don't overstay your welcome."

Sebastian glared at him viciously and turned his heels, ran up to the staircase in the middle of the hallway. As the rapid footsteps faded away, Magnus closed the door.

When Magnus turned around he nearly bumped into Alec; he was standing still, quivering. Alec braced himself tighter, stuttered.

"Thank you."

Really, it was nothing. But there was a warmth air spreading from his heart and travelling to his limps. Smiling, Magnus hesitated to put a hand slowly on Alec's upper arm, allowed Alec to move if he wanted to.

"It's okay." He assured.

Alec flinched at first, to his closeness. Yet soon he lowered the arms wrapped around himself and fidgeting, with his eyes fixed on his toes. Magnus was fondling with sweetest touch he could give. They were so near each other that Magnus could describe every detail of the once melted skins. The smooth surface turned into ugly fleshes.

"Magnus, I…" His mouth agape, unsure about his request. Magnus stopped the soothing and all he could see what the boy's crown.

"I'm going to take a shower."

Without waiting for Magnus's answer, Alec hobbled his bedside and searched his bag, pulled a shirt out and grabbed the already dry jeans from under the bed, rushed to the bathroom.

It clicked as Magnus yelled a response. "Okay!"

He felt terrific, even there was only a tiny progress. Alec didn't escape from his touch and that was worth a party.

Magnus walked to the glass sliding door and looked over himself by the unclear reflection. Touching his brows Magnus discovered the blue glows dancing on his fingertips. The good mood made his magic leaked. He cast a spell to further extend the durability, feeling secure that he wouldn't expose himself in front of everyone.

He didn't bring much things with him, so he finished packing easily. Alec's bag was thrown on the bed, its content scattered after its owner's brutal search. Tilted his head to another side, the sun was up now, making everything under its rays shiny.

Alec was out from the bathroom ten minutes later, a dark grey T-shirt with a radioactive sign in the center and the usual holey jeans. He rubbed his hands on the denim.

His hairs damp and tangled, slightly better than the way he woke up with. And the hot water painted his pale skin pinkish.

"Get your stuff, alright? We're leaving after breakfast."

Said cautiously, Magnus saw Alec nodded and went packing. The teenager simply shoved the things in and tied a knot.

They locked the door behind them and walked slowly downstairs to the small cafeteria on the bottom floor. Since it was still early, there weren't many people inside. Only a pair of cyclists and a group of four college students. An unoccupied table was at the deepest corner of the room.

Putting their belongings, Magnus asked. "What do you want to eat?"

Alec replied quickly. "I'm not picky." His eyes concentrated on the white plastic table, drawing circles with index finger.

Raised an eyebrow, Magnus turned to see what was offered. There wasn't much, simple sandwiches with hams and eggs, bagels, cold pancakes and waffles. Also milks and juice boxes, next to a box of oranges. He didn't know what Alec preferred, so he got a small share of each.

Placing the full plates on the table, Alec volunteered to get them utensils and drinks. They sat opposite each other eating in silence, sometimes with a choking sound from Alec. The boy knew nothing about table manner, always dove into another bite before swallowing the chewing food. He would drink the apple juice in-between, hoping the food would slide down his throat with no resistance. He wasn't complaining though, it was the rare time of Alec showing his childish side. Alec had right to be.

There, he caught the glimpse directing at their table from the cyclists. The girls were whispering into ears and looked at them at time tentatively. Magnus returned the stare and one of them stood up, started to walk toward them.

The girl stopped next to him, hands at the back.

"You have a message from a guy, um, Sebastian?"

Magnus wondered what trick the blonde was pulling, but the girl standing in front of him seemed nervous. She was unaware of the situation, he could tell, and was only asked to deliver a message.

As he nodded, the girl had her palm up, revealed a small piece of folded paper. Blue inks on the pure white. Magnus expressed his gratitude before the girl went back to her own table, a grin on her face. It was then Alec aired his concern.

"Open it."

Within a few exchange of sentences Alec had already finished his breakfast, sucking on the straw of the juice box. And when Magnus unfolded it and read the elegant handwritten words, he groaned in frustration –

_"Enjoy your trip."_

It was never a simple goodbye. Magnus knew the type, they were all for applause, dramatic entrance and exit. They adored the spotlight. The paper was snatched by Alec, who was trying to lower the high volume of his burp by covering his mouth.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

Alec asked and frowned, putting the paper back down.

"Who knows? But surely Sebastian has done something bad."

Tapping his fingers on the table, Magnus watched Alec rested his chin on the back of his hand, chewing the plastic straw inserted into the empty juice box. The ocean blues peaking behind the curtains of black threads. The eyelashes moving like butterflies.

His humming stopped when Alec set his back straight, wiggling the box in his hand.

"What are you going to do with me?"

He out of the blue had the urge of running a trip to the bathroom. His guts tangling to form a knot. Magnus had not thought about it, since everything happened too fast and unpredictable. On his way to Seattle the idea of putting him somewhere else had crossed his mind; but now it changed. There was no way Magnus letting the boy out of his sight. He had amendments to make.

"I'm not lying to you when I said I lived in New York. Brooklyn to be precise. Before you have a place to stay you can live with me, I'm going to help you settling in New York."

"Why, Magnus?" Alec bowed forward, the juice box got abandoned on the side. His palms under the thighs.

"Why, what?"

Magnus asked with his gentlest voice as there was nervousness in Alec's tone. The boy was combing the ebony hairs to the backs of his ears way too often.

"Why would you help me? I mean, you, a _warlock_."

The word was touched by the slightest strumming of chords, as if he was a child mumbling newly learnt vocabulary, as if he was saying it wrong.

It was in his anticipation that the truth of his parents was going to be revealed ever since their encounter, Magnus just didn't expect it to be this quick. He sucked in a breath, thinking,_ screw you Lightwoods_. He was doing what was the best for Alec. Their lovely, invaluable son. Their promise of sealing his lips could be damned to hell.

"Alec, what I'm going – "

"Hey, anyone owns an old green car?"

A head popped out from the door, Magnus recognized she was the girl in the office. Old green car, it was definitely theirs. So Magnus raised his hand and said, "Us."

The girl announced worriedly, "Well, I hope you come out here soon because I saw from my office a blond guy was stealing it. I ran out – "

"WHAT?"

Magnus shouted, his eyes as big as tiger's. Shot up he dashed outside, shoved the girl away and the hideous green piece of scrap metal was indeed, disappeared from the parking spot. It was there when they went down to the cafeteria. But now it was gone.

"Are you fucking kidding me!"

That blond sprat Sebastian! They were not getting their car back for sure. And now they had to think of a way getting to New York. His hands grasping his hips.

Alec realized too it was Sebastian's revenge. He said as Magnus turned to face him. "Can't you do something? You're a _warlock_."

"Hon, I appreciate your high expectation of my ability. And you're right, I can do that but we're not to expose ourselves to mundanes. We belong to the shadow world, which preferably stays under the radar. There are rules and it is better not to break them. They exist for a reason."

Looking at him ashamedly, Alec apologized as if it was his fault.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know."

Magnus exhaled a heavy sigh, aware that his words came out more like a reproach. There was nothing for Alec to say sorry; he shouldn't for things he had no knowledge over.

"No. Alec, I'm the one who should. You can't be blamed for some stupid head's actions."

"If you say so." Though Alec said it, but Magnus was certain that the boy was in guilt.

They stood there for few wordless moments. Magnus was thinking about how they were getting back while Alec, playing with the hem of his shirt and head lowered. The swirl on his crown was presented clearly.

If it was before, Magnus wouldn't come up with such a plan; yet now Alec already knew his identity of a warlock who could do magic, there wasn't much to worry about.

"Alec, come with me."

He said striding back to the cafeteria, passing Alec with their shoulders brushed.

"What?" Alec questioned behind him, catching up to his pace. Magnus simply replied.

"Just come. Trust me this time."

* * *

For Alec traveling through portal could top the list of worst experience of his life. He was thrown on the carpeted floor so heavily that instantly his knees and palms reddened as he hissed, not to mention he felt like standing on a boat in an outrage storm. The dizziness made him stumbled, head spinning as if he was drunk. It couldn't get any better, when he was notified his bag was lost between the dimensions because of his loose grip.

Alec eyed the closing portal, watching it vanished.

As he was still struggling to get up, Magnus crouched down next to him and lazily waved his fingers, the scent of sandalwood immediately filled up the apartment. An arm wrapped around his back, pulling him up.

"Meow."

Find his feet, Alec heard a cry of feline and something rubbing his shin. Looking down despite of the giddiness, a cat similar to the size of a rat digging its claws on the denim, demanding attention. Magnus quickly spooned the cat up with one hand, another still holding Alec in place and buried his face into the fur.

"I miss you too Chairman."

However, the cat protested by pushing the zooming face away from itself. It turned its head around, and again mewed at Alec.

"Chairman Meow?" Alec asked. He wasn't as lightheaded as the beginning, so he extracted himself from Magnus. Magnus saw his action, dropped the cat and scooted the cat out of the living room. There was no candles or drawings on the floors, Alec noticed.

The kitten grumbled, showed its tiny canines before running off. Magnus sat down on the fluffy white couch and patted the space next to him.

"Sit down, don't just stand there like a statue."

He was always obedient to orders and this time there was no exception. Keeping a distance Alec sat on the soft furniture, unsure of what to do. It was his first time took part in a magic spell, and to be honest, he didn't like it for a bit.

Feeling the heat from his side he snuggled an itch to his right toward the arm of the couch. Now knowing Magnus was a warlock, Alec found that the taller man had a relatively high body temperature, which would be a great heating machine when winter came.

Alec wrinkled his nose; he shouldn't have thoughts like that. And he was angry with himself having wishful thinking and fantasy like a teenage girl.

"Better?"

The silky voice said from his left, Alec cocked his head to Magnus who was staring at him the whole time. The smell of burning sandalwood somehow calmed him down and warmed him up, Alec admitted. He was never a fan of scent candles or perfumes but this one, it smelled _right_.

Didn't trust his voice he cleared his throat and nodded.

Magnus sighed out his exhaustion, nipping the bridge of his nose. Elbows rested on his knees. "Remember our unfinished conversation at the cafeteria?"

"Of course."

"I have something to show you."

The taller man stood up from the comfortable couch, walking to a room. Skeptically Alec remained sitting, even when Magnus opened the plain door and entered the room. What was Magnus going to do to him? He could have set up a trap, one that Alec wasn't willing to fall in.

His dubious look must have been taken into Magnus's eyes as the catlike-eyed warlock glanced back and held the door, spoke. "Alec, can you have a little faith in me?"

He was leaning against the doorframe, arms folded. It wasn't Alec didn't want to trust him, he just couldn't think; his heart told him to stand besides Magnus while his brain told him not to be controlled by emotions. _This warlock can hurt you, and he's already doing it._

Escaping from potential dangers was a human instinct, but it was also one of them that they were attracted to self-destruction like moth to the flame. Magnus was out there, giving him warmth and direction; but at the same time he created an illusion of loving, leading Alec on.

Swallowed a gulp of saliva Alec stood up and shuffled to the opening door. Magnus smiled and stepped back into the room further, let Alec observe before entering.

Took a small peek Alec found it was a bedroom, which matched with Magnus's shirt. The very first thing he noticed, was the wall opposite the tidy bed; it was full of pictures, mostly Polaroids. Magnus pointed his chin toward the wall, encouraged Alec to go there.

"Are you going to tell me what this is about?"

"Just look, Alec." Magnus proceeded to sit on his bed, watching Alec's every move to the fully covered wall.

Assuming that Magnus wasn't planning to attack him from behind, Alec took a closer look on the photos. Not everyone had Magnus in them, but when he did, he would have this smile that could brighten the whole world. There was not once a repeated background, the only reoccurring was the people.

He saw a guy looked similar to him, black hairs and blue eyes. But he made out the combination difficultly as the colors of those pictures were fading. The guy always appeared with another male, pale and grey. They wrapped their arms around each other's shoulders in front of a giant field, grinning at the camera.

And there was three of them, Magnus and two warlocks, Alec deduced. A man with skin in green and two horns and a woman in blue. It looked like they were in a pub, drinks on the table. The green-skinned man stared at Alec grumpily, while Magnus holding the woman close.

Alec walked to the right, where freshly taken pictures pinned to the wall. Photos of a red-head lined up two rolls, a documentary of growing up. She was in the arms of a woman, then in the next one a brush in her hand, doodling on a plain white wall. She was drawing a symbol.

As he moved on, one caught his attention enigmatically.

A couple both with black hairs, looking into their partners' eyes. They were sitting behind a round table which had a cluster of blades and knifes, all kinds of weapons that Alec couldn't name. He couldn't see their hands, yet he had a feeling that their fingers entwined in an unseparated way.

He traced his finger on the picture, on the black symbols curling around their bodies. On their hairs, noses and necks.

"It's _your parents_."

Alec instantly turned to Magnus, who was approaching. _His parents_. Magnus knew them and they were close enough to have a place in the wall.

They were friends.

"Where are they, Magnus? Take me to them."

He asked eagerly, hands clutched on Magnus's shirt to beg. Alec could do anything to see his parents, anything. Meeting his parents should be a joyful idea, but Magnus seemed troubled by his enthusiasm. His slit pupils wavering, there was something unreadable in the warlock's glare. Alec started to doubt if Magnus was going to say anything.

"I can't, Alec. I can't."

"Why not?"

Alec took a step back and let go of the grips, staring at Magnus's weird gesture. He was hunching and looking at Alec funny, appeared to lose his strength._ This isn't happening. It can't be…_

"Why not?!" He said again, hoping it wasn't what he was thinking –

"They are dead."

It was a whisper that held the power to ruin; Alec stumbled back until he hit the wall, feeling dizzy all over. At the moment he couldn't care how many photos he wrinkled or smashed down, he just needed something to lean on.

As if it wasn't cruel enough, Magnus continued.

"They were _shadowhunters_. There was… a battle times ago within our world, the shadow world. And they lost their lives for the great cause. Alec, don't doubt their devotion for you. Your parents loved you more than anything in the world."

"Why did they leave me? If you said they loved me why did they give me up?"

He could feel the tears welling up, threatening to pour down like summer rain. Closing his eyes, Alec tried his hardest to repress.

"It's complicated, and I can assure you they had no choice but giving you away. Everything they did was to protect you, shelter you from harms –"

"Try me."

The next second he was in Magnus's arms, Alec was pulled into a hug as if the warlock was trying to melt him into his chest, so tight that he could feel the vibrations of the pounding heart.

Went with the flow Alec buried his face into Magnus's shoulder, hiding in the white shirt and bit his lips, repeated. "Tell me everything."

Magnus sighed, and started soothing his right hand up and down on his back, the other caressing Alec's neck. And soon he started telling the story of the infamous battle, the two soldiers fighting with allies against the dark shadowhunters. Alec listened carefully to his every word, trying to brand them permanently within inside. Because he could never meet them, never feel their embraces and those affectionate stare physically. And this was the only way he could reach them, having their touches on his skin.

"They asked me to send you away, so you wouldn't be involved in the mess and be on the list of wanted. They did so to protect you, Alec. You are the most precious thing to them and believe me, it tore their hearts to leave your side."

Magnus said nasally with the hints of remorse. "I promised them to watch over you; and I failed miserably. I betrayed their trust and yours, I failed all of you…"

Alec's arms wrapped around Magnus's torso, hiding into the warmth deeper. His tears choked his voice and wetted the shirt. He was being held closer when he was whining, shaking from the shock and sorrow. The patting never stopped.

"Don't say that."

Hearing Magnus's speech Alec simply held the man tighter. He did not know it was for himself or for Magnus, but it was the same thing they needed. The two of them leaning into each other as if their lives depended on it. They supported and sought warmth from the tired bodies, standing still and swaying like they were dancing slowly.

From that moment, Ale felt like he had discovered his anchor.


	15. Epilogue

**Disclaimer:** All characters belong to Cassandra Clare and some scenes belong to the movie Transamerica.

**A/N:** Thanks for all your support along with the story and I really hope you all enjoy my writing. At the end of this will be my new idea of a story, check it out!

* * *

**Epilogue**

It was a comfortable March afternoon, Alec was sitting on a bench in the platform, facing the hollow dark tunnel. His phone quietly laying inside his pocket, being tossed by the slender fingers. He was wearing an apricot woolen sweater which Magnus stole, saying the color matched his skin. Alec didn't give much of a thought on coloring.

Just the announcement of the arrival of incoming train echoed in the station, his phone vibrated.

"Simon?"

"Hey, Alec. I'm in the middle section."

"Alright, don't go anywhere."

Put his phone into the jeans' pocket Alec stood up and started walking. Simon was standing still in the platform not far away from the exit, waiting for Alec to reach him. Their eyes met and that instant both grinned at each other.

"Give me a hug!" Simon exclaimed as he opened his arms, expecting Alec to fly into his embrace. Of course Alec wouldn't do so; the vampire pouted after Alec punched him lightly at his bicep, said childishly.

"Ooohhhh, I'm hurt."

He soothed his chest, looking at Alec rather plaintively. Alec chuckled when he took the suitcase from Simon's hand.

"Don't start."

They climbed the stairs and soon arrived at Taki, a place Magnus introduced Alec to. To be honest Alec preferred mundane food, but with Simon he thought Taki would be a better choice. After the waiter led them to a table and wrote down their lunch orders, they went with their routine.

"How is your mother doing?"

"They are having a wedding, which, I would like to comment – VERY exhausting."

Simon complained, resting his elbows on the edge of the table. He hadn't changed much, but he was paler than the last time he saw him, which was already half a year ago.

"You must include me on the guest list, I'd love to attend."

Said wholeheartedly and he received a snort from Simon. "If you like to torture yourself by listening _superb sugary vows_ I guess there's no stopping you. I'm warning you though, don't laugh when you see me."

He had heard that Simon would be the flower boy regardless of his age. Couldn't help but having the picture of Simon wearing floral crown floated around his mind, Alec bit his bottom lip to control his snickers.

Knowing what he was doing, Simon sighed wearily.

"I hate you… Oh thanks." The waiter delivered their drinks, Simon sipped at his coffee.

"What about you, Alec? How does it go with Magnus?"

"Nothing!" His grips on the lemonade tightened, and obviously Simon noticed that little gesture. "Really? Because we all know what you two are doing, you're just too shy to admit it."

"There's really nothing."

Alec confirmed firmly as he pushed the glass to the center. Meeting with Simon was great, but there was some painful part of Simon making fun of his affection to Magnus. It took him a great willpower not to slap the vampire in the face.

"Whatever, just send me an invitation when you two decide to get married."

He laughed when Alec groaned lowly, nose wrinkled in distaste. Simon always liked to tease him about his relationship with Magnus and Alec would be lying if he said he didn't enjoy it, because he did. There was something between them Alec couldn't describe what they were. It had been bothering him ever since Alec had settled down in Manhattan with the help of the warlock. Every night before sleep he would think of Magnus, of his smile and warmth from his body.

With the troubling thoughts Alec forked the spaghetti into his mouth, chewing forcefully.

After dropping off Simon at the hotel Alec went to work. He was working in an animal shelter for a year now, sterilizing homeless animals and getting them a family. It always lightened up his day when a kitten was adopted, or received an email telling him how much happiness the dog had brought to the family. It was all about the small things that kept Alec going, because it made him believe in himself. He wasn't the helpless teenager on the street anymore. Alec too, had the ability to give.

As usual today he had to feed the tortoises and rabbits, then he had to prepare for the next week's adoption events. Scanning the shelter, Alec sighed. There was way too many animals in here.

Toby slowly moved slowly toward Alec, who was holding half of the remaining stem as another half was snatched by White. The young adult scratched around Cherry's neck. The tortoiseshell cat purred and closed her eyes, enjoying her servant's service. Smiling fondly, Cherry reminded him of Magnus; they had the same eye colors. There were differences, but both beautiful in their own ways.

Alec stood up as everyone was full, he unplugged the claws on his sweater and deposited Cherry on the ground, leaving the old cat in a room full of rabbits and tortoises. Returned to his seat, Alec started working on the adoption events.

He jumped when a hand slammed on his desk. Looked up from the piles of papers Helen said to him with a serious face.

"Go home Alec. It is six already. Leave them for tomorrow."

Glancing at the clock, Alec shot up from his seat and messily slipped the papers into the files. He was late for the annual gathering.

* * *

While everyone was here except Alec, Magnus began to worry if the blue-eyed boy was too into his work again. Secretly he liked to call him _boy_ – it just clicked for Magnus. Alec had aired his opinion about being a man shouldn't be called a _boy_, Magnus complied. On the surface.

They were in the living room, attentions drawn to the golden-haired toddler. Simon generously bought figures for Max and played with him on the floor. Clary and Jace preparing food in the kitchen, trusting the vampire wouldn't corrupt their son with manga and nerd stuff. On the other hand, Magnus was petting Chairman on the couch, waiting impatiently for Alec.

The buzzer went off when the minute hand moved to the 6.

"It must be Alec."

Magnus went for the door and a while later a panting Alec emerged from the stairs. Judging from past experience the boy must have immersed in his work and forgot the time.

"Sorry, hope I'm not too late." Said between his breaths, Alec walked in and hung his bag on the hook. Magnus could smell the fresh grass on his sweater. And expectedly, few more holes decorated the sleeves. _Those cats had no sense of fashion_, Magnus thought.

Closed the door, Magnus yanked Alec back, who was trying to get into the living room. He ran his fingers in the tangled black hairs, mumbled.

"Alec, did you brush your hair this morning?"

Alec's eyes were darting around, at anywhere but Magnus. He grinned in his heart – this was too adorable.

"Yes!" Alec grumbled, wanted to take away Magnus's fingers in his hair but failed when Magnus caught his instead. His smile widened when the cheeks flushing, he caressed the knuckles.

"I would not let you leave like this, if you wasn't insist on going home changing."

Although Alec was living in Manhattan while Magnus's apartment was in Brooklyn, Alec tended to spend most of his nights at Magnus's. They hadn't done anything cross the line, simply sharing each other's company. Alec would make up silly reasons to stay, he wasn't objecting though.

They shared a bed, but nothing further ever happened. In the past Magnus would have jumped the boy on the first night, but it was Alec. Not only did Magnus want his body, but he also desired his heart; and this had to be done step by step.

Sometimes he would steal a kiss or two, testing the limit. And he triumphed when Alec didn't refuse; when in the right mood, Alec would response heatedly, and the normal night then turned into a hot make-out session. Regrettably, it had only happened once.

They stopped at kissing because Magnus didn't want to pressure the boy. He wasn't sure if Alec was ready for his first serious romantic relationship. So Magnus took his time.

He bended down for a kiss and surprisingly Alec lifted his head to meet him midway. The shorter man was not into PDA, even holding hands in public would make him blush like a walking cherry bomb. They could be caught by Simon, Clary or Jace. Yet Alec pulled him closer by dragging his collar, deepened the kiss.

When Magnus was about to push Alec on the wall, Jace's yell from the kitchen destroyed the moment.

"Now bring your lazy asses over here. Dinner is ready!"

His sigh in annoyance contrasted with the chuckles from Alec. The boy placed his palms on Magnus's chest, said coyly while his stare fixed on the ground.

"We should talk tonight…"

"Definitely."

* * *

The End… Hope the ending pleases everyone :D

And I'm thinking writing a short AU of Mechanic!Alec and Robot!Magnus, I have some ideas. However, currently I'm a bit busy so it might have to wait for two months or so. Leave you opinion and ideas in the review?


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